I Will Possess Your Heart
by PoisonAngelMuse
Summary: "Where everyone saw just another weird geek, I saw potential" Edward is a geek, Bella is the new girl in town, a funny and hot story! 'Cause who doesn't love a geek Edward? Lemons for later chapters.
1. Fucking Disneyland

**Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer: "**Where everyone saw just another weird geek, I saw potential"

Edward is a geek, Bella is the new girl in town, a funny and hot story! 'Cause who doesn't love a geek Edward? Lemons for later chapters.

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**Stephenie Meyer owns everything, I own only a dirty mind and lots of Eddie dreams.**

**A/N**_**: **__Hey guys, __**plot 1**__ won, but don't worry plots number 2 and 3 will soon come up too!_

_Hope you all enjoy, and please, if you don't like this chapter, read the other before you guys give up on me_!

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**Prologue**

**BPOV**

_I nev__er thought I would miss the dry air, the heat and the desert._

_I never thought I would miss Phoenix._

_How can you miss something that you don't even love?_

_But what is love anyway? Nothing but a chemical reaction in your brain, so you can have sex without guilt, keep the species alive. Period._

_That was what I always thought. Until I met him._

_Now I really wished I had never left Phoenix._

_

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**CHAPTER 1 – Fucking Disneyland**

**BPOV**

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I said, looking at my mother and my step father sitting in our living room.

"Watch the language, Young Lady," my mother said, touching her pearl necklace.

"Isabella, I thought we had already discussed this," John, my step father said, folding his journal.

"This is bullshit. You guys can't do this to me!" I screamed at them.

"Honey, I don't see what the problem is, it is such a lovely place," my mother said.

"The fucking problem is that I am going to leave my home, my friends, my entire life!" I shouted at them.

"If I remember, we had an agreement, which involves a certain BMW Mini Cooper," John said, looking from his glasses.

"You can't be serious, you want to bargain this with my car?" I said.

"But I am. After all, I gave you a 21,000 dollar car, in trade you won't put up a fit when the time to move comes," he said.

"It's fucking Disneyland!" I screamed, jumping from the arm chair I where I'd been sitting.

"It's Jacksonville, not Orlando, dear," my mother said.

"It's the same," I said with sarcasm.

"Isabella," he said.

"John," I replied.

"Fine. You won't move, that is fine then," he said, getting up from the couch.

"Thank you," I said, relieved, but suspicious.

"The keys," he said, holding his hand out to me.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Your car keys," he said, with a hard tone.

"Why in hell would you want my car keys?" I said, holding them tightly in my hand.

"If the deal is off, I want my share," he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"No!" I screamed.

"Isabella, give me the keys. The car is mine, after all, I paid for it, and since you won't fulfill your part, neither am I," he said, opening his hand.

"Please don't do this to me," I pleaded.

"You are leaving me no choice here, Young Lady," he said.

"Anything but my car. Take my iphone, my credit card, but not her," I said, begging.

"The keys," he said, in a final tone.

"Fuck, fine, I will go to fucking Disneyland," I said, storming out of the room.

"We leave in two days honey, you better start packing," my mother said.

So that's how I found myself here, fucking Florida, the hottest and most humid place in the US.

"Can't you just pretend you are happy for him?" my mother asked me, while driving my car.

"Why should I? He is ruining my life," I said, putting my hair into a messy bun, trying to free myself from the heat.

"He is doing what is best for our family," she said, looking from her sunglasses.

"No, he is doing what he thinks is best for him," I said, looking out the car window.

"Claire didn't complain about moving here," she said.

"She is six years old, what does she know?" I said, thinking about my traitor little sister, who was in the car with John.

"Bella, sweet, I promise this will be great for all of us. Trust me," she said, touching my knee.

"Yeah, right," I said, turning the music on my Iphone louder, so I wouldn't have to listen to her.

Soon we parked in front of a cute little house. It was a three story Victorian antique brick house. It had a small front yard and even a front porch with a small garden. ( picture on my profile )

My mother parked my car next to John's red GM truck, and soon Claire was out of the car, jumping with excitement.

"Do you like it baby?" my mom asked my baby sister.

"Yes, it's so pretty," Claire said, running through the grass.

"What about you, Bella?" John asked me.

"It's all right, I guess," I said, looking at the house.

"Come on, I have a surprise for you," John said, telling me to follow him.

As soon as he opened the front door, I could see the empty rooms, the light coming from the big bay window of the living room, and the stairs that led to the upper floor.

"You know I don't like surprises, John," I said, following him up the stairs.

"I think you will like this one," he said, leading me to the third floor.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" he said.

"Oh My God," I said, shocked at what I was seeing.

"I thought this would help make the transition easier for you," he said, pointing to the mirrored room.

"You got me a dance room?" I asked him.

"Yeah, so you can practice. And besides, Claire will like the space too," he said, a little embarrassed.

"Thank you," I said, hugging him.

"No problem, kiddo," he smiled at me.

"I can't believe I have my own floor," I said, looking at my empty bedroom, with lavender walls and big windows.

"I am glad that you like it, and in trade, you will stay out of trouble," he said, crossing his arms.

"I don't look for trouble," I said.

"Yeah, I know, trouble finds you," he said with sarcasm.

"I will be a good girl, I promise," I said, looking at my mirror room.

"Bella, this is your senior year. Please, try to behave," he said.

"I swear, Scout's honor," I said, smiling.

"You were never a scout," he said.

"So? It's the thought that matters right?" I said, smiling.

"Fine, now let's go unpack," he said, pointing at the moving truck that had just parked in front of the house.

Soon the day turned into night, and we hadn't unpacked half of our stuff. We were sitting on an inflatable mattress, an empty pizza box on the floor, and Claire fast asleep on my mom's lap.

"She is so worn out," my mom said, running her hand through my sister's soft brown locks.

"Oh yeah, after all, we just crossed 6 states in six days" I said with sarcasm.

"Do you always need to be such an annoying teenager?" John asked.

"Yes," I said, smiling.

"Stop you two, let's grab some sleep too. After all, tomorrow is Bella's first day," my mom said.

"My first day of what?" I asked.

"Your first day in your new school," my mom said.

"What the hell?" I said.

"You are going to wake up your sister," John said, telling me to talk lower.

"Mother, tomorrow is Wednesday," I said.

"So what?" she said.

"It's the middle of the god damn week," I said, pissed.

"You already lost too many days," she said.

"Can't I start on Monday, like a normal person?" I asked.

"No,you need to retrieve your lost time" she said

"But Claire won´t go to school tomorrow" I said,annoyed

"Your sister is in the first grade,not in High School"

"But ... " I tried to argue,but it was useless.

"Isabella, you will go tomorrow, end of discussion," John said, and I knew that nothing would change their minds.

I went up to my room, which was stuffed with boxes, took off all my clothes and got inside my sleeping bag. Tomorrow was going to be a fucking long day.

I woke up to the sound of my excited sister, and the moving of furniture. Only my family would be doing that at 6 am.

"Morning sunshine," my mother said from my doorstep.

"Go away," I said, covering my head with my sleeping bag.

"Bella, Bella, wake up," Claire said, pushing me away from the bag.

"How can you be this happy, this early?" I said to her.

"It's your first day, Bella, aren't you excited?" my little sister asked me.

"Deadly," I answered.

"Bella," my mother said.

"Fine," I said, getting out from the bag, only in a pair of boy shorts and a tank.

"Don't be late," my mother said, taking Claire downstairs with her.

I took a hot shower, washing my hair and shaving my legs, using all the free time I had.

I choose to go with a plaid red skirt, a black tank, and a gray vest. I put on my pair of brown military boots, silver necklace and bracelet, and a black ring. I grabbed my handbag, my Ray-Bans, my Iphone, my notebook, and my keys. I was ready to go. ( **picture on my profile** )

"Aren't you going to eat with us?" my mother asked me from the kitchen.

"Can't I am late," I said, grabbing an apple and a cereal bar and blowing a kiss to Claire.

"Good luck," Claire said, eating her breakfast.

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I got in my car and stormed out of there, following the instructions that John had given to me last night. It wasn't hard to find the school. The Robert E Lee High School was the biggest in Jacksonville. ( picture on my profile )

I parked my car next to a yellow gold converse New Beetle and a black Ford truck. The people here seemed to be the same as in Phoenix, which could mean only one thing: I had a new kingdom to conquer.

I was walking to the main office when a small girl with dark hair and fashionable clothes blocked my way.

"Isabella Swan?" she asked me.

"Excuse me?" I asked her.

"Alice Cullen, head of the welcome committee," she said, stretching her hand to me.

"You always jump in front of the people in the hallways?" I asked her.

"Generally no, but I couldn't let the slut's and jock's committee get you before I did," she said with a devilish smile.

"I feel so special," I said with sarcasm. "Come on, I am saving you from a lot of trouble, here," she said, taking my arm with her.

"Ouch, look where you are walking," I heard a blond jock shouting.

"Mike, cut it out!" Alice screamed.

"So Weirdward, let's see how you will be now that your big brother isn't here to protect you anymore," the jock pushed a tall guy against the lockers. Books and music sheets fell. I could hear the screams of the crowd, but the only thing I could think about were those deep green eyes.

"Newton, let him go," a blond boy with a southern accent, cowboy boots, and a guitar on his back, said.

"Are you sure you wanna pick on that, Whitlock?" the jock said.

"Hell yeah," the blond cowboy said.

"Jasper, let's go," a velvet voice said, disappearing in the middle of people.

"Who was that?" I asked Alice.

"That was Jasper Whitlock," Alice said, walking down the hall, trying not to sound affected by the boy.

"And the other one?" I asked, wondering who the mysterious boy was.

"That was Edward Cullen," she said.

"Cullen?" I asked her.

"He is my cousin," she said.

"That's why you tried to stop the jock?" I asked her.

"Mike Newton always hated Edward, but he was too scared of Edward's older brother to do anything. Now that Emmett's graduated, Mike is trying to make Edward's life hell," she said.

"What the fuck is his problem?" I asked, annoyed with the jock.

"Mental illness is my best guess. Hey, you have Bio now and I have Math. Meet at lunch?" she asked.

"Ok, see ya later," I said to her, walking to my class.

"Ms. Swan, I am glad you could join us, take your seat please," the teacher said, pointing at the only empty seat in the class.

It was next to him, the tall boy that the jock hated, Edward Cullen.

I walked to the table, making a few heads turn as I went, but the only pair of eyes that I wanted to look at me were fixed on a piece of paper.

I sat on the stool next to him, but he didn't turn to me, so I didn't turn to him.

The boring class went, and all I could do was watch him. He was deep in concentration, writing notes on a sheet, his fingers dirty with paint, his shaggy brown reddish hair falling in front of his thick glasses.

He keep biting his lip and running his hand over his worn out jeans, his gray plaid shirt was open, and I could see a white one inside of it. ( picture on my profile )

His dirty chucks kept bouncing on the floor, like he was anxious, and before I could do anything, a voice interrupted us.

"Mr. Cullen, what is the answer to the question I just asked?" the teacher asked.

"The Krebs Cycle," he answered, making me, the teacher, and the entire room open our mouths in shock.

"Well done," the teacher said, continuing the class.

He gave me a quick look from his thick lashes and glasses. It probably lasted only a few seconds. But for me that was enough. It was all I needed.

The bell rang a few seconds later, and before I had time to introduce myself, he was out of the room.

I grabbed my stuff and walked down the hall, too lost in thought to do anything, to see anyone.

His deep green eyes.

Fire.

To them, he was Weirdward, for me he was so much more.

Where everyone saw just another weird geek, I saw potential.

I knew why I'd ended up here. I knew my purpose.

Every kingdom needed a ruler.

Every queen needed a king.

Edward Cullen was going to be my king.

He was going to rule this school.

And nothing would ever taste so sweet.

"What's up with the smile?" Alice asked me, walking beside me to the lunchroom.

"Let's just say that a new era is about to arise," I said to her.

"Sounds promising," she said.

"You have no idea," I said, winking at her.

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**A/N**: _Hello beautiful people, so what you guys think of chapter 1?_

_I know it is short, but this is just the beggining, more hot times are to come! I swear!_

_So, I__ must say that my Edward is inspired in Rob Pattinson character Daniel Gale, and I totally love him, I have the hots for the geeks!_

_Hahahahaha_

_Anyway, the__ sets are on my polyvore account, hope you all like it!_

_Thanks for all you guys support and for believing in my work!_

_Love,_

_Carol_


	2. The Other Cullen

**Disclaimer:** All of this belongs to the amazing SM,I just own this plot,and some crazy dreams with geek Edward!

**A/N:** _Honey,I am back!_

_Sorry I took so long,but my life was a mess!I really hope you all can forgive me,and didn´t given up this story!_

_Enjoy,I promiss to update every week from now on!_

_xx_

_C._

ps)** Coco,this is for you bb!**

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**Chapter 2 - The Other Cullen**

**EPOV**

You know those guys who walk around the hall but you never notice them? Those guys who are deep in their own world? Those guys whose faces you forget? Those guys no one cares about? The loners.

I am one of them.

My life may sound like a cheesy teen movie. But that's how it is.

All my life I've been known as an outcast.

The only thing that made a difference was that I was Emmett Cullen's little brother.

But all of that was about to end. You'll see why.

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"Edward, hun. Get up or you're going to be late," I heard my mom calling me against my bedroom door.

"I am up, I am up," I said, into my pillow with a muffled and dry voice.

I slowly got up, looking at the spread papers, my music sheets covering my bedroom floor, my clothes thrown everywhere.

"Mom's gonna kill me when she sees this," I said, running my hand over my bed hair.

"Edward Cullen. You get out here this instant!" my mom screamed.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back, looking at my fallen alarm clock.

"Oh shit," I said, grabbing some clothes that were thrown against my leather sofa and running to the shower. "Shit, shit, shit," I said, as the cold water fell over my body.

I dressed fast, with my wet hair, my wrinkled white t-shirt, dirty jeans, and my old chucks.

"Fuck!" I shouted, as I fell thanks to my undone chuck laces.

"Honey, is everything all right?" my mom asked me when I ran down the stairs.

"I am freaking late," I said to her while trying to drink my orange juice.

"Maybe you shouldn't spend the entire night on that computer then," my mom said with a reproachful look.

"Mother," I said, trying to change the subject.

"Did you at least talk to your brother yesterday?" she asked me, drinking her coffee.

"Just a little. He was busy with college stuff," I said, trying really hard to eat my breakfast without choking myself.

"My boys are growing up so fast," my moms said while touching my hair.

"Yada yada," I said, getting up from the table.

"Edward, you barely ate," she said to me, looking at my almost full plate of pancakes.

"Got to go, Mom," I said, grabbing my pack and my keys.

Before she could say anything else I was out the door.

I got inside my Volvo, the only thing that seemed to make me happier these days, and took off.

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The halls were full as always.

A gigantic mass of bodies. One running against the other. Empty faces, empty people, living empty lives.

Since my brother went away to California to go to college, this place has started to look worse every time. For me this was another day in hell.

But as each day passed, it was one less day I would have to endure it, one less day to be with these people. To them I was nothing but a ghost. Invisible.

At least that was what I was hoping for.

Being as fucking late as I was, my need to run seemed necessary, but unfortunately, my lack of motor coordination was stronger. Before I could stop myself, my body collided with the last person I needed to face right now.

Michael Fucking Newton.

"What the fuck?" he shouted as I crashed against this back, falling on the floor.

"Ouch! Look where you're walking!" Mike shouted, looking at me on the floor, surrounded by a mass of papers.

I couldn't look up. I knew what this would result in. And the only thing I wanted right now was to disappear.

I could hear the mass forming around us. I knew what they wanted. They wanted a fucking show. But I wasn't going to put up with that shit. Not today.

All I could do was try to get my things and try to run away from it. As I always did. As I always would do.

"Mike, cut it out!" I could hear my cousin Alice screaming. She seemed to be trying to take the position of my fairy god mother these days.

"So Weirdward, let's see how you will be now that your big brother isn't here to protect you anymore," Michael said, pushing me against a locker.

My music sheets were all over the floor, Michael's dirty sneakers over them. And all I could hear was the laughter and screams around us.

Maybe he was right. Emmett wasn't here anymore. I suppose being invisible did have some advantages.

I stood there, frozen against the locker, trying to think of a way to get out of here, but I couldn't find one.

"Newton, let him go," I heard Jasper's rough voice before even seeing him.

"Are you sure you wanna pick on that Whitlock?" Mike said, still pressing me against the locker with so much force that my shoulders were starting to hurt.

"Hell yeah," Jasper said, pushing Newton away from me.

"Pussy," Michael said, letting go of me and going back to his friends.

I knew that Jasper had a short temper, and that if he exploded things would get ugly.

"Jasper, let's go," I said, pushing him away from there and grabbing my things from the floor.

"I don't know why you put up with his shit, Edward," Jasper said, running a hand through his hair.

"Because I don't want a show," I said, putting my glasses back in place.

"You know that you can take that shit head down, man," he said, frustrated.

"I know that, but a fight would ruin my chances of Julliard," I said.

"What are you talking about? You are so already in that school," Jasper said.

"You don't know that," I said with a low voice.

"Dude," Jasper started saying.

"Later, man," I said, walking in direction of my Biology class.

That class was one of my best subjects. And the best part: I worked alone. I didn't need a lab partner, I knew that. Mr. Thomas knew that. The entire fucking class knew that. So they kept their distance and everything went fine.

I walked fast to my table at the end of the room, put my things on the table, grabbed my Ipod, plugged it in, caught my dirty half-written music sheets and waited for the class to start.

I was in the middle of Chopin 'Nocturne in C-sharp Minor' when I heard the door that was already closed opening one more time.

"Ms. Swan, I am glad you could join us, take your seat please," I heard Mr. Thomas saying to a girl.

And for some reason, I decided to look up, and for the very first time I thanked God I went to this place.

She was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on. Pale skin, full lips, dark, wavy long hair. Perfection.

It lasted only one second, but it was enough to make every cell in my body vibrate.

I could feel her sweet perfume as she approached me.

I knew what that meant. This was the only empty spot. She would be my lab partner.

Oh. Fucking. Shit.

That was so not good.

How was I going to endure sitting next to this goddess who probably wouldn't even notice my meaningless existence?

I froze. I didn't know what to do. Did I introduce myself? Did I try to make small talk with her? Would she even try to know the old and plain Edward Cullen?

Why would she?

I was nothing but a mess. Just a geek. With my crazy weird hair. With big scary green eyes. Too tall and too skinny. Too unperfected.

She didn't belong with people like me.

She didn't belong in my world.

And just like that I decided it: for her it would be like I never existed.

I kept all my attention on the music sheet in front of me. I took my earplugs out, grabbed a pen, and started to write against the paper. It didn't mean anything, but she didn't need to know that. I made the action seem like the most interesting thing in the world.

I could feel her eyes burning my skin. But like I knew it would, her interest soon dissipated. And she turned her attention back to the class.

I could hear everything, every little breath she took, the sound of her legs crossing, the sound of the fabric of her skirt against her thighs. I kept my head down, staring at the empty paper. My dirty hands, full of paint, were now trembling and sweating.

For the very first time I didn't know what was happening to me.

I didn't plan this. I didn't want this.

My hands were against my worn out jeans, trying to contain myself from this need. Of her. I started biting my lip so hard it hurt. But pain was good. It kept me focused on what I should really be doing: trying to get this woman out of my head.

Anxiety was getting the best of me. I could hear the ticks of the clock against the wall. Counting the seconds until I could get the hell out of here.

I almost didn't hear it, but thank God for multi-tasking.

"The Krebs Cycle," I answered Mr. Thomas's question without looking at the paper.

"Well done," he said, going back to what he was saying before.

I could feel her eyes again on me. Before I could stop myself I was staring right back at her.

It could have been hours or just one second.

When green got lost in chocolate brown.

I could feel that pull.

Like my body needed her like it needs oxygen.

And that was all it took.

I knew in that moment that Ms. Swan would be the death of me if I let her.

I needed to get away from here, and fast.

Before she could say anything I was out the room.

I'd never run so fast away from this Hell.

That was the day I decided that I would do everything to stay away from her.

She didn't belong in my world.

And I am sure as hell didn´t belong to her.

After all,I was just the other Cullen.

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_**A/N:**And after too long I am back!_

_I am so sorry,but those past few months were terrible,and I had a major writers block!_

_But I am glad to say that now I am back!_

_Hope you all stay with me during this new jurney,I am sure will enjoy the ride!_

_Reviews makes my heart grow and my fingers type faster!_

_xoxo_

_C._


	3. Fix You

**Disclaimer:** The Lovely owns everything, I just own a huge crush on geek Edward!

**A/N:** _Thanks so much to all of you who stood by my side. I can´t even tell how much it meant to me, all the reviews and all the support I have recived from you guys._

_And thats why I give you all chapter 3!_

_Enjoy._

_Carol_

_**P.S.) please check out my polyvore account for all those sets in my profile!**_

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**Chapter 3 – Fix You**

**BPOV**

God he was gorgeous.

Could he look any more sexy with his messy hair and that Ghost Buster t-shirt? Did I mention the Vans? I had no idea when a pair of shoes became a turn on,but those things were making me drown a little. And that old pair of jeans. Oh Jesus. They made his ass look so fucking good. Good enough to eat. I would love to just...

"Ok, spill girl," Alice said, taking a bite of her apple.

"Spill what, Alice?" I asked a little nervously, coming back from my Edward land and trying to avoid her bright green eyes. Like his eyes. Such beautiful eyes.

"What's going on between you and my cousin?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said, feeling defensive.

"Come on, B, I can see the way you look at him," she said, smiling.

"I do not," I said, eating some of my salad.

"So, are you telling me that you are not a bit atractted to my clumsy cousin?" she asked, raising her perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"He is not that clumsy," I said, looking back at Edward where he was sitting with Jasper.

"Are you sure about that?" Alice asked when Edward spilled his soda all over his shirt.

"Maybe not," I said with a smile.

"You should try it you know," she said.

"Try what?" I asked.

"To hook up with my baby cousin," she said, smiling.

"Alice, we are so not like that," I told her, grabbing my stuff to leave.

"And why not?" she said, coming behind me.

"We are not even friends," I told her, throwing the rest of my lunch in the trash.

"I thought you guys were lab partners?" she asked, confused.

"And we are," I said, looking down at my dirty chucks.

"Honey, do you wanna talk about it?" Alice asked me, touching my arm.

"Not really," I said, running a hand through my hair.

"Want to skip last period?" she asked with a smile.

"Now you are talking my language," I said, smiling.

"There are some sales at the Jacksonville Landing that I wanna check out. Interested?

"Always, A." I said, making my way to the school's front door.

The mall was really amazing. We could see the St. John's River and the boats, and the hot guys around were just a bonus. The place was huge, and before I knew it, Alice had dragged me around and made me do some serious damage to my credit card.

"I am so glad you came with me, B. You will look so hot with that skirt and that..." Alice kept saying, but I couldn´t hear the words.

All I could do was look at those little girls.

They could be like 6 years old, with their baby pink tutus.

The small tights.

The look of hapiness in their eyes.

All I could do was look at the logo '_Jacksonville Starz'_. (**this place is real by the way**)

It seemed that it all happend a lifetime ago.

"Bella, did you hear any word I said?" Alice asked me, putting her numerous bags on the floor.

"Sorry, I kind of spaced out for a little while," I said, looking back at her.

"Thinking about doing some dance classes?" Alice asked, looking at the dance studio.

"Me? No way," I said, trying to leave .

"Why not? It seems fun," Alice said, looking at the running little girls.

"I am so not coordinated enough for that," I said, trying to make a fake laugh.

"Why am I not buying this?" Alice asked in a doubtful voice.

"Alice, please..." I said, trying to make her drop it.

"Ok, I will let this go for now. But promise that when you want to talk, you will come to me," she said with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Promise," I said, walking away from the studio. From all of that.

"Let's talk about a more juicy subject, like my geek cousin," she said, smiling.

"In the name of God, that's nothing to talk about," I said.

"I really think you should discuss your obssession over him," she said, laughing.

"I am not obssessed over Edward Cullen!" I shouted, making heads turn in our direction.

"If you say so," she said devilishly.

"Yeah I say so," I said, looking back at her with a mean stare.

"Good, 'cause he is right behind you," she said, pointing at the game arcade that we ended up stopping in front of.

There he was.

I knew he heard our conversation 'cause as soon as I set my eyes on him, he got Jasper and ran out of there.

Great.

Now he wouldn't only pretend I didn't exist, but he thinks I am obssessed with him. Thanks a lot Alice.

"I can't belive you!" I shouted at Alice, running away from there.

"Bella, I am sorry, I didn´t mean to make him hear that," Alice said sincerely.

"He doesn't even speak with me during our lab. Now he thinks I am some crazy stalker," I said, sitting on the front steps of the mall.

"Honey, this is Edward we are talking about," she said with a smile.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her, feeling really annoyed.

"Let's just say that the social gene dosen´t run in our family," she said, sitting next to me.

"Can you be a little less cryptic about it?" I said, putting on my Wayfarer Ray-Bans.

"Edward is social freak," she said.

"I thought he was just really shy," I said.

"Not at all, he just dosen´t like being around people," she said.

"Are you telling me your cousin dosen´t like to be around human beings?" I asked, shocked.

"Not exactly. He just dosen´t feel comfortble around people he dosen´t know," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"What happend?" I asked.

"He used to be bulled a lot, you know. Emmett always stepped up for him, but he couldn´t always be there. Besides, I guess he had that younger brother thing," she said.

"What thing?"

"Emmett was the perfect guy in his eyes. Athletic. Popular. Had a gorgeous girlfriend. Everything he didn't have," she said, making it sound so silly.

"That's ridiculous. I am so not in to jocks," I said.

"Me neither. I am really more in to the artist type you know," she said, smiling.

"Like some certain guy named Jasper," I teased.

"Maybe," she said.

"OMG. Is Alice Cullen blushing?" I said, laughing at her pink cheeks.

"Stop it, Bella," she said, embarassed.

"Since when do you crush on Edward´s best friend?" I asked.

"Since he got here in freshman year. I will never forget the first time I saw him, his curly golden hair, his deep blue eyes..." she said with dreamming eyes.

"His ugly cowboy boots," I said, laughing.

"Now you are just being mean. Stop ruining my Jasper fantasy," she said with another laugh.

"So if he´s been here that long, why haven´t you put your moves on the cowboy yet?" I asked.

"'Cause he would so turn me down...and I don´t want to make things weird for Edward," she said, looking down at her ballet flats.

"Why would he turn you down? You are gorgeous, funny, smart," I said, trying to assure her.

"He probably thinks I am just another shallow girl," she said.

"Have you even ever tried to talk to him?" I asked her.

"Not really, just school stuff and small talk when I see him with Edward," she told me.

"Alice, we so need to change that," I said, getting up.

"Look who's talking," she said back to me.

"You said it yourself, Edward is a totaly different case," I replied.

"My cousin just needs someone to push his buttons a little bit," she said.

"And you think that I am the one to do it?" I asked, laughing.

"Why not? I bet you can sex up my geeky, lovely cousin," she said, winking at me.

"And what makes you think I would want to do that?" I asked her, reaching her canary golden New Beetle convertible.

"Well, Einstein girl, I think we both know you've got the hots for the geeks," she said, pointing at my t-shirt, and laughing.

Who knew Alice would be such a wise girl?

* * *

"Mom, I am home," I said, opening the front door.

"Bella, you are home!" said my little sister while hugging my legs.

"Hey kiddo,where's Mom?" I asked, looking at the living room covered in moving boxes.

"She's upstairs," she said, smiling at me.

"Claire, why are you dressed like a fairy?" I asked, looking at her costume.

"But I'm not, I'm a ballerina," she said, trying to do a pirouette but falling down in the spin.

"Claire,who gave you this costume?" I asked, feeling my eyes watering.

"Momma said I could keep it, that you didn´t need it anymore," she said, smiling.

"I can´t believe it," I said, running up the stairs to reach the third floor.

There she was, putting posters on the lavander wall.

Boxes of an entirely differnt life were now empty. the evidence spread all over the floor.

Pictures, fabric, a rug, a coffee table, an armchair.

A huge poster of a young girl, nervous, during her first performace.

An adhesive on the mirror.

Juilliard. School of Dance.

"What are you doing?" I screammed at my mom while she hung up another poster on my not so empty wall.

"Honey, you are home," my mom said, climbing down the step that was against the mirror wall.

"Mother,what the hell do you think you are doing?" I shouted, looking at the worn out pointe shoes laying around.

"I am putting everything in its place. It's looking good right?" she said, looking at her work.

"Who gives you the right?" I asked her, trying to hold back my anger.

"Excuse me?" she asked me, looking confused.

"Who gave you the right to touch my stuff?" I asked, grabbing a pair of old pink ballet slippers.

"Stop being so dramatic, Isabella," my mom said, grabbing the shoes from my hand and throwing them in a box.

"This is my life, Mother, you can´t just come here and do as you please," I said, walking in the direction of the damn adhesive on the mirror.

"Exactly. This is your life," she said, pointing at the little girl on the poster.

"Mother," I said, trying to make her stop.

"This has been your life since you were 3 years old," my mom said.

"Stop it," I said, trying to shut down the pain.

"You were so amazing, you have so much potential," she kept saying.

"Please," I begged with eyes full of tears.

"I can´t let you throw all of this away," she said, looking me in the eyes.

"Why can´t you just understand that it's over?" I shouted at her.

"Because it is not over, honey," she said, trying to give me a warm smile.

"I won´t dance ever again," I said with cold eyes.

"Angie wouldn´t want you to..." she started to say, but I couldn´t let her keep going. This hurt too much.

"Don´t you dare say a word about her," I said.

"Isabella, it's been a year. She won´t come back, no matter how much you try to punish yourself!" my mom shouted back at me.

"Why can´t you respect my decision at least once?" I screammed.

"Because we both know you are making the biggest mistake of your life," she said, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Can´t you let this go?" I begged

"No. This has been your dream since you were a little girl. I won´t let you give up on it," she said.

"Well, guess what, Mother, the dream is dead," I said, running away from the dance studio.

I locked my door and fell against it.

Why did everything have to be so hard?

I looked around my now almost ready room. Just a few boxes were still full, just the ones that I didn´t want to empty.

I could see one laying around. The box looked old, like it had been turned too many times, like it had lived through a lifetime.

I fell on my knees in front of it, feeling the tears streamming down my face. That box had once held up my whole world.

In the middle of a mass of tulle, letters, cds, and pictures, there it was. My last memory.

The old wooden frame that held up the dream of two young girls.

A dream that they had cherished together.

A dream that had died. Taking a part of her.

"I am so sorry, Angie, I am so sorry," I said looking back at the portrait of two young girls, with their pink tutus and a whole life of dreams.

I let the tears stream down.

Let myself feel all the pain I'd caused.

Let the guilt take the best of me.

**Fix You - Coldplay**

_When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse_

_And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste  
could it be worse?_

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

_And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth_

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

_Tears stream down on your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down on your face  
And I_

_Tears stream down on your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down on your face  
And I_

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

_

* * *

  
_

_**A/N:**__ So B has a dark secret in her past, that means drama!_

_I know I said there wouldn´t be more drama, but what can I say, I love a good plot!_

_Next chapter Geekward will be back with his Star Wars toys!_

_Hope you all enjoyed this chapter and the new sets on my polyvore account!_

_Lots of love to __**LeKat**__ for still making my mess a kick ass work!Love ya girl!_

_Reviews make me happier than wet dreams with Robert Pattinson!_

_Xoxo_

_C._


	4. Somebody to Love

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, SM owns everything, including my ass. And Edward 'delicious' Cullen!

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**

_**A/N: Like I promised my loves, here is chapter 4!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**For Coco, Bec and Anissa – my girls!**_

**PS) Today is Kristen Stewart's birthday!Congrats girl! You know we all love you!**

**

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**Chapter 4 – Somebody to Love**

**EPOV**

_The scorching sun light._

_The dry air, the three suns high in the sky,__ the excruciating heat._

_The Dune Sea, white sand that ran through my dark boots. Tatooine was a dangerous place. But I needed to be here. It was my responsibility to make her safe._

_I ran, jumping in the direction of Jabba's sail barge. I knew he had kinapped the princess. He was one of the biggest crime lords of the galaxy, but I knew this wasn´t about money. He had a sick desire to cause pain to the princess._

_I could see the halls full of __criminals; __bounty hunters__, __smugglers__, __assassins__, and __bodyguards__ that operated in his criminal empire._

_Jabba The Hut was a vile creature with a grim sense of humor, an insatiable appetite, and affinities for __gambling__, __slave__ girls, and torture. The sail barge was his mobile palace. In here he kept a host of entertainers at his disposal: __slaves__, __droids__, and alien creatures._

_I ran as fast as I could, trying to avoid confrotation, with my lightsaber always at close reach._

_I walked through many dark halls, corners, slowly through the shadows._

_I could feel the energy, the Force leading me to her. She was behind those dark doors._

_There was a key pad beside the door, locking it._

_I grabbed my saber and struck the central panel, making the door open._

_The room was dark, candles were slightly illuminating it. In the center, chained against a dark huge bed, there she was._

_The Princess._

_She was chainned against it, both her wrists and neck were held against the giagantic dark bed. She was laying down, wearing some kind of metal gold slave costume._

_The skimpy costume consisted of a __brass__brassiere__ fastened over the neck and behind the back with __string__ showing her round and __voluptuos__ breasts, a __brass__thong__g-string__panty__ covering her ass, a red __silk__loincloth__ over her long legs, and __leather__high-heeled__boots__ adorning her feet. Her dark brown hair was __fastene__d in a tight braid, but covering her pale face. A gold __snake__arm-wrap__ on her right arm and two __bracelets__ on her small wrists completed the costume. (Y__**ou know exacly what this is, oh yeah, The Golden Bikini - **__**.**__)_

_She looked like a temptation, lying against the white sheets and the red pillows._

_I looked away, trying to remember my vow to The Jedi Order; my life was committed to the Force._

_I needed to get her out of here. There were no windows, no other exit, I would have to wake her._

_So we could leave __conspicuously._

_I touched her face, trying to wake her, but she wouldn´t move._

"_Princess, please you have to wake up," I whispered, waiting for some reaction._

_I decided to remove the chains with my light saber, cutting far away from her delicate skin, freeing her from the her ties._

_Her hair was covering her delicate face, only showing her pink, full, so kissable lips, and I couldn´t stop myself. I needed to see her face._

_When I took off the fallen strands of dark brown hair I couldn´t believe my eyes._

_That face. The one that has been haunting me._

"_Bella," was all I could whisper._

_Her skin was so soft, like velvet. Her lips were so full that they made me want to bite them and see if they tasted like peaches._

_I ran my hand over the softness of her lower lip and it took all my will to not try to suck them._

"_Edward," she whispered slowly, opening her eyes._

_Dark brown melting in emerald green._

"_Princess, forgive me," I said, looking down at the floor._

"_You came to save me," she said, touching my face with her small hand._

"_Yes. Senator Banner sent me to rescue you," I said, trying to get up from the smooth bed._

"_Don´t," she said, trying to hold me down on the bed._

"_We need to go," I said, trying to make her get up with me._

"_Not yet, I need to do something first," she said, holding on to my robe._

"_What is it, Your Highness?" I asked, wondering what could be more important then our own survival._

"_This," she said before crashing her plump pink lips against my own._

_She tasted like peaches and cherrys._

_She smelled like fresh cut grass._

_I knew I shouldn´t let this happen._

_But I couldn´t find a will to stop._

_Her hands went from my robe to my short hair._

_She moaned against my lips and that brought me back from my trance._

"_No," I said, taking her hands from me._

"_Edward, I want you," she said, trying to kiss me again._

"_This is wrong," I said,__ attempting to break her gasp from my body._

"_What is wrong is for you to deny what be both so desperately want," she whispered._

"_This can destroy our lives," I said, looking at her deep brown eyes._

"_Our lives are about to be destroyed anyway," she said, pushing her body against mine._

"_Bella, please," I said, trying to stay true to the Force and my beliefs._

"_What I can´t endure is another minute without you being inside of me," she said, crashing her mouth against mine one more time._

_I couldn´t resist it._

_I could feel every fiber of my being aching for it. For her touch. For her._

_I pushed her body hard against the soft sheets of the bed._

_My lips were everywhere. On her lips. Her neck. Her colarbone. Her breasts._

_Soon my robe and belt were on the floor, leaving me with my boots and pants. My lightsaber fell right beside the bed, but still close to me._

_My hands roamed against her pale skin, finding my way to the valley of her breasts, to her tight stomach, to the depth of her thighs._

"_I need you," she said, trying to guide my hands to the apex of her thighs._

"_Bella, I can´t," I said, out of breath._

"_Yes, you can. I have been dreaming of it for a long time now," she said, making me touch her wet sex._

"_I can´t give myself to the pleasures of the flesh, I made a vow," I said, trying to make a coherent thought._

"_Nobody dies a virgin," she said, touching my aching erection._

"_Say it, out loud," I said, looking at her ._

"_Fuck me, Edward," she whispered before I pushed against her wet core with all my force._

"Fuck," I said, rolling down the bed, falling on the dark and cold wood floor.

I could feel the wetness in my sleeping pants.

My jizz was covered all over my cock.

Yes, I had had another wet dream about Isabella Swan.

I looked over at my now fallen digital clock.

3 AM.

I knew what this meant. Tangled in my sheets, I wouldn´t get anymore sleep tonight.

This wasn´t the first time that I'd woken with my heart pounding in my chest and a mess in my pants. It's not like these were my first wet dreams either, I am an 18 year old male, after all. But for the first time it was all about a real girl and not Leah Organa or Natalie Portman.

And I was sick of it.

How much more pathetic could I become?

No matter how much I tried to stay away from her, she always ended up coming right back at me.

Literally.

I thanked God that my parents didn´t wake up with the sound of me crashing against the wood floor. How freaking embarassing would it be to try to explain to my mom why I was in such a weird state? Not to mention the wetness in my pants.

Looking down, I realized that I needed a shower, a rather cold one.

* * *

Trying to escape my mother's attempt at conversation and my father's worried stares was becoming a habit.

I ran out of the house as fast as I could, skipping breakfast alltogheter, stopping on my way to school only to grab some coffee.

When I reached the school parking lot, Jasper was alredy there next to his black StreetFighter Ducati (.) with a cigarrette in his hand and a smile on his face.

I parked the Volvo next to him; since it was so early, there were many parking spots free.

"How can you be this fucking happy in the morning?" I said, closing my car's door.

"It's a gift," he said with sarcasm.

"Shut up," I said, punching him on the shoulder.

"What crawled in your ass today, Cullen?" Jasper asked me, putting down his cigarrette.

"I just didn´t get much sleep last night," I said, pushing my glasses back in place.

"Did you keep playing WOW 'till 5 am again?" he asked in a mocking tone.

"Fuck off, Jasper. And no. I actually went to bed early," I said, annoyed.

"Then what was it? Wait, let me guess. Did you have some naughty dreams about Natalie Portman again?" he asked me, mocking my supossed obssession with Ms. Portman.

"It was more an Episode VI than Episode II kind of dream," I said, running my hand through my messy hair.

"Dude, did you bang Princess Leah in your dream? 'Cause Carrie Fisher is like older than your mom,"Jasper said, laughing.

"It was not like that," I said, frustrated.

"Then what was it that's making you PMS more than usual?" he asked me.

"I dreamt about Bella, ok. Happy now?" I said, sitting on the grass.

"Again? Wait, what?" he asked, a little confused.

After that I began to tell the tale about my **The Return of the Jedi **inspired X-rated kind of dream.

"Dude, that's just sick. You know that Princess Leah is Luke Skywalker's twin sister! This shit is just wrong," Jasper said with a sickened face.

"Jasper..." I said, trying to stop him.

"Besides, she ends up fucking his best friend, space cowboy, Han Solo at the end. Which would make me the one to fuck her and not you," he said with a disgusted face.

"Can´t you just listen to me? This girl is screwing with my head," I shouted.

"Why don´t you just go and try to speak with her, you know, like any other human being would," he said.

"You know how well that ended up the last time..."

_***EPOV FLASBACK***_

"_Isabella Swan is staring at you again," Jasper said, grabbing another bite of his cheeseburger._

"_What?" I asked,__ incredulous, looking in her direction._

"_Since when is she your cousin's new BFF?" Jasper asked, trying to hide his interest._

"_Since when do you say'BFF' man?" I asked, laughing._

"_All the cool kids are doing it these days," he said with a smile._

"_But if you really want to know, it seems that Bella is the new Rosalie," I said, looking back at my food._

"_Mean and superficial?" Jasper asked._

"_No, like her new best friend or something," I said._

"_Interesting" he said._

"_What?" I asked, knowing that Jasper would come up with something._

"_Why, my friend, would you think I would plan something for you?" he said, trying to play inoccent._

"'_Cause I know you, asshole," I said, already feeling sorry for whatever Jasper would think up._

"_I just thought that you might try to talk to this chick. After all, if she really is Alice's new BFF, you guys will see each other a lot from now on," he said, smiling_

"_No way," I said with a cold tone._

"_Come on, Cullen, I can see you dig on that chick," he said to me._

"_I don´t. Drop it, ok," I said, opening my bio book._

"_Sure man, but she sure is into you. She keeps looking at you like you are something to eat," Jasper said, laughing._

"_Shut up," I said, trying to get my focus back to my book._

"_She sure as well is some fine material," he said, looking back in the direction of the table where Alice and Bella were sitting._

"_Don´t you have band practice or something?" I asked, annoyed._

"_Maybe I do, maybe I don´t," he said, putting on his aviators._

"_You know this cryptic shit only works on chicks right?" I said to him._

"_You know what, Cullen, let's skip class," he said, getting up from the table and grabbing his bag from the floor._

"_To do what exactly, genious?" I asked, grabbing my backpack and my books._

"_What we always do dude..." he started to say._

"_The Arcade," we both said, running to the parking lot._

_After hours of arduous combat from Streer Fighter, we decided to take a break before doing the last battle to decide who was the supreme champion of the Arcade._

"_I can´t feel my fingers," Jasper complained, looking down at his hands._

"_And you say that I am the pussy," I laughed._

"_At least I tend to have some pussy from time to time," he said with sarcasm._

"_Really mature," I said._

"_Speaking of pussy, look who is coming, 5 o' clock," he said._

"_Who?" I said, turning around to see Alice and Bella walking in our direction._

_I could tell that voice anywhere._

"_I am not obssessed over Edward Cullen!" Bella shouted, making heads turn. She__ obviously didn't know I was behind her._

"_If you say so," Alice replied to her._

"_Yeah, I say so," Bella said, and I knew she was getting pissed._

"_Good, 'cause he is right behind you," Alice said, pointing at the game arcade, exactly where Jasper and I were._

_I knew she didn´t want to me to hear that conversation, by the look of fear in her eyes; I saw her entire body tense._

_That's all it took me to get the hell out of there._

_With one last look I grabbed Jasper. turned my back to her, and walked away._

"_But what about our death match, Edward?" Jasper said._

"_Fuck the game," I said, pushing my glasses and walking as fast as my uncoordinated feet allowed me._

***END OF EPOV FLASHBACK***

I walked down the hall that took me to my eternal punishment.

With my notebook full of sheets and my books, I kept looking down to make sure I wouldn´t have another accident like last week.

I wasn´t late, so I knew the class would be empty, giving me the silence and peace that I craved so much.

I walked down the aisle, not stoping to say hi to anyone, or even to look at any of the faces of the people that I should know, but didn´t.

My table was the last one, in the farthest corner, something that always brought me joy.

The supossed loneliness of the dark room gave me some sense of calm. That didn´t last long, 'cause when I arrived I saw a pair of blue feminine Vans against a wood stool.

The pair of feet went along with amazing pale, perfectly sculpted legs, that were adorned with short ripped denim shorts.

I couldn´t dare to look.

I knew it was her, I could smell her peach lip gloss and her floral perfume.

I stood there, frozen,staring at her blue Vans.

Like a fucking idiot.

I knew that after yesterday things would get even more weird. I just needed to find a way to avoid all this mess.

I grabbed my backpack and put it in front of me on the desk and sat on the wood stool.

The silence that I used to enjoy so much,ended up becoming excruciating.

I could feel the tension.

Her body was very still, her legs crossed, and her head was being supported by her right arm. Her long hair was the barrier separating us. I saw her Ipod on the table and a book open in front of her.

Taking the chance, I took my time to watch every detail that I had lost before.

She was wearing a Kings of Leon gray t-shirt and her hair was more wavy than the last time I saw her. She was wearing rings, her nails were perfect, with a purple color.

If I could make a perfect girl, Bella would be IT for me.

I wished I could know her better. So far I knew she liked shopping, Alice, music, and books.

And that she was not obssessed over me.

I wonder why the hell Alice would think such a stupidity.

Just the idea of Bella having a small interest in me was unthinkable.

I must have lost track of time, 'cause soon the class was in full swing and the speel was broken.

I did what I always did. Ignored her at all costs.

She didn´t need to see my stupid infatuation.

I was just another geek under the spell of a gorgeous woman.

But I knew my place, so as soon as our activities were over, I was out the room. I didn´t look back even once.

I knew my way to familiar territory, to where I belonged. Behind the double doors, under the darkness, was my world.

I turned on the lights, watching as the auditorium one more time came to life.

I walked in direction of the wooden stage, looking at every detail of this place.

This would be my last year here. A feeling of nostalgia suddenly came to me, making me want to play my favorite old songs.

Songs I hadn´t played in a while.

Songs that always brought me comfort.

I sat at my very used dark wood stool.

My hands touched the keyboard lightly.

Old hands on an old lover.

Eyes closed. Soft hands. Deep breaths.

The so familiar song was soon floating in the air.

**Somebody To Love - Queen**

_Can anybody find me somebody to love?_

_Each morning I get up I die a little  
Can barely stand on my feet  
(Take a look at yourself)Take a look in the mirror and cry  
Lord what you're doing to me  
I have to spend all my years in believing you  
But I just can't get no relief Lord  
Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?_

_I work hard (he works hard) everyday of my life  
I work till I ache my bones  
At the end (at the end of the day)  
I take home my hard earned pay all on my own  
I get down (down) on my knees (knees)  
And I start to pray (praise the Lord)  
'Til the tears run down from my eyes  
Lord somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (please)  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?  
(He wants help)_

_Every day (Every day) - I try and I try and I try -  
But everybody wants to put me down  
They say I'm goin' crazy  
They say I got a lot of water in my brain  
Got no common sense  
I got nobody left to believe  
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah  
Ooh_

_Somebody (somebody)  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?  
(Anybody find me someone to love)  
Got no feel I got no rhythm  
I just keep losing my beat (you just keep losing and losing)  
I'm OK I'm alright (he's alright, he's alright yeah yeah)  
I ain't gonna face no defeat  
I just gotta get out of this prison cell  
Some day I'm gonna be free Lord_

_Find me somebody to love find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love find me somebody to love  
Somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody  
Find me somebody find me somebody to love  
Can anybody find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love  
Find me find me find me  
Find me somebody to love_

_Somebody to love  
Find me somebody to love..._

After I sang the last line and played the last chord, I heard a lonely round of clapping.

I opened my eyes only to find a pair of chocolate brown ones staring back at me.

"Did you forget about our date, ?" she asked me with a smirk.

* * *

**A/N: So here we go! This week was terrible, those tests in college were killing my buzz, but I am glad to say they are over for now!**

**Hope you all enjoyed this little chap, and please, if you didn´t get the Star Wars reference, go see the freaking movie! They are all amazing!**

**Any geek lover would love this one!**

**Anyway, the sets are in my polyvore account, and please listen to the Queen song, it is beautiful!**

**Lots of love to the amazing **_**LeKat**_**, who makes my bizarre thoughts make sense to all of you!**

**Reviews are sweeter than a Robsten confirmation !**

**Xoxo**

**C.**


	5. Bad Romance

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, SM owns everything, including my ass. And Edward 'delicious' Cullen!**

**A/N: **_Ok people, college is a fucking bitch, and I hate it! I have too many tests, so I am not sure if I will be able to update as fast as I was doing. But wish me luck!_

_**All the sets are on my polyvore account on my profile!**  
_

_Enjoy!_

_

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**Chapter 5 – **** Bad Romance**

**BPOV**

I never thought I would want to go to freaking school as much as I do now.

Between trying to avoid my mother and her stupid attempts at trying to convince me to join a Ballet Company and my desire to see Edward, let's just say that I'd never taken off so fast for school.

Driving my Mini Cooper was always one of the best parts of my day.

Like most of the days, the sun was shining; the sky was blue, with small white clouds.

It seemed a perfect day.

I let the canopy down, letting the wind blow my long hair, and the heat warm my pale skin.

Soon I was in the empty parking lot, with lonely cars spread in various spots, and I realized that I didn't know much about all those people that crossed my way in the halls of Robert E Lee High School.

I looked for Alice's canary yellow New Beetle, but couldn't find it, so I decided to make my way down the halls and keep reading my copy of Mansfield Park, by Jane Austen.

My first class was Biology, which brought me joy and sorrow.

I would see Edward, sit next to him, breathe his fresh scent.

But would I still see the indifference in his eyes?

Would he still ignore my existence?

Did he think I was some kind of disgusting lower life form?

I was glad to find the room empty, dark, quiet.

I hated to have to make small talk.

I hated to try to pretend that I cared about all those people, because I didn't, they were nothing to me.

I could feel the anxiety taking over my body. My hands suddenly felt moist and were trembling.

I reached our table, at the back of the classroom, wondering if Edward liked it better when he didn't have a lab partner.

I reached to the stool next to the window, where I sat last time, but decided to sit on the one that used to belong to Edward. I must admit that I did that not because I liked his seat better, but because I knew he would have to pass through me to reach his seat, and that brought a small smile to my lips.

I grabbed my book from my bag, and my IPod, plugging in the small white headphones, and letting Van Morrison words surround me.

I didn't hear him.

But I felt him.

I knew he was the only one who would choose to come to class early, to avoid the mass of people in the halls, to be left alone.

I could feel his eyes burning on my skin.

I knew he at least found me attractive, 'cause I'd caught him staring at me more than once, but nothing like today.

I could feel his eyes running from my Vans to the top of my head.

I knew he appreciated me, so why didn't he talk to me?

Was I, in his eyes, the kind of girl to look at but not to touch?

I wish I could listen to his thoughts.

But I guess that he soon realized what he was doing, and sat on his stool.

There he was again, the frozen Edward, the one that ignored my existence.

He sat there, looking at his books, but I could see that he looked at me from the corner of his eyes.

Yet, still he pretended like I was never there.

And that shit had gotten old fast.

I was pissed. Who wouldn't be? I was his freaking lab partner after all. He should at least talk to me while we did our lab activities. But being the pain in the ass he was, he didn't. He did his part and I did mine. It was like he was on autopilot.

Mr. Banner kept talking, and I tried to listen, but I couldn't really focus on that. Edward was giving me whiplash.

_That was __until Mr. Banner mentioned a Bio project._

_I knew that was my chance to break through Edward Cullen._

_After all, if he wanted to pass Advanced Biology, he would have to work with me. All day long._

_Who knew school could be so much fun?_

Before I knew, the bell rang, and once again Edward was out the room before I could say anything to him.

What the hell was his problem?

I grabbed my stuff, and ran out of the room, trying to reach him, but the halls were full and I couldn't see him in the middle of the crowd.

Still I kept walking. It didn't matter where. I just needed to find him.

"Hey, B, wait for me!" I heard a tiny voice yelling at the back of my head.

"Bella, can't you just wait for a second?" I heard Alice shouting, and grabbing my elbow.

"Alice, I'm sorry but I don't have time to gossip right now," I said, walking on.

"What put your panties in a twist this early?" she asked, walking behind me.

"Your stupid cousin," I moaned.

"Who?" she asked, laughing.

"Edward, who else?" I asked, running my hands through my long hair.

"Honey, Eddie can be everything, except stupid," she said with a smile.

"Well his stupid ass flew out the room before I had a chance to talk to him about our project," I said, frustrated.

"What project?" she asked curiously.

"The one that if we don't present, we are fucked," I said with sarcasm.

"I am sure you guys will be brilliant," she said.

"It would be nice if we just made it, and how will I be able to do that, if I can't even find him? Stupid boy," I said, looking for tall messy boys.

"Duh, forget I am his cousin?" she said, smiling.

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Ally," I said to her.

"Besides, I am pretty sure I know where Edward is right now," she said, walking as fast as she could behind me.

"And where would this place be?" I asked, stopping in front of her.

"The Auditorium," she said.

"Why in Heaven's name would Edward be there?" I asked, shocked by the fact that I didn't know there was an Auditorium.

(**If there is anyone who actually goes to this school, and there is not an auditorium, I am sorry, but there will be one in my fic. Love for all the people from Jacksonville**)

"You shall see," she said, pointing to a double pair of doors at the end of the hall.

I thanked Alice, and apologized for being a bitch, and she being the lovely creature she was, let me go.

I crossed the hard double doors to find myself surround by music, a soft voice and piano chords.

In the middle of the golden and red, there he was, sitting at a dark piano bench.

His eyes were closed and his hands ran across the keyboard with passion and precision.

I could hear the melody of one of my favorite songs.

Somebody to Love, from Queen.

I didn't know what choked at me the most; if was Edward's voice, his playing, or the fact that he was singing a song about being alone and wanting there to be someone he could love from all his heart.

I could feel how much those words meant to him.

I could feel all his loneliness while he sang those words.

I stood there, in the middle of the auditorium, watching him pour his heart out with the song.

When it reached its end, I couldn't stop myself, I clapped.

The sound of my applause echoed through the empty room, making Edward open his eyes and look in the direction of the sound.

I did the only thing I could think of.

"Did you forget about our date, Mr. Cullen?" I asked him with a smirk on my lips.

His eyes were burning deep on mine.

I could see the confusion, the embarrassment of being caught in such a private moment, and soon his eyes turned to the cold ones that always looked at me.

"Excuse me?" Edward asked, getting up from his stool, looking confused.

"I am sorry, I don't think I ever had the chance to introduce myself, I am Isabella Swan," I told him.

"I know who you are," he said in a cold tone.

"Do you?" I asked, in challenge.

"So, Isabella, how can I help you?" he said, grabbing his backpack from the floor next to the piano.

"I am sorry to intrude, but your cousin told me I could find you here," I said, walking in his direction.

"Alice," he said to himself.

"Yes. You ran out of the room before I had the chance to talk to you," I said, trying to sound casual about it.

"Is there anything you actually want, Ms. Swan?" he said, in a formal tone, keeping his distance.

"We are supposed to deliver a Biology presentation together in a few weeks. I wanted to know when you want to start it," I said, trying to mach his coldness.

"A project?" he said, like he was surprised.

"Yeah, Mr. Banner spent half an hour discussing it, remember?" I said.

"Of course," was the only thing he replied.

"So, when do we start?" I asked.

"I am not sure, if that..." he started to say, and I knew where he was going. I would make this stop.

"Listen, Edward, I don't give a crap if you like me, but you will not ruin my grades. Do you understand me?" I asked in a firm tone.

"I would never do such a thing," he replied, looking down as he ran down the stairs.

"Glad we are on the same page here," I said with sarcasm.

"I suppose we should start soon then," he said, shaking his shoulders, never making eye contact.

"We should meet later then, discuss which topic we will address and things like that," I said, looking at the messy long hair covering his eyes.

"Sure," he said lowly.

"How about tomorrow? I go to your house," I said.

"I can't. Piano lessons," he said.

"The next day after that then," I said.

"Not sure, I need to check it, to make it sure, you know," he said, pushing his glasses back in place.

"I see," I said, starting to feel my cool slip.

"I will let you know," he said before turning and leaving me there.

I heard the sound of the doors opening and then closing.

I couldn't believe what had just happened.

Edward Cullen had totally blown me off.

But he would pay.

He didn't know me.

I always get what I want.

When I walked down the hall I saw Alice and Jasper leaning against a wall, talking, flirting, finally doing something about it.

"So, there is this party Friday," I heard Alice saying, while looking at her satin pink ballet flats.

"What about it, sugar?" Jasper asked, smiling.

"I was thinking about going," she said, holding her books close to her chest.

"Really?" he asked, playing Alice's game.

"Yeah. It's on the beach, and I love the beach," she said with a silly smile on her glossy lips.

"I bet you do," Jasper replied with a sexy smile.

"I was hoping to see you there," she finally said.

"Those kinds of parties are not my thing," he told her.

"Oh," I heard her say, clear disappointment in her voice.

"But just for you, I will make an exception," he said, touching her chin lightly.

"Really?" Alice asked, super excited.

"I even promise to bring that ancient cousin of yours," he said, looking in my direction.

"That would be so amazing, thanks so much, Jasper," I heard her saying.

"Anything for you," he said, before taking off.

"I see you've got a hot date for Friday night," I said, winking at her.

"Bella, he is so perfect," Alice said, sighing.

"I bet he is. But, Ally, remember what you said about helping me to get Edward to do the project?" I asked.

"Sure," she replied.

"I think I might need your help," I said.

* * *

Alice's directions and my GPS took me to Edward's place, at 3200 State Road 13 South  
Jacksonville, FL 32259. **(Yes, this place exists in Jacksonville, you can Google it if you like ( pic ****of Edward's home on polyvore)**

To say that I was shocked when I reached my destination was an understatement. I was freaking out.

He lived in some freaking mansion.

I knew he was loaded, 'cause Alice told me that Dr. Cullen was a very famous surgeon, but I didn't expect to find myself in front of The Cullen Mansion.

It was a beautiful, custom built St. John's riverfront home with Italian interior design detail.

It was one of the most beautiful homes I'd ever seen.

In front were three cars, a silver Volvo C30, a black Bentley, and a 2009 black Mercedes-Benz SUV.

I don't know why I was so surprised at the cars, when he had a home with its own dock.

I parked my Mini Cooper in the gateway, grabbing my bag and adjusting my clothes as I left the car.

I looked down at my shiny black flats, wondering if my skirt was too short, and if my white silk top was too revealing. I left those feeling aside—I didn't even know if he or his family were at home—and walked to the large wooden double doors.

I rang the bell and waited.

After what seemed like an eternity to me, a gorgeous woman opened the door. She had the same hair tone as Edward and the same deep green eyes. Her skin was very pale, and her make up was impeccable.

She was wearing a nude off-the-shoulder bandage dress with nude Christian Loubotin peep toes. She had on pearl earrings, necklace, and bracelet. On her ring finger was a pair of amazing rings: a platinum wedding band with diamonds, and a gigantic tear shaped diamond engagement ring. She was also holding a Birkin handbag. This could only mean one thing: this was Edward's mother. **(set on my polyvore account on my profile)**

"Can I help you?" she asked, while holding the door open.

"Mrs. Cullen, I am Isabella Swan, Edward's friend," I said.

"Edward's friend?" she said with a smile.

"Yes, we are lab partners, and he told me to come so we could start on our project together," I said, hoping she would believe me.

"Oh dear, Edward didn't say anything to me. But where are my manners, please come in," she said, opening the door, and letting me in.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen," I said, while walking through the door.

"Please, call me Esme, Mrs. Cullen is my mother-in-law," she said with a smile.

"Sure, Esme," I said, feeling a little embarrassed.

"So, I must say I am shocked. The only person that tends to look for my son is Jasper," she said, leading me into the living room.

The pale colors were very relaxing, the windows had an amazing view, and the room was luxurious yet very homely.

"Well I moved to town only a few weeks ago, if that makes you feel better," I said, smiling at her.

"Where were you originally from?" she asked with interest.

"Phoenix, Arizona. I lived there my whole life," I said.

"You moved because of your parents?" she asked.

"My stepfather got a good job here, so we moved," I told her.

"I see. Are you liking Jacksonville so far?" she asked.

"Yes, it has been very pleasant," I smiled.

"I am glad, and I hope to see more of you, dear," Esme said.

"I would like that too, Esme," I replied.

"I am sorry, but I was about to leave for an appointment. But Edward is upstairs," she said, getting up from the couch.

"That's ok, I don't want to interrupt," I said.

"I will show you the way," she said, walking to a set of stairs, leading to the second floor.

We walked, made small talk, and I was shocked to see what a pleasant woman Esme Cullen was.

"This door is Edward's room, I am sorry to have to leave like this," she said to me.

"It's really no problem," I replied.

"You should come some other time, I would love to talk some more. I enjoy talking to my son's friends," she said.

"I would love to," I said, hoping to be able to speak to her again.

"Well I must go. It was a pleasure, Isabella," she said.

"Just Bella. And the pleasure was mine," I said, watching as the mother of my dark desire walked down the stairs.

I contemplated if that was really what I wanted.

To put more pressure on him.

But this needed to be done.

I couldn't deal with his shit anymore.

Slowly, I opened the door of Edward's room, feeling once again like I was intruding in his life.

I could see the blinds of the windows were only half opened. The light green of his walls was covered with posters, of music bands, movies, comics. The floor was in a light tone of wood, and there were books, clothes, CDs, shoes, records, and papers spread all over it. Edward's bed was undone, the dark comforter was messy and the pillows fallen next to the dark wood bed. In a corner were a very expensive TV, Xbox, and a leather couch, with a dark rug under it. Close to one of the windows was a huge dark bookshelf; there were too many books, too many miniatures, and action figures.

He had an LP record next to his modern sound system.

And right next to it, there we was, with his really messy hair pointing in all directions, wearing plaid pajama pants and an old t-shirt with the most ugly pair of socks that I'd ever seen.

He was sitting at a very expensive computer, with headphones and a microphone connected to it, and he was shouting things that I didn't understand to someone.

I could see his fingers running fast on the keyboard while he pushed his glasses back in place, something that he tended to do a lot.

I could see the huge computer screen, and the characters running from one side to another, in what seemed to me like a huge battle.

I knew this game, Angie's brother, Kevin used to play all the time.

It was **World of Warcraft.**

(**if you play, don't scream at me, my brother does, and that's how I know it**)

I could see how tense he was. He seemed so focused on the game, arguing what was better, and shouting at the other players.

I knew that Edward was the geek type, but all of this, it was a whole new level of geekness.

But I couldn't resist. I needed to feel his skin, even if it was only this once.

I walked behind him, making sure not to make a single noise, and put my hands on his tense shoulders.

I started to massage them, making him loosen a little bit, until he must have realized he didn't know who it was, and tensed all over again.

"You didn't call me, Edward, and I was tired of waiting," I took his head phones out, and whispered in his ear.

"Bella," he whispered.

"So why don't you be a nice little boy, shut down the so important game, and come chat with me?" I said, leaving him, and sitting on the edge of his bed.

He slowly moved, telling his group mates that he was out, and shutting his computer.

He turned around on his leather chair and looked at me with those big eyes, choked to find me sitting on his bed.

"Bella, I didn't know you were coming," he said, running a hand through his bed hair.

"You didn't call, so I asked Alice for directions, and here I am," I said, smiling.

"I see," he said, starting to grab some dirty clothes from the floor.

"So, have you thought about our project?" I asked him, getting up from his bed.

"Actually, yeah. I was thinking about sending you an email with your part so we could start," he said, looking down.

"I see," I said, looking around his room.

"It seemed like the smart thing to do," he said, watching as I walked through his room.

I stopped in front of a miniature of a character that I'd feared when I was a kid.

"Luke, I am your father," I said, trying to mock the metallic voice of Darth Vader while touching the miniature little arms.

"Careful with it," he said, taking the small object from my hand.

"I see this is 'your Precious', hmm?" I said, watching him put the miniature in its original place.

"This is a very rare collector's item," he said.

"Boring," I said.

"I am glad my world amuses you," he replied with sarcasm, sitting on his bed.

"You have no idea," I said, walking in his direction. That seemed to make him nervous, 'cause he ended up falling flat on his ass on the floor.

"So, is there anything else I can do for you?" he said, crossing his arms against his chest.

"Actually, yes, there is," I said, staying close to him, but without breaking his personal space.

"What?" he asked.

"It's more like a favor," I said.

"What kind of favor?" he asked with suspicion.

"Alice is making me go with her to this stupid beach party, and Jasper is also going," I started to say.

"He mentioned it," he said, looking at me for the first time today.

"I want you to go too," I said.

"What?" he asked, shocked.

"Alice and Jasper will so end up hooking up, and I don't want to be the third wheel," I said.

"And you want me to go and give you company?" he asked.

"Pretty much, yes," I said.

"Why not ask another person, like Mike or Tyler?" he asked, in a depressed tone.

"Because I want you, not them," I told him, and I could see the sparkle in his eyes.

"I don't know," he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"It will be fun, I promise. Please?" I said, making my best begging face.

"Ok. I might make a quick appearance."

* * *

Friday night didn't come fast enough for me.

Alice and I ended up having a girlie afternoon and getting ready at her place, at my insistence, and for an obvious reason. I didn't want her to see my third floor. At least not yet.

Alice focused on her, her desires, her aspirations, and her family.

It was nice to hear about a family that wasn't fucked up. She was the only child; her mom was a Therapist and her dad a Lawyer.

She told me how great it was to grow up with Edward, and his older brother, Emmett. After every single detail she told me, I felt like I knew a little bit more of Edward.

And I liked it.

We rode in Alice's car, since she had picked me up at my home, and I was staying over, for obvious reasons.

I told her that I was always fighting with my mom, and that I had a little sister, and a protective stepfather. So coming home in the middle of dawn, drunk, was not a smart idea.

She didn't ask much about Phoenix, and I was glad. I wasn't ready yet.

When we reached the beach, there were too many cars and too many drunk people already.

I tried to search for a certain silver Volvo, but couldn't find it, fearing that he might not come after all.

In the middle of the beach there was a huge fire, and many people close to it.

It was another hot and humid night, and while most people were only in bathing suits, I wasn't comfortable around them, so I chose a more conservative set: a mini denim skirt, a tee, and high top sneakers. So what if I didn't like showing my feet?

Alice had gone over board, wearing an Alexander McQueen bustier dress and flat sandals, looking fabulous. Only Alice would sit in the wet dirty sand in a 2,000 dollar dress.

The music was blasting, making it hard for me to hear what Alice was talking about, and we drank and danced to the sound of Lady Gaga.

When I couldn't find Jasper and Edward in the middle of the crowd, I admit, I was pissed and disappointed. But that was their loss. And I would have a great night with my girl.

**Lady Gaga – Bad Romance**

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!  
Caught in a bad romance_

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!  
Caught in a bad romance_

_Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!  
Roma-roma-ma!  
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!  
Want your bad romance_

_Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!  
Roma-roma-ma!  
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!  
Want your bad romance_

_I want your ugly  
I want your disease  
I want your everything  
As long as it's free  
I want your love  
(Love-love-love I want your love)_

_I want your drama  
The touch of your hand  
I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand  
And I want your love  
Love-love-love  
I want your love  
(Love-love-love I want your love)_

_You know that I want you  
And you know that I need you  
I want your bad, your bad romance_

_I want your love and  
I want your revenge  
You and me could write a bad romance  
(Oh-oh-oh-oooh!)  
I want your love and  
All your love is revenge  
You and me could write a bad romance_

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!  
Caught in a bad romance_

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!  
Caught in a bad romance_

_Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!  
Roma-roma-ma!  
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!  
Want your bad romance_

_I want your horror  
I want your design  
'Cause you're a criminal  
As long as your mine  
I want your love  
Love-love-love  
I want your love_

_I want your psycho  
Your vertical stick  
Want you in my room  
When your baby is sick  
I want your love  
Love-love-love  
I want your love  
(Love-love-love I want your love)_

_You know that I want you  
('Cause I'm a freak bitch baby!)  
And you know that I need you  
I want your bad, your bad romance_

_I want your love and  
I want your revenge  
You and me could write a bad romance  
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!)  
I want your love and  
All your love is revenge  
You and me could write a bad romance_

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!  
Caught in a bad romance_

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!  
Caught in a bad romance_

_Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!  
Roma-roma-ma!  
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!  
Want your bad romance_

_Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!  
Roma-roma-ma!  
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!  
Want your bad romance_

_Walk walk fashion baby  
Work it  
Move that bitch crazy_

_Walk walk fashion baby  
Work it  
Move that bitch crazy_

_Walk walk fashion baby  
Work it  
Move that bitch crazy_

_Walk walk passion baby  
Work it  
I'm a freak bitch baby_

_I want your love  
And I want your revenge  
I want your love  
I don't wanna be friends_

_J'veux ton amour  
Et je veux ton revenge  
J'veux ton amour  
I don't wanna be friends  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
I don't wanna be friends  
Caught in a bad romance  
I don't wanna be friends  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
Want your bad romance  
Caught in a bad romance  
Want your bad romance!_

_I want your love and  
I want your revenge  
You and me could write a bad romance  
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
I want your love and  
All your love is revenge  
You and me could write a bad romance_

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
Want your bad romance  
Caught in a bad romance  
Want your bad romance_

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!  
Want your bad romance  
Caught in a bad romance_

_Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!  
Roma-roma-ma!  
Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!  
Want your bad romance_

We sang, we danced, we had fun.

I could see in Alice the hurt of Jasper's rejection. It was a big deal for her to open up and invite him, and he let her down.

In that moment all I wanted was to kick his ass back to Texas.

But being the nice girl I was, I decided to try to distract Alice, so she wouldn't have her night ruined.

"Alice, Truth or Dare. Are you in?" I heard Mike Newton asking her.

"I don't know, what do you think, B?" she asked me.

"What the hell. Let's do it," I said, grabbing Alice's hand in my own.

We sat in a circle in the sand.

There was me, Alice, Mike, Jessica, Tyler, Lauren, Eric, Dean, Sarah, Lilah, Sam, and Kyle.

Mike was about to spin the bottle when a rough voice interrupted him.

"Is there a place for two more?" I heard a familiar accent asking.

"No," Mike said.

"Yes!" Alice shouted.

"Guess I will hear the lady then," Jasper said, sitting next to Alice, while Edward sat next to him.

"Whatever," Mike said, taking another sip of his beer.

Mike spun the bottle, making it stop in front of Lauren.

"Lauren, truth or dare?" Mike asked.

"Dare," she replied, trying to sound sexy.

"I dare you to give me a lap dance," he said, receiving a high five from his friends.

"That's against the rules stupid, you can't make someone do a dare about yourself," I told him, annoyed.

"Fine then, smart pants. Give Bella a lap dance," he said with a smirk.

"Hell no!" I shouted.

"Rules are rules, B" Alice said, laughing.

"Fuck it," I said, closing my eyes while Lauren rubbed her crouch against my thighs.

"Hell yeah, baby!" I heard someone shouting.

"Ok, time's up," I said, pushing Lauren away from me, thinking she had liked it too much for my taste.

It was Lauren turn; she got Jessica, and made her take off her bra.

Things went like that, stupid and horny things were suggested, 'til Jasper asked Alice to sing and dance a country song.

Seeing Alice trying to impress Jasper with her dance, but falling flat on her ass, was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. But I could see the look in her eyes.

She would make me pay for laughing.

And because the universe is a mother fucker, she spun, and the damn bottle ended up on me.

I could see her Machiavellian mind working.

Her eyes soon left mine to rest on another person.

Oh no.

She wouldn't dare.

"So Bella, truth or dare?" she asked with a smirk.

She could make me tell one of my dark secrets or make me do something I might regret later.

I knew which one I couldn't bear to do.

So I chose.

"Dare," I said, hoping she wouldn't make me do something that might make me want to kick her ass later.

"I dare you to kiss Edward," she said with a big smile on her face.

"Alice," I said, shocked.

I looked at Edward. His head was down, and he looked like he was going to be sick.

I didn't want it to be like this.

Our first kiss.

But the mere thought of having his lips against mine, was enough to change my mind. I would do whatever it took to have him.

"Yeah, Bella, rules are rules," Jasper said, laughing.

"Fine," I said, getting up from my place and sitting in front of Edward.

He was still looking down, his hands tightly closed fists.

I could see he didn't want this.

"Edward," I said, making him look at me. "It's ok," I said, slowly moving my lips toward his.

The first touch was gentle, sending a current of fire through my entire body, making me ache.

I felt his breathing get deeper.

And I couldn't stop. I pressed my lips harder against his, my hands on his messy long hair.

Finally he responded to my touch, his hands on my waist, his dry lips lightly parting.

Soon my tongue was pressed against his, and I swear I heard him moan. I wanted to get closer.

Deeper.

I wanted to crawl on his lap and ravage him in the sand.

Every particle of my body was aching for him, for his touch, to feel him.

My head was spinning and my breath was rough.

"That's enough, Cullen," I heard Mike's annoyed voice say.

My lips left his.

My hands left his skin.

But my eyes kept looking at his.

Melting brown in green.

Soon his eyes were back to the sand and I was back in my place.

I still couldn't believe what I had felt.

It was the most incredible thing in the world.

That was until Michael Newton fucked it.

"Alice, I dare you to kiss Bella. And don't forget, rules are rules," he said, winking at me.

"I guess," Alice said, turning around to face me.

Her sweet glossy lips met mine.

It was soft, gentle, a small caress.

Her tongue was in my mouth, and softly stroked my own while her hand was on my face.

Her sweet kiss ended as fast as it began.

She gave me one last peck and said "You better have enjoyed it; because that's the last time my tongue will touch yours."

We all laughed. It was not like I had never kissed a girl before, but it was nice to know that Alice and I were already close enough to joke about it.

"I should never have come here, this was a mistake," I heard Edward saying, before jumping from his seat and taking off.

"Dude, what the hell?" Jasper asked, shouting after him.

"Edward!" I yelled, getting up and running after him.

"Edward, stop," I said, grabbing his arm.

I never wanted to see that look in those deep green eyes.

He looked…hurt.

"What is going on? I don't understand why you are so upset," I said, trying to make him stay with us.

"You just don't get it, do you?" he said, looking pissed.

"Get what?" I asked, frustrated.

"Never mind. Just leave me alone!" he shouted with a mixture of anger and hurt, and walked away from me.

"Edward!" I shouted one last time.

Didn't he feel what I did?

The sparks.

The fire.

Maybe that was all that we would ever have.

Just a bad romance.

* * *

**A/N**: _Ok, I wrote this in like 4 hours, and ended up not studying for my test tomorrow!_

_That's not good, but I had to write and give your guys this. You all deserve it._

_Hope you all enjoyed, 'cause I don't know if I will be able to post again this week, I will have tests till May 8__th__._

_Yes, college is fucking up with me, but I promise to write as much as I can._

_Love you all, send me your love and thoughts!_

_Reviews rock my world!_

_Let's also send our love to __**LeKat**__ for sticking up with us, and being the best beta ever!_

_Love,_

_C._


	6. All I Wanted Was You

**Disclaimer**: Stephenie Meyer owns everything,I own only a dirty mind and lots of Eddie dreams.

**A/N:** And I am back!It´s been too long and I am so sorry that I let this story go so far without updates,I know its been almost 9 months!I wanna thank every person that show me it love for this story! You guys inspireded me! I promise for now on to update every week!

Yvonne, this is for you girl!

* * *

**Chapter 6 – All I Wanted Was You**

**JPOV**

When I moved from Texas to Florida I thought it was the end for me. I had lived in Houston all my life; my best friends were my cousins, and I had my band and my girlfriend. My life seemed perfect, 'till one day my old man came with news: we were moving to Jacksonville.

To some people, moving to hot and humid Florida was a dream come true, my mother was really excited about it, but to a 16 year old it's the end of the world. It's pretty tough to be taken away from all you know.

At the time I thought that I would be the most miserable man that ever existed. That summer I left my home, my family, my friends, and the woman I thought one day I was going to marry. Maria and I had been together for almost two years; she was the first girl I ever kissed and I thought she would be the last. But I was wrong. Apparently a long distance relationship wasn´t what she was looking for, well that was what I assumed when I went back to surprise her and found her with my ex best friend Peter. I guess that is one of the many reasons I don´t miss Texas anymore.

It's really weird to think that I never had a real friend that I wasn't related to, until I met Edward. I remember being pissed, sitting under a tree when this weird geek dude said I was sitting under _his _tree. I mean, who the hell has their own tree?

That was how Eddie boy became my best friend.

I could have tried to kick his ass, but his awkward way remind me too much of my little cousin Seth. I have a big family, so what?

So, since that day Edward and I have had each other's backs and I saw every day as my friend got himself deeper inside of his shell. So that's one of the many reasons I knew Isabella Swan was about to change everything, for good.

Since the day she arrived, things have seemed to get harder for Edward, and no matter how much he denied it, I knew he was head over heels for that chick. She was hot; I could see why he got all nervous around her, besides that the damn boy seemed to be allergic to vaginas, since he always kept his distance from the female sex.

But I knew he had the hots over the chick, so like the amazing best friend that I am, I found myself on my bike, on my way to Eddie boy's house to put some sense through his thick skull. Sweet Alice had asked so nicely for me to bring her antisocial cousin to the party at the beach. Who was I to disappoint such a lovely lady, such a hot little insane lady?

The humid air of Florida touched my face, since I decided to open my helmet, and the trail of tall trees made the road seem longer and more elegant. Soon I saw the big iron gates that held my destination. I parked the Ducati at the front of the house's big entrance. No matter how many times I'd been here over the years, it always amazed me.

As soon as I got off the bike, and took off my helmet, I ran my fingers through my hair, all messy from the ride, trying to look more presentable for Mrs. C. Oh yeah baby, that's right, Edward's momma was hot, and I let him know that every chance I got. I knocked on the dark wood doors, hoping to meet those big green eyes, but instead I met the hard blue ones that reminded me too much of Grandpa Whitlock for my taste.

"Hello, Mr. Cullen," I said, trying to be polite.

"Jasper, again," said Carlisle in a harsh tone.

"The only one, Sir," I said, smiling, hoping to make the old man less cranky.

"Should I prepare a room so you can move into my house, since you are here more than I am?" he asked with sarcasm.

"That's a good one, Sir," I said, trying to make conversation.

"In case you're here to see my son, he's in his room, but don´t take long, he has very important piano lessons in an hour," Carlisle said, looking at his very expensive watch.

"Don´t worry sir, I won´t take long," I said.

"Very well then, goodbye, Jasper," he said rudely, walking to his black Bentley.

I walked through those very familiar halls, up the stairs, stopping only to say hi to Mrs. Cooper, their old housekeeper. Edward´s room's door was closed as usual, and I went in without knocking, like I always did.

"You better not be jerking off thinking about Bambi, 'cause I am walking in," I said while opening the door.

"Do you have no sense of privacy?" said Edward. He was lying down on his leather couch with his composition notebook.

"Do you have no sense of fashion, what the fuck are you wearing?" I said, looking at his PJ's and socks.

"What are you, my mother?" Edward asked, looking annoyed.

"Just someone who worries if you will ever get laid," I said while sitting on his desk chair.

"There are other things in life besides sex," Edward said, not looking up from his notebook.

"Like what? Writing melancholy songs about your undeniable love for Bambi?" I asked, spinning on his chair.

"I am not in love and who the hell is Bambi?" he asked.

"Bella! Who else has those big, scary, sad brown eyes?" I said with a smirk.

"Fuck you," he said from the couch.

"No thanks babe, maybe later," I said, and Eddie decided to throw me a dirty sock over this little comment.

"Gross," I said, taking the dirty sock from my shoulder, where it had landed.

"Pussy," Edward said while laughing at me.

"And that's exactly what I came here to talk about," I said, getting up from his desk chair.

"Jasper, I already said I am not into strippers," he replied.

"Well then you'll be pleased that this time it has nothing to do with erotic dancers," I said, taking his notebook from him.

"Give it back you asshole," Edward said, getting up from the couch.

"I will as soon as you agree with my proposal," I said, dodging him and jumping on his bed.

"Get off my bed, your boots will ruin it!" Edward shouted, trying to make me get down.

"Fine, I will after you agree to take your white skinny ass to a party on Friday," I said.

"Did you lose your mind? You know I don´t go to those shitty parties," Edward said, jumping after me.

"True, but this time we've both got a good reason for attending it," I said.

"Like what?" he asked.

"The lovely Alice and your dear Bambi," I said.

"Can you just stop calling Bella fucking Bambi?" he said, almost taking the notebook from my hands.

"Fine, I will stop calling your little girlfriend that, but you've got to promise to come with me," I said, jumping off the bed.

"So that I can be humiliated a little bit more? No thanks, I am not a masochist," he said.

"Come on dude, I promised Alice I would bring you with me," I said.

"I don´t know why you want me with you, I would just be a third wheel," he said, sitting on the bed.

"Don´t make me pull the guilt card on you," I said, trying not to mention the whole dark secret shit.

"My mom is gonna kill me," Eddie said, looking at his dirty covers.

"So what do you say, Eduardo?" I said, handing him his precious leather notebook.

"I will think about it," he said, walking to his computer.

"I guess that's my cue to leave, but don´t forget it man. Friday night," I said, before taking off.

**EPOV**

After Jasper left I sat there frozen, just thinking about how much Isabella Swan had gotten into the middle of my life in so little time. How could such a small person be so infuriating?

In the middle of my confusion I forgot about my piano lessons, only to be reminded by a phone call from a very angry , who'd been left hanging while I got lost in a mass of Bella. Lucky for me he bought my "I am not feeling so good" excuse, since I had never missed a lesson since I was six years old. This girl had barely come into my life and she was already messing with it; that was exactly why I didn´t try to interact with people, they would take me away from my main goal: Juilliard.

Suddenly I wasn´t in the mood to practice or to write anymore. Since I would have the rest of afternoon free I decided to relax a little bit, and to enjoy the company of my game friends. I turned on my computer, plugged in my headphone and microphone, and started to play WOW. The time seemed to flow in the middle of the battles. I was the leader of my group so I had to stay alert and keep giving instructions to the rest of the members. I may have not been the most polite and calm leader ever seen on World of Warcraft.

With the music and screams from the other players shouting in my ears I couldn´t hear anything outside the game, the tension was high, we were at a crucial part of our mission. So when I felt the soft massage on my shoulders the little touch felt heavenly for a few seconds, but soon I tensed when I realized that someone was touching me without my permission.

I felt soft hands removing my headphones and a sweet aroma of peaches in the air, and someone softly whispering in my ears.

"You didn't call me, Edward, and I was tired of waiting." I knew this voice. How did she get in here?

"Bella," I whispered.

"So why don't you be a nice little boy, shut down the so important game, and come chat with me?" she said, walking back and sitting on the edge my bed. Fucking Bella Swan was in my bed.

I could feel the sweat on my hands, my heart was beating faster, and things seemed to move slower than normal. She always seemed to have this effect on me. I slowly turned back to my crew and told them I was off the game, and shut down my computer. I slowly turned my leather desk chair in her direction, trying to get my breathing back to normal, but the sight of her on my bed made my stomach turn all over again.

"Bella, I didn't know you were coming," I said, running a hand through my hair that seemed to be crazier than normal.

"You didn't call, so I asked Alice for directions, and here I am," she said with a huge smile on her pink lips.

"I see," I said, not knowing what to do next. So I started to grab some dirty clothes from the floor, for some reason wondering if she thought my room was too messy.

"So, have you thought about our project?" she asked me, getting up from the bed.

"Actually, yeah. I was thinking about sending you an email with your part so we could start," I said, looking down.

"I see," she said, looking around the room.

"It seemed like the smart thing to do," I said, watching as Bella walked through my room.

She stopped in front of my bookcase, inspecting my books, and of course she had to touch my precious stuff.

"Luke, I am your father," she said, trying to mock the metallic voice of Darth Vader while touching the miniature little arms, making me freeze. It was, after all, a five grand collector's item, very rare I proudly say.

"Careful with it," I said, taking the priceless Darth Vader miniature from her hands.

"I see this is 'your Precious', hmm?" she said in a mocking tone while I guarded the miniature in its original place.

"This is a very rare collector's item," I told her.

"Boring," she said with sarcasm.

"I am glad my world amuses you," I replied, sitting on my bed, trying to get control of the situation.

"You have no idea," she said, walking in my direction, and suddenly it was like my center of balance disappeared completely, and I found myself facing the wood floor.

"So, is there anything else I can do for you?" I said, getting up from the floor and crossing my arms against my chest, trying to hide my mortification.

"Actually, yes, there is," she said, staying too close to my body, but without breaking my personal space.

"What?" I asked.

"It's more like a favor," she said with a devil's grin.

"What kind of favor?" I asked with suspicion.

"Alice is making me go with her to this stupid beach party, and Jasper is also going," she started to say and I knew what was coming next.

"He mentioned it," I said, looking at her, trying to understand what was in it for her.

"I want you to go too," she said.

"What?" I asked, shocked, wondering what kind of sick joke this was.

"Alice and Jasper will so end up hooking up, and I don't want to be the third wheel," she said, touching her hair sensually.

"And you want me to go and give you company?" I asked, trying to follow her reasoning.

"Pretty much, yes," she said.

"Why not ask another person, like Mike or Tyler?" I asked in a depressed tone. I didn't want to be a part of any sick little game of the popular crowd.

"Because I want you, not them," she told me, and I could feel my heart in my mouth. If that wasn't an anxiety attack I don´t know what it was.

"I don't know," I said, scratching the back of my neck, feeling very uncomfortable.

"It will be fun, I promise. Please?" she said, pouting those delicious pink lips, and I felt like I couldn´t breathe.

"Ok. I might make a quick appearance," I said, wondering what the fuck I should do now.

After an insane phone call with Jasper and some shouting at him for making this stupid promise, we found ourselves in the beach parking lot. I came driving my Volvo since Jazz always tends to drink too much at those parties. Not that I actually attend them, but it's always better be safe than sorry.

The beach was crowded with the same faceless people that I'd tried to avoid every day in the past few years. And I wondered if God had something against me, to put me in such a terrible position, because it's one thing to be bullied at school, another to keep being bullied outside it.

The white sand was covered with too many empty beers bottles and red plastic cups. There were too many PDA's and too many people. It was definitely not my kind of thing.

Jasper was greeting people when I saw her.

She was dancing, singing, all free and wild.

She looked amazing, her hair flying with the wind, her skin shining from the light of the bonfire. She looked like a Celtic goodness. I could see her and Alice dancing to the sound of some famous pop song, but none of this mattered, only her smile. Suddenly I felt like a stalker, which wasn't far from the truth, and the sound of Jasper shouting my name brought me back to the reality. The one where I didn't belong with people like her.

"Hey man, now that your emo moment is over, let's go find the girls," Jasper said.

"Why, am I your friend again?" I asked, only to be answered by him flipping the bird at me.

We found them sitting in a circle with the rest of the popular crowd of Robert E Lee High School and of course my favorite person in the entire world: Mike Fucking Newton.

The asshole was about to spin a bottle. That meant only one thing, freaking Truth or Dare. Couldn´t they be any more creative than that?

"Is there a place for two more?" Jasper asked, smiling at my cousin, using all of his southern charm.

"No," Mike said. What a freaking jerk.

"Yes!" Alice shouted, super excited.

"Guess I will hear the lady then," Jasper said, sitting next to Alice, and trying not to make things worse, I sat next him.

"Whatever," Mike said, taking another sip of his beer. What a charmer.

Mike spun the bottle, making it stop in front of Lauren.

"Lauren, truth or dare?" Mike asked.

"Dare," she replied, trying to sound sexy, only to look cheaper than she already looked.

"I dare you to give me a lap dance," he said, receiving a high five from his friends.

"That's against the rules stupid, you can't make someone do a dare about yourself," Bella told him, annoyed.

"Fine then, smart pants. Give Bella a lap dance," he said with a smirk.

"Hell no!" she shouted back.

"Rules are rules, B," Alice said, laughing. The little pixie was evil.

"Fuck it," Bella said, while Lauren rubbed her crotch against her thighs. I knew this kind of thing should turn on any seventeen-year-old male, but it almost made me puke a little in my mouth.

"Hell yeah, baby!" someone shouted at the sight.

"Ok, time's up," Bella said, pushing Lauren away from her.

Things went like that, ridiculous and horny things were suggested, which bored me to death 'till Jasper asked Alice to sing and dance a country song.

I knew that even if my cousin was a cheerleader, she would never be able to dance a country song. So to see Alice trying to impress Jasper, but falling flat on her ass, was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. The little pixie deserved it with the stunt she'd pulled with Bella.

It was Alice´s turn to spin the bottle and it ended up pointing at Bella. For a second I saw the exchanged glances of the two girls, and I knew that something bad was going to happen.

Alice then smiled and looked right at me. Oh Fuck. She wouldn´t dare, would she?

"So Bella, truth or dare?" she asked with a smirk.

I could feel the tension in the air. And I prayed for her to choose truth.

"Dare," she said, making me curse under my breath.

"I dare you to kiss Edward," she said with a big smile on her face. And all I wanted was for the floor to open under my feet. Why the fuck would Alice do this to me?

"Alice," Bella said, shocked, and I knew she was disgusted just by the thought of kissing me.

I could feel her eyes burning on my skin. I knew if I came today this shit was going to happen. I let my head down, trying to control my breathing, trying to figure out a way to back off the game.

This was so fucked up. Just like when I was fourteen and had too much acne and braces, at the birthday party of Eric Yorkie. They decided that we should play '7 minutes in Heaven' 'cause all the cool kids were playing it at the time. That led me to walk in a dark closet with too much dust and not much space, with the angelic Angela Weber, the daughter of the Reverend. If you think I am shy now, you have no idea how I was back then, especially since not so sweet Angela shoved her tongue down my throat and her iron braces cut my lip. Oh yeah, that was my first and only kiss. So fucking special right. When the Reverend found out about the whole game, let's just say that I never had the guts to go back to the church ever again.

I never wanted to repeat that experience ever again.

But just the thought of touching her skin, to feel her sweet breath, the taste of her sweet lips. It would be heaven in hell.

"Yeah, Bella, rules are rules," Jasper said, laughing, bringing me back to the situation.

"Fine," I heard her saying, getting up from her place and sitting in front of me. God she was beautiful.

I had dreamed of this moment, fantasized it so many times, but never had it included a crowd of people that made my life Hell around us in those fantasies.

"Edward," she said, making me look at her chocolate brown eyes. "It's ok," she said, slowly moving her soft lips toward my own.

The first touch was gentle, sending a current of fire through my entire body, making me ache.

My breathing got deeper and I felt my cock starting to wake up.

And I couldn't stop. She pressed her lips harder against mine; her hands were all over my hair, while mine rested on her waist.

My lips felt dry.

My hands were trembling.

I was hard.

Her body was pressed so hard against my body, and I had to hold back a deep moan when she pressed her hips against my own. Never had I desired anything more in my life. Never had I felt such a passion before.

She tasted sweet, soft and perfect.

In that moment I felt like life couldn´t get any better. Like she belonged in my arms. For one second life was perfect.

And just in that moment I could admit to myself what was so obvious: I was in love with Bella Swan. She was everything to me.

And maybe, just maybe, she might feel the same for me.

"That's enough, Cullen," I heard Mike's annoyed voice say, breaking the magic spell I was under.

My lips left hers.

Her hands left my skin.

But her eyes kept looking at me.

I knew it was there, the fire, she must have felt it too.

But who was I to dream something like that?

My eyes were back to the sand and she was back in her place.

Away from me.

I was so deep down in my own thought that I missed the next few plays, until Mike decided to ruin everything.

"Alice, I dare you to kiss Bella. And don't forget, rules are rules," he said, winking at her.

"I guess," Alice said, turning around to face Bella.

I couldn´t fucking believe it.

She was kissing Alice.

My cousin.

With the same passion that she seemed to have kissed me with.

What the fuck?

Didn't it mean anything to her?

Did she always play with others emotions like that?

What kind of sick fucker did that?

Alice gave her one last peck and said "You better have enjoyed it; because that's the last time my tongue will touch yours."

They all laughed.

To all of them this was nothing more than a fucking game. I just couldn´t believe that for one fucking second I'd believed that Bella could have felt the same as I did. What a fucking joke.

"I should never have come here, this was a mistake," I said, jumping from my seat, not caring anymore what could happen.

I just had to get away from here. From them. From her.

"Dude, what the hell?" Jasper asked, shouting after me.

"Edward!" I heard her voice calling my name, but I was done with her little games. I was done with her.

"Edward, stop," Bella said, grabbing my arm.

I didn't want to feel her skin against my own anymore. I didn´t want to feel anything anymore.

"What is going on? I don't understand why you're so upset," she said to me, clearly not getting what the problem was.

"You just don't get it, do you?" I shouted at her.

"Get what?" she asked, frustrated, her arms around her in a protective pose.

"Never mind. Just leave me alone!" I shouted, walking away from her.

"Edward!" she screamed one last time.

All I wanted was to get away from there.

I soon found my car, not caring if Jasper would lose his ride, I just needed to get out.

I opened the door and turned on the car, going in high speed, trying to escape from all of the things that killed me inside.

The only sound was the sweet lyrics of Paramore echoing inside the Volvo.

All I wanted was her.

And now, all I wanted was to be empty, to be like she never existed.

**_All I Wanted - Paramore_**

___Think of me when you're out__  
__When you're out there__  
__I'll beg you nice from my knees__  
__And when the world treats you way too fairly__  
__Well, it's a shame I'm a dream_

_All I wanted was you__  
__All I wanted was you_

_I think I'll pace my apartment a few times__  
__And fall asleep on the couch__  
__And wake up early to black and white reruns__  
__That escape from my mouth_

_All I wanted was you__  
__All I wanted was you__  
__All I wanted was you__  
__All I wanted was you_

_I could follow you to the beginning__  
__Just to relive the start__  
__Maybe then we'd remember to slow down__  
__At all of our favorite parts_

_All I wanted was you__  
__All I wanted was you__  
__All I wanted was you__  
__All I wanted was you__  
__All I wanted was you_

**_A/N: Hope you all had enjoyed this! More to come soon!Let me a review and tell me what you think =]_**

**_xoxo_**

**_C._**


	7. Luv

**Chapter 7 – Luv**

**Disclaimer:** SM owns everything!

**A/N:** Thanks so much for all the support that this story has been receiving! I keep writing for you guys!

_Sharleen__ and Amy_, this is for you girls!

* * *

**EPOV**

The loud sound mix of bass, guitar, and drums was the only sound inside my car through the fourth five minutes drive from the beach to my house (Google told me so). I couldn´t stop thinking about what had just happened. How could she do this to me? How could I let myself get involved in her twisted games? I should've known better.

I parked my car in the drive, not caring right now if my dad was going to be pissed about it in the morning, or what could happen to my precious Volvo, I was too tired . I slowly opened the double wood doors, locking them as soon as I entered. All the lights were off which meant my parents were in bed already. That was good since I couldn´t bear the idea of being questioned about my life right now.

I went up the stairs in the dark, knowing my house well enough to not fall flat on my ass with the lights off. I slowly opened my bedroom door and then removed my Converses. I took off my socks and let my body fall down on my bed. I felt fucking exhausted.

I laid there, unmoving, looking at my ceiling which still had small fluorescent dinosaurs figures glued on it. Time passed, it could have been minutes or even hours, and I felt like my entire body went numb. Suddenly the silence and the emptiness felt excruciating and once again I found myself trying to breathe.

I ran my hands over my face, trying to figure out this mess, but the more I tried the angrier I got at her. I really didn´t like being played like I was a fucking puppet. Feeling agitated I got up from my bed, the same bed she had been on just a few days before. How dare she taint my holy space like that?

Feeling like a madman I threw my green comforter, my pillows and my notes that were over my nightstand on the floor. I felt like an idiot. I just needed it to stop. This ache.

In the middle of the mess I found my leather notebook; the one I wrote many of my compositions in. There lay a song I had started a couple of days ago; she had inspired it, what a fucking idiot I was. How could I have really thought she would feel the same for me? That one day I would show her this piece? I ripped the page from my notebook—it didn't deserve to be in it—smashing it and throwing it on the floor with the rest of my things.

I lay down on my leather couch, trying to hold down this anger inside of me, that wasn´t me; I was not a violent or angry person. I was torn between frustration and madness. Feeling impotent about the entire situation, I did the only thing that always seemed to calm me: I went down to the music room.

I sat down on the dark wood bench and let my pale hands touch lightly the so familiar marble keys. I didn´t need a sheet to play this, I knew it by heart, since I spent so many times playing it. I closed my eyes, feeling the soft sound of the notes. The piano was my companion, and this song was one of my favorites. It held such a force, a power, a mix of melancholy and strength. I'd always loved the Nocturne Op. 9, No. 2 in E flat Major.

_(__amazing song, go look for it on youtube if you can)_

"Chopin again honey? I think you need to expand your repertoire" my mom said, leaning flat against the door.

"Sorry, I didn´t mean to wake you" I said, looking down at the keys while playing.

"This song is so beautiful" she said, holding tight on her long silk robe.

"Indeed," I answered, not feeling in the mood for a heart to heart chat with my mom.

"Are you ok, Edward" she asked, touching my hair.

"I am fine" I said, still touching the keys.

"Honey, talk to me" she said, stopping my right hand to keep me from playing.

"There is nothing to talk about, Mother" I said, looking down at my hands.

"You know it's not wrong to say that you miss your brother" she said with sympathy.

"I know that" I replied.

"You two were always very close, since you two were little kids, and I know it's very difficult to be without him for the first time in your life" she said, having no idea how precise that was. Since Emm went to California, my life seemed to have gone off the tracks.

"I'm ok with Emm being gone, Mom" I said, really not in the mood to talk about my perfect brother.

"When was the last time you actually talked to your brother " she asked, touching lightly on my hair with her delicate fingertips.

"Just a few days ago we talked through Skype. He is ok you know, he really likes California" I said, pushing my black glasses back to their place.

"I'll bet he does" she said, laughing.

"I'm glad he's happy" I said, with a shrug.

"If it´s not about your brother, what's got you so down baby" she asked with concern in her eyes.

"I told you I'm fine" I said, starting to feel defensive.

"Is this about that girl, Bella that was here a couple days ago" she asked me, looking worried.

"Bella Swan is the last thing I want to discuss right now" I said, getting up from my bench.

"Edward…" she tried to say, but I knew this conversation was going nowhere.

"Mom, that girl is just a waste of time. I need to focus on what really matters to me and it's just not Isabella Swan," I said closing the piano cover.

"If she's got you this upset she must have done something really bad, or she really does mean something to you. I am not blind, Edward" she said with determination.

"She means nothing to me" I insisted, gritting my teeth.

"Honey, talk to me, please" she said, trying to grab my now shaking hands.

"I am going to bed" I said, leaving the room before she had a chance to say anything else. I hated to do this to my mother, but she would never get it, nobody would.

Feeling defeated, I walked back to the comfort of the darkness of my room, where nobody could touch me. Not anymore.

* * *

**BPOV**

_"What is going on? I don't understand wh__y you are so upset" I said, trying to make him stay with us._

_"You just don't get it, do you__" he said, looking pissed._

_"Get what__" I asked, frustrated._

_"Never mind. Just leave me alone" he shouted with a mixture of anger and hurt, and walked away from me._

I stood there staring at the same spot since he left. Feeling confused and rejected.

Why couldn´t he have just stopped and heard me?

Why did he need to be so fucking stubborn and infuriating?

Didn´t he feel what I fucking felt the second his lips touched mine?

He must have felt something otherwise why would he have looked hurt?

Who in Heaven´s name would get this pissed after making out with a hot chick? Maybe he was gay, that would explain it. No, he kissed me back, I felt him getting hard. There is no way Edward Cullen wasn´t attracted to me.

God, why did I need to fall for the most confusing man on the planet?

"B, are you ok?" I heard Alice shouting, running in my direction with her sandals in her hands and Jasper right behind her.

"Where did Edward go?" Jasper asked, looking around the crowd.

"He just took off," I said, running my hands over my arms, suddenly feeling cold.

"What happened, Bella?" Alice asked me, touching my arm.

"I don't know. One minute he was fine, we were all having a good time, and then from nowhere he got all pissed, and left, and I just ran after him to find out what the hell was going on, and he just told me to leave him alone," I said, feeling like all of that had happened to somebody else, and not me.

"I have no idea what´s going on in my cousin´s head, but everything seemed fine. I thought that after the dare you guys would hook up," she said with a sad smile on her lips.

"Cullen is just being a pussy as always," Jasper said, sounding a little pissed.

"Come on B, let's go back to the party," Alice said, trying to make me go down to the bonfire.

"I am not in the mood for partying anymore, Ally, sorry," I said, wanting nothing more than my comfy bed.

"Ok then, let's go home, we have two big containers of Ben&Jerry's Mint Chocolate Chunk and Chocolate Fudge Brownie waiting for us," she said, trying to cheer me on, but no matter how good the comfort food sounded, I needed to be on my own right now.

"No, you stay here with Jasper and enjoy the rest of the party," I said, knowing how much Alice wanted to have some alone time with the cowboy.

"But, I drove us here remember, we were suppose to have a sleep over," she said.

"I know, but we can leave it for next week, I just need to be alone right now," I said, looking down at my white shoes, covered with the white sand.

"I can try to get you a ride back home, Bella," Jasper said sweetly.

"Don´t worry guys, I will just get a cab," I said.

"Are you sure?" Alice asked one more time.

"Hell yeah, go and have fun," I said, pushing her back to Jasper´s arms.

"Ok, but you have to promise to call me tomorrow," she said, pointing back at me.

"I promise. And you better take a good care of my girl over there," I said, looking at Jasper.

"Don´t worry, the lady will be safe with me," he said, putting his arms around Alice´s shoulders.

"I bet she will," I said, and then saying our goodbyes, I walked around the boulevard and soon got a cab.

The ride back home seemed to be much faster than I thought it would be. Since it was the middle of the dawn, all the house lights were off, and I didn´t have to worry about John's inquisition about where I had been or with who; or my mother´s sermon.

I opened the door without making a single sound and took off my sneakers, hoping that there wouldn't be a single loose plank on the floor to make noise.

I got up the stairs and looked at the small hall that held two doors, one to my bedroom, and the other to the dance room that I hadn´t been in in weeks.

I slowly opened my bedroom door, locking it behind me, not feeling in the mood to deal with an annoying mother or a cheery little sister.

I turned on the light, my eyes hurting with the bright after being too long in the dark, only to meet cardboard boxes and tossed clothes. Even if I had been living here for a few weeks, it still hadn't felt like home. All my things were inside of boxes and I still hadn´t made a connection with the purple walls or the big windows. The only things that lay there besides my bed were my white French Country Vanity Set, my tufted arm chair, my dresser and bedside tables, even if they were still wrapped with bubble wrap.

I tossed my bag over a pile of dirty clothes on the floor, next to my sneakers, and started to rip off all my clothes and accessories. I took off my purple bra and lay down on my bed only in my panties and a big old t-shirt.

No matter how long I lay there, sleep wouldn´t come. I kept tossing around the bed, and the minutes seemed more like hours. I tossed the covers on the floor and got up, searching for my purse in the mess. I soon found it and grabbed my iPod, wondering if listening to music would bring the sleep that I so desperately needed.

Lying down on the pillows, I plugged in the small phones, and let the random playlist play.

**Luv** -**Travis**

_What's so wrong__  
__Why the face so long__  
__Is it over?__  
__And where you going that__  
__You no longer belong here?_

_And distance tells you that__  
__Distance must come between love__  
__Where have you been, Luv?__  
__When the mistake we made__  
__Was in never having planned to fall in love, Luv_

_Singing this song__  
__Singing along__  
__Makes it easier for me to see you go__  
__But in doing so__  
__In letting you go__  
__It only serves to show me__  
__That I'm still in love with you_

_Singing this song__  
__Singing along__  
__Makes it easier for me to see you go__  
__But in doing so__  
__In letting you go__  
__It only serves to show me__  
__That I'm still in love with you_

_So what's so wrong__  
__Why the face?__  
__So long!__  
__Are you changing?_

_And where you been to that__  
__You no longer remember?_

_And distance tells you that__  
__Distance must come between love__  
__Where have you been, Luv?_

_It's just the chance we took__  
__Having never ever planned to fall in love, Luv__  
__It's just the chance we took__  
__Having never ever planned to fall in love, Luv__  
__It's just the chance we took__  
__Having never ever planned to fall in love, Luv__  
__Luv._

I just couldn´t stop all the thoughts that went through my head: thoughts about Edward, dancing, my family and even Angie. Sometimes I forgot how to breathe, stuck in a world of guilt, sadness, and rejection. I didn´t mean for any of those things to happen. I couldn't stop feeling so fucking alone and broken. It was all over. All the things that I loved, that I wished, that I dreamed were all gone. I didn´t have anything. Not anymore.

I fell asleep with tears rolling down my face and the lyrics echoing, reminded me of all the things I wouldn´t have.

* * *

I woke up with the sounds of the annoying little birds over my window and the laughs of Claire. My mouth tasted like shit, and my hair looked like a huge mess, and even if I wanted to lie over and be all emo, I knew I couldn´t. I got up and went to my own bathroom, which by the way, was also looking like a fucking mess. I washed my face, trying to remove all the traces of makeup that I'd had on last night, and brushed my hair, tying it in one loose bun on top of my head. _(set on my profile)_

Feeling too lazy to take a shower, I just put on a pair of old ripped jeans shorts and a blue loose tank top, with my flip flops, and went down to face the William's inquisition.

"Honey, stop playing with your food" my mom said, from the stove to Claire.

"But momma, it's a pancake castle" Claire said, while trying to put together her cut pieces of pancake.

"Claire, obey your mother" John said from behind his newspaper.

"You guys are no fun" she said pouting.

"That you got right kiddo" I said entering the kitchen.

"Bella!" my little sister shouted super excited to see me.

"And look who gives us the honor of their company" John said with a smirk.

"Love you too, Johnny" I said, grabbing a glass of orange juice.

"I thought you were going to sleep at Alice's yesterday?" my mom said, while serving me some pancakes.

"Change of plans. I was tired, and Alice ended up with a hot date" I said, taking a bite of my food.

"What's a hot date" Claire asked, chewing a huge piece of pancake.

"Don´t speak with your mouth full" my mom said to Claire.

"Nothing you will have to worry about for the next 15 years baby" John said to her, giving me an evil look. Such an overprotective father. Poor Claire.

"Well since you are here, how about you start to clean up that mess that is your bedroom" my mom said, taking a sip of coffee.

"Yeah, I guess it´s time" I said, finishing up my breakfast.

"If you need help moving the furniture just call me" John said.

"I will keep that in mind" I said, getting up from the table.

"I wanna help Bella" Claire said, getting up from her chair.

"No way missy, you are going to eat and then go play" I told my little sister.

"Please" she said, trying to look cute.

"Nope" I said.

"Pretty please" she said, trying to give me her 'big puppy eyes'.

"Kiddo, are you trying to give me the pouty and begging eyes? Really? I invented that look, so I am immune to it, sorry" I said, leaving a very angry sister behind.

( _picture of the William's family on my polyvore_ )

I got to my bedroom and opened the windows, letting the wind and fresh air inside the room. I got a vacuum cleaner and cleaned the floor, grabbed all the dirty clothes and took them to the laundry room, removed all of the ridiculous bubble wrap and finally started to open all those boxes that covered my floor.

Box after box went with the hours. My clothes and shoes were in their places, as were my books, my makeup and perfumes laid on my vanity, and even posters and pictures were hung on my walls. I plugged my iPod on the base, and turned on the music high, letting the words sink.

"_It's times like these you learn to live again__  
__It's times like these you give and give again__  
__It's times like these you learn to love again__  
__It's times like these time and time again__"_

I opened another box that held things from my childhood. There were a bunch of old books, my wood dollhouse and an antique picture frame.

The dust covered the glass of the frame; it had been a long time since I had looked at it, and I'd almost forgotten how his big brown eyes looked. I cleaned the frame, and put it on my bedside table, next to my table lamp. My dad Charlie was a cop back in Phoenix. He died in service when I was six years old. I would never forget when his partner Billy showed up at my house at dinner time, or my mom screams when he told her about it, or how everybody said my dad was a hero. I didn´t want a hero, I just wanted my dad, and I would never get that again. When I was ten, my mom and John meet at a support group, his wife had died of cancer a couple of years before, and they almost instantly got together. Don´t get me wrong, I liked John, he was a decent guy and made my mom happy again, and Claire was a bonus. He just wasn´t my dad.

When I finished putting everything together there was only one box left in the corner of my room.

No matter how much I wanted to avoid that old cardboard box I knew I couldn´t hold it up anymore. I sat on the floor next to the box and opened it, taking out item by item. There was my old tutu from when I was a little kid, an few old pictures of my first day at ballet class, me and Angie, me and my dad at my first recital, there was also my first pair of ballet shoes and the last Pointe shoes I had ever worn. They were very used; the satin was dirty and old, just perfect to dance.

And for the first time in a long time I had the urge to go back and keep dancing.

I took one of the old shoes and put it on my foot, the two fabric ribbons wrapped around my ankle, one overlapping the other, forming a cross. I tied together the ends in a knot, and tucked it under the ribbon on the inside of my ankle, hiding it from view.

I did the same with my other foot, and just stood there, looking at the simple pair of shoes that had meant so much in my life, that at some point had meant everything.

I got up on my toes, just feeling it, stretching my legs, feeling my muscles awake again.

I stood there in fourth position, with my legs straight, my eyes fixed on the posters on my walls, with my heels sunk to the floor, so I could push off a pirouette. I brought my back foot to my front leg while my arms were in first position, holding my center of balance. I turned my body, spinning and before I could complete the turn I lost my balance and fell on the floor.

"Shit" I screamed, hitting the wool carpet.

"Fucking spins" I said, touching my now aching elbow.

How could I have lost my center of balance like that? I was always fucking great with pirouettes, no I was fucking brilliant, I would never fall down like that. I used to be perfect. Well, I guess that not training for more than one year can do this shit with you.

Feeling fucking pissed I quickly undid the knot that held my ribbons together and tossed the old Pointe shoes over my room, not seeing where they landed, but I didn´t fucking care at this particular point.

I don´t know why after all this time I thought I could still do it.

"'Let's go all the way'. Hmm, is that an invitation?" I heard someone say at the door.

"Fuck" I shouted.

"You didn't call" Alice said, getting inside my room.

"Alice, what are you doing here" I asked, rudely.

"Well, yesterday before you left you said you were going to call, yet my phone didn´t ring" she said, sitting on my bed.

"Look I am sorry ok, I forgot" I said, feeling a little shitty for not letting Alice know I was ok.

"Well, you do look like crap" she said, touching my pillows.

"And you look like a fucking **cherry pie**. What's up with the red shit" I asked, looking at her red dress _(set on my profile)_

"Isn't that an 80's song" she asked. ( yes, it is )

"That's irrelevant" I said.

"Besides, red looks really good with my skin tone and matches my mood" she said with a huge smile.

"Why do I have a feeling that you came here not to talk about me, but to talk about you" I said, sitting on my tufted arm chair.

"Oh MY God Bella he is so perfect" Alice said, looking like a fucking fan girl.

"Who, Jasper" I asked, laughing.

"No, the freaking Prince of England. Of course Jasper" she said, jumping up and down.

"Ok, tell me all about it" I said.

"He was so sweet and charming. He held my hand over the bonfire and kept his arms around me all the time. He said the loveliest things. And then when I left him at his place he kissed me" she said, looking all flushed in her red dress.

"I am glad to hear you hooked up with the hot cowboy" I said.

"Bella, we are meant to be, I just know it" Alice kept talking over and over about how Jazzy, like she now called him, and her were destined to be together.

"Hope you have your happy ending, Ally" I said, feeling a little sad for the end of my relationship with Edward that never had a chance.

"Are you really ok, B" she asked me, concerned.

"I am fine" I said.

"Are you sure? 'Cause that fight you had with my cousin seemed really bad," she said.

"It was nothing" I said, trying to avoid the topic of geek Cullen.

"I saw the way you two kissed, Bella. That is definitely not nothing" she said to me.

"It was just a stupid kiss, on a stupid dare, which I haven't forgotten that you made me do" I said with a smirk.

"Well, a girl's gotta try, right" she said getting up from the bed.

"Next time, let´s not let anyone get their tongue down my throat" I said.

"Like you didn´t like it. Baby I know your secret, I know you've got the hots for the geeks" she said with a mocking tone.

"Shut up" I said laughing, throwing a pillow in her direction, which she dodged.

"Hum Bella, what is this" she asked, holding in her hands one of my Pointe shoes.

"Shit," I said.

How the fuck would I explain this to Alice? I guess the shit finally hit the fan.

* * *

_**A/N: So, here it is a quick update! Hope you all enjoyed it and le**__**ft me a review with your thoughts!**_

_**If there is anyone in there that is a Ballerina,I am so sorry,but Ballet is really tuff to write and I would love some help with that!**_

_**I am looking for your ideas!So just leave me an menssage and lets chat =D**_

_**Lots of love for LeKat for keeping up with me for the past two years! That girls rocks!**_

_**Xoxo**_

_**C.**_

_**ps) Those videos above are from Y O U T U B E - and its about what inspired Bella dancing style !**_

.com/watch?v=ZCtwREg-xFE&feature=relmfu

.com/watch?v=zNBxU1rQbfQ&feature=relmfu


	8. I Will Possess Your Heart

**I Will Possess Your Heart – Chapter 8**

**A/N: HONEY, I AM BACK!  
**

* * *

**EPOV**

Laying between turned up papers and spread sheets. That's how I expected to pass my weekend. A time to deal with my shit and move on. It would be like she had never existed.

I could stay in the dark, laying around in my pj´s, listening to some depressing songs and that would be it – by Monday I would get over it and focus on what really mattered – my future.

I could ask to try to change my Bio class so I wouldn´t see her anymore – I heard that the Physic's class could be interesting – or even if I couldn´t do it I could still try to change partners - even if that meant sitting with Michael freaking Newton. Even that would be less painful that had to endure an entire semester sitting by her lying and manipulative side.

"Edward honey, are awake?" I heard my mom saying through my bedroom door.

"I am up mom." I said, trying to hide the frustration in my voice.

"Then come take breakfast with me and your father please." She said before leaving.

"Great." I murmured to myself – nothing like a good Spanish Inquisition right before breakfast to make your day.

Knowing I would have to face my father made me jump right of the bed and take a quick shower, only to cool off before I would have to lay my entire routine to him.

Trying to look presentable I put some clean dark jeans, a grey button up shirt and my black Doc Marten's. I didn´t even try to tame my wild hair, just brushed my teeth and walked down the stairs and to the kitchen.

My father was sat on his usual spot around the round table, with cup of coffee in front of him and a plate of half eaten waffles, reading his newspaper and with unusual clothes – which meant only one thing – today, was going to be Hell since he was taking a day off.

"Good morning Edward." – He said from his newspaper.

"Morning father." I said sitting in my place at the table.

"Pancakes honey?" My mother asked me, holding a tray of fresh made pancakes.

"Sure." I said before taking a gulp of my orange juice.

"So how have your lessons been?" My father asked me, folding the newspaper and putting it over the empty place that used to belong to Emmett.

"Everything is good." I replied, slowly swallowing my food.

"Just good?" He asked taking another sip of his hot coffee.

"He is being modest dear, he is brilliant as always." My mom said, blinking at me, before eating another piece of her fruit salad.

"Well I would expect nothing less." He said with formality.

"I have been practicing a lot father, don´t worry." I said looking down at my plate.

"It's not me that has to worry Edward; you know that Juilliard accepts nothing but excellence." He said.

"I am aware of that." I said, starting to feel annoyed.

"Are you sure? Because as far as I know you have been distracted lately." He responded by giving me a hard stare.

"I having been as focused as ever" I sighed dropping my fork back onto my plate.

"Son, just because your brother isn't here anymore that doesn't give you a free pass to do whatever you want." He said harshly.

"Father I promise you that I am working as hard as ever." I said, trying to stay focused and not shoot at my father. What a lazy dad he had been lately.

"You know that I expect only the best of my boys." He noted sternly.

"I know father." I replied, my fingernails almost cutting the flesh of my hands because I was closing my fists so freaking hard it was almost bleeding.

"Now stop it both of you. This conversation is improper for this moment." My mom scolded, giving my father a warning look.

"When am I supposed to talk to my son then Esme?" My father asked.

"You can talk to him anytime you want, but you don´t have to scold the boy, he has being nothing but the perfect son to you." My mother said, touching my hand softly.

"Well enough then, I just want the best for my boys – you must know that son – that's why I've always pushed you and your brother to do your best." He said , trying to be a little bit more gentle in his tone.

"He knows that, don´t you Edward?" My mom asked, her eyes soft.

"Of course mom." I responded.

"Well, what can I say; I have two brilliant son´s – you with music and Emmett with sports." My dad smiled, a glimpse of pride in his eyes.

"I just want to make you both proud of me – like Em did." I said, thinking about my brother, who won a full scholarship from his football skills at UCLA. I would never make them as proud of me as they were of my brother.

"I know you are going to make me really proud son." He said, before getting up from the table and disappearing somewhere in the house.

"I know he is hard on you sweetie, but he only wants the best for you." My mom said, softly touching my messy hair.

"I know." I said getting up from my spot.

"Can a mother know where her son is going?" She asked me before taking the plates from the table.

"Practice, what else?" I sighed before going in the direction of the basement.

* * *

When I was six years old my father introduced me to a piano for the first time. We were at one of his friends parties and there was a piano. I could barely hold the keys but just as I touched the keyboard something snapped inside of me.

The owner of the antique piano was an old lady called Elizabeth, she was the mother of the house owner and she sat with me for the entire party, showing me just how to play. I remember thinking she was the most amazing woman in the word beside´s my mom.

I used to go to every party in that house from then on, hoping to be able to play one more time and eventually she became my very first piano teacher. She passed away when I was 8 years old and ever since, every time I played my piano I dedicated it to her.

She was my main inspiration to go to Juilliard. Not for fame, not for pride, not for my father. But for a gentle old lady that showed me that even I could be special.

* * *

As I walked down the basement stairs and turned on the lights the place had gotten a total new look. The walls were soundproofed and painted in a warm golden tone. There was a sound table and a small recording room so I could practice alone and record my music. My father was very generous when he built this room for me on my sixteenth birthday – some boys gain a big red truck like Em did – instead I asked for a music room and to stay with my mom´s Volvo – since she had just bought a brand new BMW SUV.

To tell the truth, here was the place where I spent most of my free time. My baby grand piano was here – my music, my future, my entire life was here – so there was nowhere I felt more at home than at this room.

I sat down at my dark wood stool and opened my leather music notebook. There was a little left of the ripped paper where Bella's song had been. A small memory of her presence that even if I tried, I could not get it to go away.

I sat there just messing with the keys, not actually playing anything, just letting myself drown on my own stupid sorrow.

"Shit man, can you just play something that does not make me want to kill myself?" Jasper joked, walking down the stairs to the music room.

"What are you doing here?" I grumbled, annoyed with his presence, I just wanted to be alone.

"You weren´t answering my calls." He said with a mocking tone.

"That meant that I was ignoring you, fucker" I said turning my back to him.

"Are you breaking up with me?" He said, faking shock and drying pretended tears from his face.

"Why are you being such a girl?" I said as I stopped playing.

"Because thanks to your little outburst I spent precious time listening to a very worried Alice instead of making out with her." He said, putting his guitar case on a support on the floor.

"Is that what got your panties in a twist? Because you didn´t shove your tongue inside my cousins' throat." I asked sarcastically.

"No, I did that too." He grinned, grabbing his custom black Les Paul electric guitar and wrapping it over his shoulder.

"Then why are you being more annoying than usual?" I asked.

"I don´t know man, it must be because you left Bambi there, all high and dry."

"I really don´t wanna talk about it." I sighed, closing my eyes and rubbing the bridge of my nose.

"Well then Cullen, stop being a pussy and start getting some pussy. That chick was all over you!" He told me while running one of his hands over the arm of the guitar.

"She´s probably thinks she was doing me a great favor by sticking her tongue down my throat." I sighed, not wanting to remember how sweet and soft her traitorous lips were.

"Stop being such a fucking girl and go after the chick!" He said.

"If you want to jam that's fine…if you want to keep talking about Isabella you can just go." I snapped, starting to play with the piano keys.

"Fine dude, you are lucky that I love this song." He said, finally shutting up and starting to play his guitar.

**I Will Possess Your Heart – Death Cab For Cutie**

_How I wish you could see the potential,  
the potential of you and me  
It's like a book elegantly bound,  
but in a language that you can't read, just yet_

You gotta spend some time, love  
you gotta spend some time with me  
And I know that you'll find, love  
I will possess your heart

You gotta spend some time, love  
you gotta spend some time with me  
And I know that you'll find, love  
I will possess your heart

There are days when outside your window,  
I see my reflection as I slowly pass  
And I long for this mirrored perspective,  
when we'll be lovers, lovers at last

You gotta spend some time, love  
you gotta spend some time with me  
And I know that you'll find, love  
I will possess your heart

You gotta spend some time, love  
you gotta spend some time with me  
And I know that you'll find, love  
I will possess your heart

I will possess your heart  
I will possess your heart

You reject my advances and desperate plea  
I won't let you, let me down so easily, so easily

You gotta spend some time, love  
you gotta spend some time with me  
And I know that you'll find, love  
I will possess your heart

You gotta spend some time, love  
you gotta spend some time with me  
And I know that you'll find, love  
I will possess your heart

You gotta spend some time, love  
you gotta spend some time with me  
And I know that you'll find, love  
I will possess your heart

I will possess your heart  
I will possess your heart

"Damn that song is good!" Jasper grinned after the song was finished.

"Yeah." I said, scratching my neck.

"I would say it´s well fitting for your situation." He said with a smirk.

"You just can´t let it go, can you?" I asked angrily, turning to his direction.

"I am your best friend man, if I don´t talk about this shit with you, who is going to? Mr.C the super doctor?" He said laughing.

"Yeah right." I said.

"Dude, you really should talk to her though." He said touching my shoulder with his elbow.

"Jasper it's so clear she was just messing with me. She probably thought she would do 'the geek' a favor and give him the night of his life." I spoke, feeling my heart break at every word I said.

"She seemed pretty upset after you left. She even took a cab back home right after." He said sympathetically.

"Well maybe she thought that after the night´s entertainment left there was nothing more for her to her play with." I begrudged.

"Edward, you know that's not true." He said.

"So you and Alice?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"I totally know what you are trying to do, but I will let it be for now. I'd say your cousin and I may have a future together." He beamed.

"It was that good?" I asked – knowing about Jasper's womanizing ways – it had to be really good for him to settle down.

"I may say it has changed lives." He said laughing.

And that's how Isabella Swan was forgotten for a day.

* * *

**A**/**N: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR KEEPING UP WITH ME!**

**I know its been since forever that I posted a new chapter and that I let many of you guys down,but I just wanted you guys to know that this story means a lot to me and I will never stop thanks to all the love that I have received from you guys! So tks so much!  
**

**A special thanks for LeKat and PlanetAmy - without those girls I wouldn´t be able to start writing again!  
**

**I hope to hear what you guys think!  
**

**xoxo**

**C.  
**


	9. Born This Way

**Born This Way – Chapter 9**

**A/N: Read and Enjoy! I would love to read a few reviews also ;)**

* * *

**BPOV**

"Hum Bella, what is this?" Alice asked, holding in her hands one of my pointe shoes.

"Shit." I whispered running a hand over my messy bangs that fell from my loose bun.

"So?" She demanded, bringing me the worn out satin dance shoes.

"Well, it´s from an old costume I got for Halloween a few years back." I said quickly, grabbing the shoes and carefully rolling the satin ribbons over them.

"That's some pretty crap store, since they let you buy dirt and worn out ballet slippers."

"They are pointe shoes, not ballet slippers!" I said indignantly, putting them over the small round coffee table that held my computer.

"Well either you did very impressive research about the subject before dressing up in tutus for Halloween or you may have something to tell me." She said, crossing her arms over her chest trying to look threatening.

"Can´t you just drop it?" I sighed, feeling frustrated.

"You bet your cute little ass I won´t! And besides I don´t enjoy disappointment." She raised her eyebrows, giving me an evil glare.

"How can someone so tinny be so annoying?" I said defeated.

"It's a gift." She replied sarcastically.

"Well, then I hope you enjoy the show. Follow me." I said, grabbing the old pointe shoes and the key to my dance room.

"Where are we going Bella?" Alice asked, before grabbing her bag from my small purple velvet couch.

"I am going to show you my play room." I answered before opening the door that used to hold all my hopes and dreams.

"B, you better not being holding some crops and chains cause that's kind of 50 shades of fuck up …" Alice giggled before I turned on the light and showed her what my play room was all about.

**(ow yeah baby I am a huge fan of 50 shades of Grey !)  
**_  
_

"This is my dance studio." I said, opening the blinds and the big windows letting the sun and fresh air get in here for the first time since my mom had put all of this together.

"So you are a ballerina? Why didn't you say anything before?" She asked excitedly watching every small detail with a glimmer in her eyes.

"I am not a ballerina." I said automatically, before sitting on my purple arm chair on the corner of the room close to the windows.

"Then why is there a freaking poster of you wearing a tutu, standing on the tip of your toes?" She questioned, pointing to an old poster of one of my performances.

"You'll see." I sighed getting up from the chair, putting my old ponties on the antique coffee table and turning on my stereo.

I got up in the front of the mirror and let the music run over my body for the first time in what seemed like forever.

**Born This Way – Lady Gaga**

_It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M_  
_Just put your paws up_  
_'Cause you were born this way, baby_

_My mama told me when I was young_  
_We are all born superstars_

_She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on_  
_In the glass of her boudoir_

_'There's nothin wrong with lovin who you are'_  
_She said, 'cause he made you perfect, babe'_

_'So hold your head up girl and you'll go far_  
_Listen to me when I say'_

_I'm beautiful in my way_  
_'cause god makes no mistakes_  
_I'm on the right track baby_  
_I was born this way_

_Don't hide yourself in regret_  
_Just love yourself and you're set_  
_I'm on the right track baby_  
_I was born this way_

_Ooo there ain't no other way_  
_Baby, I was born this way_  
_Baby, I was born this way_  
_Ooo there ain't no other way_  
_Baby, I was born_  
_I'm on the right track, baby_  
_I was born this way_

_Don't be a drag - just be a queen_  
_Don't be a drag - just be a queen_  
_Don't be a drag - just be a queen_  
_Don't be!_

_Give yourself prudence_  
_And love your friends_  
_Subway kid, rejoice your truth_

_In the religion of the insecure_  
_I must be myself, respect my youth_

_A different lover is not a sin_  
_Believe capital H-I-M (hey hey hey)_  
_I love my life I love this record and_  
_Mi amore vole fe yah (love needs faith)_

_I'm beautiful in my way_  
_'cause god makes no mistakes_  
_I'm on the right track baby_  
_I was born this way_

_Don't hide yourself in regret_  
_Just love yourself and you're set_  
_I'm on the right track baby_  
_I was born this way_

_Ooo there ain't no other way_  
_Baby, I was born this way_  
_Baby, I was born this way_  
_Ooo there ain't no other way_  
_Baby, I was born_  
_I'm on the right track, baby_  
_I was born this way_

_Don't be a drag, just be a queen_  
_Whether you're broke or evergreen_  
_You're black, white, beige, chola descent_  
_You're lebanese, you're orient_  
_Whether life's disabilities_  
_Left you outcast, bullied, or teased_  
_Rejoice and love yourself today_  
_'cause baby you were born this way_

_No matter gay, straight, or bi_  
_Lesbian, transgendered life_  
_I'm on the right track, baby_  
_I was born to survive_  
_No matter black, white or beige_  
_Chola or orient made_  
_I'm on the right track, baby_  
_I was born to be brave_

_I'm beautiful in my way_  
_'cause god makes no mistakes_  
_I'm on the right track, baby_  
_I was born this way_

_Don't hide yourself in regret_  
_Just love yourself and you're set_  
_I'm on the right track, baby_  
_I was born this way_

_Ooo there ain't no other way_  
_Baby, I was born this way_  
_Baby, I was born this way_  
_Ooo there ain't no other way_  
_Baby, I was born_  
_I'm on the right track, baby_  
_I was born this way_

_I was born this way hey!_  
_I was born this way hey!_  
_I'm on the right track, baby_  
_I was born this way hey!_

_I was born this way hey!_  
_I was born this way hey!_  
_I'm on the right track, baby_  
_I was born this way hey!_

I could feel my arms in the air, my feet moving fast with the beat, my hair falling over my face.

My body floating with the beat of the dreams, spinning with the bass, vibrating to the sound of Gaga´s voice

I could see Alice watching me over the mirror, I knew she was quite confused but also impressed. If she thought I was kicking ass while dancing Lady Gaga imagine what she would think if she saw some of my old choreography!

( w w w. youtube watch?v=MABYO5Yqj0g&list=UUDUVqR1mm1a-5n9PYCoStwA&index=10&feature=plcp )

**( Watch this video if you want to see Bella´s dance move´s)**

After the song ended I was a little out of breath – it had been a while – and Alice was making me quite nervous to tell the truth.

"I am sorry, but Lady Gaga just called, she wants her moves back!" She grinned.

"Think she would've appreciated my hard work?" I asked, before sitting on the wood floor.

"Girl you can dance! Those moves so do belong to a dance video!" She insisted, sitting next to me on the floor.

"I prefer thinking that my work has a more contemporary style." I nodded, feeling embarrassed for not mentioning it to her before.

"Well, then I can´t wait to see you in that tutu doing some spins!" She said, pointing to my old ballet costume.

"And you won't." I said, looking away from her.

"Why is that?" She sounded surprised.

"I told you I was not a ballerina. I do love to dance, but for fun, not for someone to see and think I am some porcelain doll in a tutu." I ranted, annoyed that the conversation had gone this way.

"Ok! Ok! No need to get all psychotic on me. I just thought it was all part of the package." She said, holding her hands in a defensive pose.

"Yeah I suppose it was, but not anymore." I sighed, before a knock on the door interrupted us.

"Oh I see that you have found her." My mom said from the door to Alice.

"Thanks for the tip Mrs. Williams." Alice replied politely.

"I am glad to help. I see that Bella told you about her dance talent?" She beamed with pride.

"Mom." I warned disapprovingly.

"Don´t be modest Isabella, you were always a brilliant dancer!" She said looking back at the photos that she hung up all over the dance studio.

"She's exaggerating." I told Alice.

"No I am not! Oh my God I just had the most amazing idea! I just unpacked a few boxes full of antiques and VCRs, do you want to watch some of them with me Alice" My mother asked her, with a big smile on her lips.

"I would love to!" Alice squealed, getting up of the floor and following my mom down to the living room.

"You have to see them Alice, Bella was the cutest ballerina I ever saw." She insisted, putting the VCR on and pressing play.

Instantly the screen was filled with soft classical music playing and the same brown eyes of my younger self staring at the screen, dancing like nothing else mattered in the word. Nothing else did.

On the next shot my dad appeared trying to spin me around, his warm smile and his gentle laughter filling my ears again. It had been too many years since I had listened to that sound.

"Oh Charlie." My mom whispered, and I could sense she really wanted to cry.

"That's your dad Bella?" Alice asked me gently.

"Yeah, that's Charlie Swan" I said, before sitting on the couch, hypnotized by my father's soft brown eyes.

"He always loved watching you dance." My mom smiled, discretely wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.

"Mom." I pleaded, hoping she wouldn't bring my father into this.

"Each day that passes you look more like him." She stated with a smile, lost in the old memories that that homemade movie was bringing.

"Who is that?" Alice asked pointing to the small blond girl dancing beside me.

"Oh that's Angeline." My mom said, trying to get into the subject too much.

"Is she your friend Bella?" Alice asked me.

"She was." I whispered, before getting up from the sofa and leaving the room.

* * *

The next few days followed the same pattern; I would go to school and feel shitty because Edward was doing a great job of ignoring me completely.

That and there was the fact that Alice and Jasper were know glued to the hip, which meant that me and the infuriatingly hot geek boy were always in the same room, just ignoring each other.

Well actually he ignored me. I attempted conversation a few times and with each one of them he brushed me of like I was dirt on his precious converse.

That shit got old fast. Now I was just fucking pissed. Who the hell did he think he was to stick his tongue down my throat and then ignore me like the plague on the next day?

But that wasn't our only problem, there was that god damn seminary that Mr. Banner wanted us to present, and we had to deliver at least an introduction to him by the end of the week. And guess what? Edward dearest didn't even respond to my emails about the topic so I suppose I was screwed.

I was always proud of my grades, at one time they needed to be really high so I could attend some very specific and exclusive colleges, but that wasn't an issue anymore.

But I wouldn't let him ruin my GPA! I thought I had been very clear when I went to his house that he could avoid me all he wanted but he couldn't run from our assignment.

I decided to text Alice to see if she could give me the location of Idiotward.

_**'Hey Ali do you know where Emo boy is? xoxo -B'**_

_**'He's right here with me and Jazz. xoxo -A'**_

_**'Where are you Pixie pants? xoxo -B'**_

_**'Round the back of the gymnasium. Under the big oak tree. xoxo -A'**_

I found them exactly where Alice had said, under the old oak tree. Alice looked like a true Texan with her white and blue flower dress and little brown boots , while Jasper was on his guitar trying to cause some deep insight with his mindful t-shirt, and Emo boy was just as delicious as always in jeans, plaid and leather boots. I cursed his sexiness!

**( sets on my polyvore account – check my profile for the link )**

"Hey Bella!" Alice squealed excitedly.

"Hey." I smiled, sitting on the grass besides her.

"What's up missy?" Jasper asked, fixing me with a smirk and winking behind his Aviator sunglasses.

"I love your scarf!" Alice said, touching the soft cotton.

"Thanks." I replied, looking at Edward who, once again, was trying to totally ignore my existence.

"So skipping lunch to sing kumbaia?" I asked Jasper teasingly.

"If you must know, I am a lover of music, of all good music." Jasper stated, winking at me again before continuing to play.

"_So baby, Don't say no  
Come on..and just say yes  
You know it's time to keep it simple  
Let's take a chance and hope for the best  
Life is short so make it what you wanna  
Make it good, don't wait until mañana  
I think I'm cool cause your name's on this heart shaped tattoo, now  
The best thing about me is you"._

Jasper and Alice kept singing looking like two crazy in love teenagers – not even realizing the tension between Edward and I.

Ok, I could sense why he was uncomfortable in my presence, but just because of a freaking song the boy looked like he was going to puke his guts out.

"I better go." Edward said with a whisper, ripping some of the soft grass bellow him with his pale hands in his haste to get away.

"Come on man, you got admit that this is a great song!" Jasper laughed.

"Whatever." Edward sighed, pushing his thick glasses back into place before getting up.

"Oh my God you are such an asshole!" I blurted before thinking.

"Excuse me?" He choked.

"You really couldn't be more oblivious could you?" I started angrily.

"I have no idea what you are talking about Isabella." He responded coldly.

"Guess the fuck what? You are not the center of my fucking Universe! So just get fucking over it and pull that stick out of your ass!" I shouted, before grabbing my things and taking off, leaving a very confused Idiotward behind.

"Fuck Edward, what did you do this time?" An equally confused Jasper asked before I was too far away from them to listen.

Well guess what Edward Cullen? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! Two chapters in two days what did you guys think? I am really happy to be writing again and for all the love I am getting!

Know that I keep writing for you guys!

Please let me know what you guys think!

xoxo

C.


	10. In The Arms Of An Angel

**In The Arms of an Angel – Chapter 10**

**A/N: And here we are again, 3 chapters in 10 days!Enjoy it ;)**

* * *

**EPOV**

"Guess the fuck what? You are not the center of my fucking Universe! So just get fucking over it and pull that stick out of your ass!" Bella shouted at me, before grabbing her things and running like lightning

"Fuck Edward, what did you do this time?" A confused Jasper asked me.

"I have no freaking idea," I said, scratching the back of my neck.

"God Edward, for a smart guy you can be really stupid sometimes," Alice said to me before grabbing her things and running after Bella.

"Great, now Ally is gone," Jasper said, putting his guitar on the floor.

"Hey, I had nothing to do with that," I said, trying to defend myself.

"Really? Cause as far as I'm concerned Bambi there just took off because you are being an annoying pussy and not talking to the girl. And taking my girl with her," he said annoyed.

"Listen, I can't control that woman," I said frustrated that Jasper seemed to be taking HER side and not mine.

"You don't have to control her idiot, you just have to be nice to her," he said.

"Why should I? She is the one that humiliated me," I said angrily.

"Humiliated you? A hot girl makes out with you and you think she is trying to make a joke on you?" he asked.

"Oh my God. I can't believe you're taking her side!" I shouted at him.

"This is not about sides, Edward. It's about you being a dick," he said.

"Weren't you there? Didn't you see what she did?" I asked frustrated.

"Hell yeah. What I saw was a gorgeous girl kissing you. What is wrong with that?" he asked.

"She didn't mean it, ok?" I shouted at him.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked.

"That kiss didn't mean anything to her. At least not like it meant to me," I said, pushing my thick frames back in place.

"And how the hell did you come to this brilliant conclusion?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"She kissed Alice," I said lowly.

"So?" he asked confused.

"She kissed her the same way that she kissed me. Like it was no big deal. It meant nothing to her," I said sadly.

"So that's what all this crap is about? Your ego is wounded because she kissed Alice? It was a freaking dare Edward, she couldn't do anything about it," Jasper said.

"And so was kissing me," I told him feeling defeated.

"Come on, Edward, even you can't be that dense," he said with a smirk.

"What are you talking about, Jasper?" I said without patience.

"It was so obvious that Alice dared Bella to kiss you because it was the only way you two would do it," he said.

"What!" I said shocked.

"That girl wants you. You just can't see that yet," he said, before grabbing his guitar and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

* * *

I spent the rest of the day with Bella on my mind and Jasper's words echoing in my head.

Could it really be? Could that amazing woman want to be with me? Could this be more than some sick joke that she and the disgusting rest of Robert E. Lee High had tried to pull on me? Could it really be that Bella Swan wanted to be with me?

Each time I said those words in my head it seemed more and more unlikely to be true. I mean, what could I offer Bella? I wasn't good looking, or athletic, or popular. I was shy and uncoordinated, I mean I could barely walk without falling over my own feet. Why would she want to be with me?

The sound of my mother knocking on the door and calling my name interrupted my thoughts.

"Honey, your uncle Andrew and your aunt Catherine are coming to dinner tonight," she said.

"Is Alice coming too?" I asked, afraid to have to face the evil/matchmaking pixie.

"Of course, Edward. She is your cousin after all," my mom said with a laugh.

"I thought we were having lunch on Sunday," I said, getting up from my leather couch.

"Your father won't be able to be at the lunch on Sunday, so we rescheduled for today. So you'd better be ready by 7 pm," she said before leaving.

"Great," I said before grabbing my dirty clothes and walking in the direction of my bathroom.

* * *

I was finishing the last button of my shirt when the sound of an alert coming from my Skype caught my attention.

I walked to my computer and saw that Emmett was requesting a video chat. I sat on my desk chair and quickly accepted the incoming video call.

"What's up little bro?" Emmett said from his side of the screen.

"Hey, Emm," I said with a smile. I really missed my big brother.

"It's been too long since I've seen your pale little ass. What have you been up to?" he asked with a big smirk.

"Nothing much, same old," I said with a shudder.

"Let me guess, playing Emo music and video games. Did I get it right?" he asked, laughing.

"Pretty much," I said, running my hand over my wet hair.

"So I can see you are wearing your monkey suit. Is the family having a meeting or some shit like that?" he asked me, pointing to my blue dress pants, plaid shirt and blue jacket.

"Yep," I said.

"I thought that delight was reserved for Sundays only," he said confused.

"Dad is going to be busy that day, so I guess he thought it would be nice to reschedule," I said sarcastically.

"Good to see that the old man hasn't changed with me leaving the house," he said with a fake smile.

"Oh, you know he is nothing but traditional," I said laughing.

"Oh I missed you little Eddy," he said.

"You know I hate when you call me Eddy," I said annoyed.

"And why do you think I keep calling you that?" he said with a smirk.

"It's nice to know that I still amuse you even 2,000 miles away," I said.

"Always baby bro. So tell me, how are things over there really?" he asked with a worried face.

"Everything is fine," I lied.

"Liar," he said with sadness.

"Emmett, really, everything is ok," I said, not wanting to upset my brother with my ridiculous problems.

"Edward, I swear to God if I have to take my car and drive there to kick some idiot asses I will," he said.

"Nothing is wrong," I said, pushing my glasses back to the top of my nose.

"You know how I know you are lying? Because you always do that thing with your glasses when you're upset or trying to hide something," he said with a hard stare.

"It's nothing important," I said.

"Just tell me ok? Is it Newton? Cause if it is that fucker is gone. I will make sure he never plays football ever again in his life," Emmett said. He knew exactly how Mike Newton tried to make my life a living Hell. But this time he wasn't the main problem.

"It's not Newton, ok," I said.

"Is it Crowly? Or Jenner?" he asked, referring to Mike's asshole friends.

"It's not a guy problem," I said, feeling shy for the first time with my brother.

"Wait a second. Are you trying to tell me that you are having girl problems?" he asked before starting to laugh like a madman.

"Emm this is so not funny," I said, crossing my arms over my chest in a petulant pose.

"I can't believe little Edward is having girl problems," he said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Is it really that odd?" I asked, feeling a little insecure.

"Dude, I was starting to think you were playing on the other team," he said.

"What? I am not gay!" I shouted.

"It would be totally cool if you were dude. I mean you spend all your free time playing that god damned piano, or on the computer, and your only friend is Jasper…So I was starting to wonder if you two didn't have a thing going on," he said with a smirk.

"For fucks sake I am not fucking gay," I said.

"You know, there is no point in denial," he said, trying to look serious.

"I kissed a girl," I said.

"Yeah, when you were 14 and because it was seven minutes in heaven," he said.

"No, I mean I kissed a girl recently," I said.

"Really? Who?" he asked.

"You don't know her, she is kind of new in town," I said, looking down at my hands.

"And how did you meet this girl?" he asked, doubting that I was actually telling the truth.

"Her name is Bella and she is my new lab partner," I said.

"You've never had a lab partner before," he said, quite aware of my lack of social skills in working with other human beings.

"Well, that was the only free spot I suppose," I said.

"And how the hell did you guys go from lab partners to playing tonsil hockey?" he asked, looking quite confused.

"Well, we were at this party…" I started saying.

"Shut up! Edward Cullen at a party? You may as well call the cops cause I have gone crazy and don't know it yet," he said with sarcasm.

"Will you let me finish or not?" I said, annoyed.

"Go on Your Highness," he said, waving his hands in a mocking gesture.

"Anyway, we were at this beach party, me, Jasper, her, and Alice…" I said.

"Oh Alice, God I miss that Pixie," he said with a big smile.

"Emmett!" I said.

"Fine, go on," he said laughing at my outburst.

"And some of the guys decided to play Truth or Dare, and of course Jasper had the brilliant idea to make us join in, and to make things even worse Alice put a dare on me," I said quickly.

"And what was the dare?" he questioned me.

"The dare was for Bella to kiss me," I said with sadness.

"And that's how you guys ended up making out?" he asked.

"Pretty much, yeah," I replied.

"And now you guys are together or something?" he asked confused.

"Not exactly," I said.

"Why is that?" he asked.

"Well, first off we are not exactly talking, and she doesn't like me and besides it was just a freaking stupid dare," I said running my hands over my dress pants.

"Ok, is the chick hot?" he asked.

"Yeah, she is gorgeous," I said, thinking about her pale perfect skin and her long soft hair.

"Then, why aren't you hitting that?" he shouted at me.

"Emmett that is just rude," I said.

"Really, the girl would not have kissed you if she wasn't into you," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the whole world.

"I doubt that," I said.

"And why is that Edward?" he asked me.

"I mean, come on, look at me," I said, watching my own image on the computer screen.

"I don't see anything wrong with the way you look," he said.

"You're saying that because you're my brother," I said defeated.

"Exactly, we are brothers. We have the same genes. There is no way that a chick wouldn't have a thing for you," he said with a smile.

"You're saying that because you never had any girl problems," I said, referring to my brother's harem that he had in high school.

"That's not true. You know how much hard work I had to put in for Rosie?" he said, referring to how much he had had to use his charms on Rosalie before the Ice Queen decided he was worth her precious time.

"That's because she doesn't have a heart," I said with sarcasm.

"That hurt Edward," Rosalie said, leaving the bathroom behind Emmett wrapped in only a small towel.

"God Rosalie, you have no sense of privacy," I said, turning my face to the side, so I wouldn't have to face a naked Rose.

"And here I was thinking you were gay," she said laughing.

"Not you too!" I said, pushing my hands over my eyes.

"Just stop being such a drama queen and go after your girl, whoever that person is," she said after putting one of my brother's football jerseys on.

"That's it? That's your precious advice?" I asked, annoyed.

"No, this is my advice: stop being a pussy and start getting some," she said, before turning off the video chat.

"Bitch!" I said to myself, before looking at the screen clock and seeing it was almost time for our family dinner.

"Oh joy," I said, turning off my screen.

* * *

"Esme you are looking lovely as always," my uncle Andrew said, giving my mother a tight hug.

"I try my best," she said with a warm smile.

"Honey, stop trying to flirt with your brother's wife," my aunt Catherine said before hugging my mother at the front door.

"Boys will always be boys," my mother said, laughing with my aunt.

"I guess some of them just never grow up," Alice said from the hall.

"Alice, you are looking lovely. I love your dress" my mom said, before hugging my cousin.

"It's an Issa London dress," Alice said with pride.

"Isn't she the Brazilian designer that made the dress that Kate Middleton wore when she announced she was engaged to Prince William?" my mom asked.

"The same and only! My dad bought it for me when he was in London last month," Alice said with a big smile on her lips.

"Only the best for my princess," he said before coming in my direction to shake my hand.

**(sets on my polyvore account)**

"Edward," he said, grabbing my hand.

"Uncle Andrew," I said, shaking his hand.

"How have you been my boy?" he asked.

"The same old," I said.

"How's your brother?" he asked me.

"Really great. California is great for him," I said with a smile.

"Sunshine and parties. I can't see how that wouldn't make him happy," he said with a laugh.

"We have those here. He didn't need to go to the other side of country for that," my mom said, clearly missing Emmett more than she let show.

"UCLA was the best choice for Emmett. That's what matters," my dad said, walking into the living room.

"Little brother," my uncle Andrew said to my father.

"Andrew," my father said before walking to the liquor cabinet to offer the adults a glass of Brandy.

While I watched them talk, I could notice just a few similarities between my father and my uncle–their light blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin–but besides that they were totally different. My father was very formal, distant and discrete. While my uncle Andrew was a charmer, funny and lovely. He was the biggest shower of PDA that I had ever met. And I'd lived with Emmett for 17 years!

My uncle was a very loving person. He and my aunt were in an eternal love affair, and Alice was their little princess. It always surprised me that they only had one child. I think if they could they would have had their own little army of children.

"So you seem in a better mood," Alice said, before taking a sip of her soda.

"Yeah, I suppose," I said stretching my fingers.

"What is going on Edward?" she asked with a worried face.

"I'm fine Ally. Nothing is going on," I said looking at the floor rug.

"I mean, with you and Bella," she said lowly, so no one but us would hear it.

"Nothing is going on between us," I said with sadness.

"That's crap Edward. And you know it," she said with an annoyed look.

"I really don't want to talk about it," I said leaving the room and going to the kitchen.

"I don't really understand. I thought after I set you guys up you two would hit it off," she said.

"Guess you thought wrong then," I said, taking another glass of soda.

"I wonder why that would be. You two had everything to work it out until someone had a psychotic attack," she said angrily.

"Alice, she doesn't want me," I said emphasizing each word.

"And how do you know?" she asked me.

"I just do," I said not looking at her.

"If you weren't such a coward and stopped watching your life pass before your eyes, you might actually start living it," she said.

"What exactly do you expect me to do, Alice?" I said.

"Start acting like a man and not like a lost little boy! How about that?" she said, before going to the dining room and leaving me alone one more time.

* * *

I spent the night thinking about my cousin's words. Did I really turn into a little brat? Had I lost my chance with Bella because I was being an idiot? I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I may have lost because of my idiotic behavior.

The next day I was out the bed before my alarm clock went off. I barely showered and soon found myself in blue jeans, a white shirt and old converses. I was out of the house before I could even blink.

All the way over to Robert E. Lee High I kept thinking about all the rude things I had said to her, about my terrible behavior, how I had not treated her like the lady that she is. I bet she hated me, she should hate me after the way I acted. I hated myself.

I soon parked my Volvo and ran to the Biology class. I knew that she liked to arrive early so she could sit in the quiet room, and get lost in her books. Even when I tried to avoid her I couldn't stop noticing the small details that made her so special. Like how she always bit her lip when she was reading something really interesting, or how her bangs fell over her face, or how she always sang to herself even if there was no music.

In that moment I was sure that I was in love with Bella Swan.

As I opened the classroom door I saw her there, hair falling, covering her delicate face, her headphones on and her legs moving in the air to the beat of the music. To me, she'd never been more beautiful.

"Bella," I said softly walking in her direction.

She looked back at me from her magazine, taking out one ear phone at a time, and looking at me with a firm stare.

"Do you need something Edward?" she asked me coldly.

"I actually wanted to talk to you," I said, pushing my backpack from one shoulder blade to the other.

"To talk about us," I said quietly.

"Us? There is no us, Edward," she said seeming irritated.

"That's not true, Bella," I said in a very slow voice, finding a muddy spot on my converses extremely interesting to look at.

"That's exactly what it is, Edward. You've made that pretty clear over and over," she said.

"I…" I got lost on my words. There was so much that I wanted to tell her, so much I needed to expose, to let her know how deep my feelings were and how afraid I was to have my heart broken. But no words would come out.

"That's it? You're just going to stand there and not say anything about it?" she asked angrily.

"I'm sorry." That was the only thing that I was able to say, before I left as fast as my uncoordinated feet would take me.

* * *

"You seem distracted today," Mr. Grey told me–pointing to the note I'd missed. I never missed notes.

"I'm sorry," I said, taking my hands off the keyboard.

"Is something troubling you, Edward?" he asked me, with a concerned look in his hazel eyes.

"I am just having a bad day," I said, starting to play the piece right from the beginning.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked me.

"Not particularly," I answered, not wanting to think about Bella right now.

"Then maybe you should write about it," he said, grabbing my worn out leather music notebook and giving me a pencil.

"You want me to write a song out of nowhere?" I asked, taking the items from him.

"You are a musician, Edward. Some of the world's most amazing music pieces were written in moments of great sadness. Maybe this is what you need to take all this pain off your chest," he said touching my shoulder with his hand.

"I will give you some privacy," he said before leaving the music room.

I sat there and thought about all that had happened since Isabella Swan had moved to Jacksonville and how she had changed everything. I thought about how lonely I had been–not just because my brother had moved away, but also because I had been a loner for so long that I didn't know how to be anything else–I thought about how much I didn't want to miss my chance with her.

I started writing, thinking about our previous encounter, of all the things I really wanted to say to her and simply couldn't say out loud, about all my fears, about my loneliness, and especially about all my love for her.

Before I knew it hours had passed and I had written a song for her. For my Bella. And in that moment I knew I may have my second chance with her.

I was sitting on my stool, very nervous to be here for the first time in my entire life. This place had always been a source of comfort and peace. But today all of that might change, all it would take would be her walking through that door.

I had left a small note inside her locker, asking her to meet me here, saying that I would explain everything that she wanted to know, I just needed a few minutes of her time.

I stood there looking at my newly written piece of sheet music, my fingers anxious to touch the cold keys and for the music to speak to her.

The sound of the door of the auditorium being opened brought me back to reality. She was there, walking down the pathway that led to the main stage.

"I'm here. Talk," she said standing there.

"I need you to listen," I said with a soft smile.

"I am listening Edward," she said rolling her eyes at me.

"No, Bella, I need you to listen," I said, showing her the piano.

"Ok," she said, suspiciously sitting in the front row.

I took a deep breath and started playing the notes.

And soon my voice was being mixed in the soft melody of the piano.

_**In The Arms of an Angel **_

_Spend all your time waiting for that second chance  
For the break that will make it ok  
There's always some reason to feel not good enough  
And it's hard at the end of the day  
I need some distraction oh beautiful release  
Memories seep from my veins  
They may be empty and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight_

_In the arms of an Angel fly away from here_  
_From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear_  
_You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie_  
_You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here_

_So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn_  
_There's vultures and thieves at your back_  
_The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies_  
_That you make up for all that you lack_  
_It don't make no difference, escaping one last time_  
_It's easier to believe_  
_In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness_  
_That brings me to my knees_

_In the arms of an Angel far away from here_  
_From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear_  
_You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie_  
_In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here_

_You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here_

_( _w w w . youtube watch?v=7CbAjj80NIM )

As I played the last note, my hands fell off the keyboard and into my lap. My heart was beating so fast and my fingers were trembling.

I sat there for what felt like an eternity, not daring to look in her direction, too fearful that she may have hated this, and that it was really over.

But before I could drown myself in self pity and suffering, I smelled her sweet perfume and felt her breath on my skin.

Her soft hands touched my face, and before I could react her lips were softly touching mine. It was so much different from our other kiss. This one was soft, gentle, delicate. It was a soft caress. This was full of emotion, and not passion, but a longing for each other. It felt like a soft breeze and the first sun light in the morning. It was perfect.

"This is how our first kiss should have been," she said softly, her eyes full of emotion.

And in that moment for the very first time I felt content.

* * *

**A/N: And here it is, the first step for our lovely couple!**

**Let me know what you guys think and give me soem love! Reviews make me type faster!**

**xx**

**C.**


	11. Just A Kiss

**Chapter 11 – Just a Kiss**

**A/N: Enjoy the show and check it out my polyvore account for the sets for this story!Link on my profile!**

* * *

**BPOV**

Ever since Alice's last visit to my house I couldn't sleep. All my dreams were foggy memories of a past that I had been running from and didn't want to go back to. My mother kept talking about how I was giving away a gift from God and how ungrateful and stubborn I was being. At one point she even compared me to old Charlie Swan – that man really had a hard head – but a heart of gold. That was what she said to me.

So I suppose it was easy to understand why I was so eager to leave the house. Even the god damned high school was better than standing in the same house as my mom, having the same discussion that we had been having for the past year. And in that moment I realized that there were more important and annoying things in life then being avoided by Edward Cullen.

I guess that's why I found myself in that same lab room, at the same table, where all this ridiculous infatuation of mine had begun. I sat there, headphones on, a magazine in my hands, but my mind was so far away.

"Bella," a whisper in the air.

I looked from my magazine to the sound of that voice, taking out one ear phone at a time, and looking at him with a firm stare. He wasn't exactly my favorite person right now.

"Do you need something Edward?" I asked coldly.

"I actually wanted to talk to you," he said, pushing his backpack from one shoulder blade to the other, one of many nervous habits that he had.

"To talk about us," he said quietly, barely looking at my eyes.

"Us? There is no us, Edward," I said feeling more annoyed by the second.

"That's not true, Bella," he said in a very slow voice looking everywhere else but at me.

"That's exactly what it is, Edward. You've made that pretty clear over and over," I replied, feeling my heart break a little bit more.

"I…" he started to say, but no words would come out of his mouth. Not the ones I so desperately wanted to hear.

"That's it? You're just going to stand there and not say anything about it?" I said, feeling the angry tears starting to form in my eyes.

"I'm sorry." Those were the only words that I heard from Edward Cullen.

* * *

After the little show that Edward put on before our Biology class he disappeared for the rest of the day. I didn't know if it made me happier to not have to face him, or hurt because he kept avoiding me. I guess I had never been ignored before.

So it was a full surprise when on Wednesday I found in my locker a small note, written on ripped notebook paper.

'_Please, give me one more chance to talk to you. I promise you I'll explain everything._

_Meet me in the auditorium at 2 p. m. – Today. Please._

_E.'_

That was how I found myself going to the only place in the world where Edward seemed to feel safe. Not so long ago I'd had a very similar place, where I could hide from the entire world and no one could touch me.

I opened the double doors and saw him sitting on his wood bench, his eyes closed, his hands running over his pants; he seemed nervous. I walked down the pathway that led to the main stage and I couldn't stop thinking about how glorious Edward looked next to that piano.

"I'm here. Talk," I said standing there, my arms wrapped around me in a protective way.

"I need you to listen," he said with a soft smile.

"I am listening Edward," I said rolling my eyes at him.

"No, Bella, I need you to listen," he said, pointing at the big black piano.

"Ok," I said with suspicion, sitting in the front row.

He took a deep breath and started to play the most beautiful melody I had ever heard.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was opening up about himself, about his life, about his feelings, not just for me but for his entire existence. I could feel his pain, how low he thought about himself, how little he saw how clearly amazing he was.

He was so beautiful. Inside and out. And I couldn't let him think for another second that he wasn't worth it. In that moment I knew that I was really in love with Edward Cullen.

Soon the sweet melody stopped echoing around the room. His hands fell to his lap, his breathing was shallow and I could see his hands were shaking.

He sat there unmoving, looking like he was frozen in place. I knew he was that nervous because of me. And I knew that my words were never going to really show him what I was feeling. So I did the only thing I knew could show him how much I actually cared.

I walked over to his side and sat next to him on that wooden bench. The smell of his cologne permeated the air. Leather and Musk.

I touched his face, which had a soft growing beard. His lips were half parted and before I knew it my lips were over his hard ones. Different from our first kiss, this one was slow and soft. It didn't have the rushed feeling that I'd had on that night at the beach. It was so much more. I felt not only deep passion and desire, but also love. It lasted only a few seconds-but it was enough. I knew that after this day I would never be able to hide from my feelings.

"This is how our first kiss should have been," I said softly, my lips millimeters from his.

"Bella," he said, touching my hair, looking like he couldn't believe I was actually there.

"I really like your beard like this…" I started to say, but the music ringing from my phone broke the spell of the moment. "Fuck."

"_I don't need to try to control you  
Look into my eyes and I'll own you  
With them moves like Jagger  
I've got the moves like Jagger  
I've got the moooooves like Jagger"_

"Hey, Mom," I said answering the phone.

"Isabella where are you? I thought you were coming home right after school," she said.

"I'm sorry, I got caught up with some things," I said, looking at Edward, who had a little smirk on his lips.

"Well, then don't come home too late. I promised Claire that the three of us would spend some time together today. Your sister misses you," she said.

"Ok, I'm coming home soon. I've got to go now. No, I won't stay late. Bye, Mother," I said-annoyed that she had interrupted such a perfect moment like this-before hanging up my cell phone.

"I guess I kept you here longer than you expected," Edward said with a soft smile.

"I think we can say that," I said with a malicious smile.

"I am really glad you came," he said, touching my hand.

"I am too," I said. I couldn't believe how much my luck could change in a day.

"Listen, Bella, I know that we did things a little backwards, but I was thinking. If you'd like, I mean, I really would be honored if you agreed. I mean," he said too quickly for me to actually understand what he wanted.

"Calm down, Piano Boy. What exactly do you want to ask me?" I asked, touching his soft _5 o'clock shadow._

"Would you like to go out with me on Saturday?" he took a deep breath and asked, his cheeks a little red and his head down.

"Really?" I asked before I could stop myself, shocked.

"Yeah, I mean you don't have to say yes. Of course you don't. Really forget I even said anything," he said, trying to get up and run like he always did when things seemed to get hard.

"Edward, stop. You don't have to ask me out just because we kissed you know," I said feeling self conscious–thinking that he might have felt obligated to ask me out.

"I have wanted to ask you this for a really long time. Ever since I first set my eyes on you. So, Isabella Swan, will you do me the extraordinary honor of going out with me?" he asked, looking a little bit concerned about my answer.

"I would love to," I said with a small smile.

"So, I guess I'll pick you up at your house around 7 pm on Saturday. I mean, if that's ok with you?" he asked

"I would like that. Give me your cell," I said, reaching for his Iphone.

"Here," he gave it to me without a blink.

"Now you have my number and I have yours," I said, dialing my number from his phone so it would stay recorded.

"You can send me your address later then," he said with a smile.

"Yeah. Well I have to go. I promised my mom I wouldn't be late," I said getting up from the piano bench.

"See you later then," he said, looking a little embarrassed and not knowing what to do.

"Bye," I said, giving him a soft peck on the lips before grabbing my bag and leaving the auditorium.

* * *

"So, what do you think is more date like, a dress or pants?" I asked both Claire and Alice who were sitting on my bed while I looked at my clothing options.

"I still think you should dress like a princess," Claire said, looking at my party dresses.

"Claire this is a date, not prom," I said laughing at my innocent little sister.

"She does have a point you know. Edward is very gentlemanly, he does deserve some bit of magic," Alice said winking at me.

"I might wear a dress then" I said, putting my tight jeans back in my closet and looking at my dresses.

"I like this one," Claire pointed out a floral print one shoulder dress.

"It is quite romantic I suppose," I said, looking at myself with the dress in front of the mirror.

"Oh God, that dress is so 'I'm meeting the parents' and not hot date like," Alice said with a sigh.

"Don't you think Edward is going to like it?" I asked her, full of doubt.

"Of course he is going to like it. He would think you were the most beautiful woman on the planet even if you wore a potato sack over your head," she said laughing.

"Well then, Anna Wintour, what would you pick?" I said, putting back the floral dress.

"Well, let's see what we have here," Alice said, before starting to run over all my clothes.

"Can I pick the shoes?" Claire asked, looking with love at my heels collection.

"Sure kiddo," I said to Claire.

"Aha, how about this one?" Alice said, showing me a fitted tubular black dress.

"Really Ally, that's the best you can do? Find my 'little black dress'?" I asked, feeling frustrated.

"I find your lack of faith in ME disturbing," Alice said, before running over the accessories that were on my vanity.

"I like these ones," Claire said, carrying a pair of turquoise Suede platform high heels.

"Nice choice kid," Alice said, grabbing the shoes from Claire.

"Those are really high," I said, thinking about how long it had been since I had last worn those shoes.

"It's your first date with Edward – You have to look your best," Alice said, grabbing a big golden and turquoise necklace, small golden stud earrings and two small golden spike bracelets.

**(outfit on my polyvore account, check out the link on my profile)**

"Wow," I said, amazed that all those items from my closet had formed such a gorgeous outfit.

"Now go have a nice shower and wash your hair. We have only two hours for me to work on my masterpiece," Alice said, pushing me in direction of the bathroom.

* * *

"Wow, stop there young lady. Where do you think you are going dressed like that?" I heard John ask when I finished walking down the stairs.

"Out," I said with a smile, knowing it would annoy him to death.

"Out with whom? When? Where to? If you don't mind me asking of course," he said with sarcasm, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Actually I do mind," I said, looking in the hall mirror to see if my make up was still intact.

"Can I at least know where you are going?" he said with a smirk.

"Actually I don't know," I said with a smile.

"What do you mean you don't know?" he asked with suspicion.

"John, let her be. Stop trying to play the over protective step father. You look amazing honey," my mother said with a smile.

"Thank you, Mother," I said, looking inside of my clutch for my lip gloss.

"Here, Bella," Claire said, walking down the stairs carrying my lip gloss in her hands.

"Thanks kiddo," I said, before applying one more coat on my pink lips.

The door bell rang and Claire ran to the door.

"I'll get it!" she said, running too fast for any one of us to stop her.

"Claire Ann Williams! What have I told you about answering the door for strangers?" my mom shouted, running after Claire.

"Hello, I'm sorry to disturb you, but is Bella here?" I heard somebody ask.

"Are you a prince?" Claire asked, totally mesmerized by the stranger at the door.

"Um no, sorry, my name is Edward Cullen," Edward said, standing there at the front door.

He looked amazing wearing a pair of fitted dark blue jeans, a grey shirt with the sleeves up to his elbows and dark brown boots.

**(outfit on my polyvore account, check out the link on my profile)**

"Oh you're Bella's boyfriend," she said with a big smile.

"Bella has a boyfriend?" John asked with shock.

"Um, I'm here to pick her up," Edward said looking more and more nervous.

"Hello son," John said, opening the door for Edward to walk in.

"Hi Mr. Swan, I'm Edward Cullen," he said, offering his hand for John to shake.

"It's Mr. William's," John said with a cold stare. That was so not fair; Edward had no idea about Charlie.

"I'm sorry, Sir," Edward said, his cheeks starting to get red from embarrassment.

"Hey Edward," I said, walking to the door.

"Wow, you look amazing," he said, looking at me from head to toe.

"Thank you," I said blushing.

"These are for you," he said giving me the most beautiful bouquet of white lilies.

"They are gorgeous. Come on in so I can put these in water," I said, walking in the direction of the kitchen.

"Hello there, I am Mrs. Williams, Bella's mom. So kids, what are the plans for tonight?" my mom said politely.

"Um nothing too fancy," Edward said looking quiet embarrassed in front of my family.

"Nothing that will make Bella stay out really late I hope," John said.

"No Sir," Edward answered quickly.

"And what would this night entail then?" he asked, trying to look tough. I wondered if Charlie would have acted the same way if he was here.

"Just dinner and a movie sir," Edward said.

"Which movie?" John asked, trying to press Edward.

"Ok I think this is enough," I said, leading Edward back to the hall with me.

"You wait there, Isabella," John said, trying to make me stop walking out the door.

"I promise I will be home before midnight and I have my phone on. Don't worry guys. Good night," I said, grabbing Edward's hand and leading him to the sidewalk next to his Volvo.

"Here," Edward said, before opening the car's door for me.

"Thank you. It's nice to know that chivalry is not dead," I said with a smile.

"Nothing but the best for you," he said after getting inside the car.

* * *

"Oh my God, I can't believe you made me watch that," I said, leaving the theater.

"You have to admit it's a great movie," Edward said with his hand on the small of my back.

"It's about aliens," I said with sarcasm.

"There are many movies about them," he said with a smile.

"You're missing the point here, Edward – this is about The Alien," I said with desperation.

"What about it?" he asked, laughing.

"I hate those things, I have since I was a little girl," I told him, remembering how many nightmares I'd had thanks to that disgusting thing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was going to show it. And besides the creature only appeared in the last 20 seconds of the movie. It wasn't so bad," he said, trying to cheer me up.

"Trust me, it was enough," I said, acting like a petulant child.

"Look, Bella, I'm really sorry, how can I make it up to you?" he asked me.

"Well for starters, you could come and hold me while I sleep – you know, to make sure I won't have any bad dreams about a disgusting Alien trying to kill me," I said, grabbing his hands tightly with mine.

"Are you flirting with me Ms. Swan?" he asked, all his shyness long forgotten.

"Maybe," I said, hoping this was going to lead to the kiss that I had been waiting for since we'd gotten in that movie theater.

"How about dinner first?" he said, leading me back to the car.

* * *

We ended up having dinner at a fancy place called Bistro Aix on San Marco Boulevard.

"I will have the grilled tuna," I said putting down my menu.

"AndSteak Frites for me," Edward said, giving our orders to the waiter.

"So, beef hmm?" I teased.

"What can I say? I need my protein. Or so my brother Emmett would have said," he said laughing.

"Oh the famous Emmett Cullen," I said, wishing I could have met such an important person in Edward's life.

"Yeah, I guess he's got himself quiet a legacy," he said, taking a sip of his orange juice.

"I don't give a damn about his reputation. I only care what he means to you," I said.

"Thanks, I suppose," he said with a fake smile.

"Did I say something wrong?" I asked with caution.

"Never mind. So, want to share with me why I thought Mr. Williams was your dad?" he asked with curiosity.

"It's a long story," I said, not really wanting to talk about my father.

"We have time," he said.

"My father was a cop, and he died in duty when I was six years old. A few years later my mom met John, and the rest is history," I said shortening the magical tale about how my mother found love one more time. It's not that I didn't like John, I adored the dude, but he was Claire's dad. Not mine.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't know," he said with a sad look.

"It's ok Edward. It's been a really long time," I told him, running my hands over my stylist curls.

"Anyway it was not my place to bring it up," he said.

"It's ok. You deserve it after what John pulled off," I said, feeling quite ashamed that he had been all 'daddy like' over me meeting a guy. It wasn't like I had never dated before.

"It wasn't that bad," he said with a smile.

"Really? I thought he might start interrogating you right at our front door. He's never done that before," I said.

"Maybe he feels he should do what your dad would have liked to do," Edward said with a sad smile.

"Maybe. I think my dad probably would have pulled the recorded of every guy that even showed the smallest interest in me," I said laughing.

"I bet there would be a long list to check," he said to me.

"Then I guess you are lucky that I decided you're a great candidate," I said, flirting.

"Good to know that I'm up to your standards," he said with a shy smile.

"You have no idea," I said, before the waiter arrived with our food and words were forgotten for a while.

* * *

It was 11: 35 pm and Edward had promised to bring be home before curfew. I guess he was more afraid of John than he wanted to admit, or maybe he just wanted to leave a nice first impression. Who knew? The only thing I was absolutely certain of was that it was the end of our date and I had yet to receive my kiss.

"Can I change the song?" I asked, tired of listening to his depressive repertoire.

"Sure," he said, not looking from the road. I guess you could say that Edward was a responsible driver.

"Let's see what we have here," I said, running through his IPod song selection.

"Who knew, Lady Gaga, really?" I asked laughing. Who knew my sweet Edward was a pop diva.

"She reminds me of you," he said with a smile.

"Why? Do you think I'll wear a beef dress anytime soon?" I asked laughing.

"I sure as hell hope not. It's silly actually," he said looking embarrassed.

"Come on, tell me," I said, still running through his music list.

"That party at the beach. When I arrived you were dancing to that song," he said softly.

"I really like that song," I said, remembering exactly what had happened at that party. It was one of the best and one of the worst nights of my life.

"God, I love this song," I said, stopping to change the song.

"Me too," he said, looking right at me.

_**Just a Kiss - **__**Lady Antebellum**_

_Lyin' here with you so close to me_  
_It's hard to fight these feelings_  
_When it feels so hard to breathe_  
_I'm caught up in this moment_  
_Caught up in your smile_

_I've never opened up to anyone_  
_So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms_  
_We don't need to rush this_  
_Let's just take it slow_

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_  
_Just a touch in the fire burning so bright_  
_And I don't want to mess this thing up_  
_I don't want to push too far_  
_Just a shot in the dark that you just might_  
_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life_  
_So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight_

_I know that if we give this a little time_  
_It will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find_  
_It's never felt so real_  
_No, it's never felt so right_

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_  
_Just a touch in the fire burning so bright_  
_And I don't want to mess this thing up_  
_I don't wanna push too far_  
_Just a shot in the dark that you just might_  
_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life_  
_So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight_

_No I don't wanna say goodnight_  
_I know it's time to leave_  
_But you'll be in my dreams_  
_Tonight_  
_Tonight_  
_Tonight_

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_  
_Just a touch in the fire burning so bright_  
_And I don't want to mess this thing up_  
_I don't wanna push too far_  
_Just a shot in the dark that you just might_  
_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life_  
_So baby I'm alright_

_Oh, let's do this right_  
_With just a kiss goodnight_  
_With a kiss goodnight_  
_Kiss goodnight_

Before the song was even over the car had stopped in front of my house. The ride had gone too fast. I hadn't even enjoyed it like I should have. Would I have another chance like tonight? I could barely handle all the emotions that that one song had brought up in me.

"I don't wanna say goodnight," Edward said to me, his eyes full of emotion.

"Then don't," I said, softly touching his lips with my own.

Each time I kissed Edward Cullen my life seemed to get a little bit brighter. A little bit easier. A little bit happier. I hadn't felt happy for a long time.

His lips were firmer this time, his hands fell from my curls to my face, gently touching my skin, and going down to my thin neck. His body was tightly pressed against my own - at least as much as the tiny space of the car allowed – and I could feel him.

His body was much harder than I would have imagined. His touch was strong and determined, yet very tender and soft. Like I was another smooth melody that he was discovering. And never had I felt more loved by a man than in that moment.

I was feeling really hot, and I started to feel the tightness deep inside of me. Edward Cullen was really making me wet.

"God, Bella," he said between kisses, his lips softly sucking the pale skin of my neck. My hands running over his soft hair, pushing his flesh against my own, I felt like I was burning. I didn't want to stop.

"Could you please get your hands off my daughter," a very angry John Williams said, pushing on the car's glass.

"Oh fuck me," I said, being cock blocked by my own step dad.

Why did this shit always happen to me?

* * *

A/N: Ok,so here we go! I must say that I probably will update once a week, probably on the weekends!

I also want to say tks to all the amazing reviews that I had recived,each one of them makes me want to write a little bit more!

Also my love for my Girls Y. and A. for helping me to write a kick ass story!

Just let me know what you guys do think about it!

xoxo

C.


	12. Paradise

**Chapter 12 – Paradise**

**A/N: I hope you guys like it and let me know what you think!**

* * *

**EPOV**

"I don't wanna say goodnight," I said to Bella, my heart beating so fast it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.

"Then don't," she softly said before her luscious lips descended on mine, sealing our perfect night with a kiss.

She wore the same peach lip gloss, the same jasmine perfume, yet she felt like a whole different person. Each time I got closer to Isabella Swan she became a little bit more real, a little bit more amazing, and a little bit more perfect.

I couldn't just not touch her perfect pale skin. My hands fell from her soft hair to her cheeks, feeling the softness of her face, going to her elegant neck. Our bodies were pressed closely together, her hands running over my messy hair, her breathing just as deep as mine.

"God, Bella," I moaned against her lips, before sucking softly her neck. The taste of her skin was overwhelming.

All I wanted was just to get lost in this feeling. Never had I felt more alive than in that moment.

"Could you please get your hands off my daughter?" a very angry John Williams said, pushing his hands against the car's glass.

"Oh fuck me," Bella said, her hands dropping from my face with a shocked expression.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you'd better get out of this car this instant," Bella's stepdad shouted from the other side of the glass.

"This is fucking ridiculous," Bella said, looking annoyed.

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling self conscious and trying to hide the big tent that had formed in my pants.

"Listen here young lady, if you don't get in here in one minute I swear to God you are going to wish that I had only taken your car from you," John said in a hard tone.

"What the hell are you thinking? You are not my fucking father!" Bella shouted, storming out of the Volvo.

"Well, I think he would have done the same thing if he was here," Mr. William's said, looking more furious by the second.

"You don't know shit. You have no idea what kind of man my father was!" she shouted, looking totally out of her mind.

"One more word and your car, Iphone, credit card, Internet, and TV are cut off for the rest of your life" he shouted back at her.

"I fucking hate you!" Bella shouted, her eyes full of angry tears.

"I would be doing a really lousy job as a parent if you didn't!" he shouted back.

She looked back at me with apology in her eyes before taking off to the inside of the house. Leaving me alone with a very pissed John Williams. Who apparently thought I was fucking molesting his stepdaughter on his front step. Fucking great.

"Get out of the car," he said calmly, his arms crossed over his chest, not moving from the spot where he and Bella had just had a huge argument.

That was enough to cut off my boner. I think my dick really wanted to crawl back inside my body to hide in fear.

"Yes, sir," I said, taking off my seat belt and opening the car door.

"So, Edwin," he said with scorn.

"It's Edward, Sir," I said, hoping this would end quickly.

"Ok Edgard, let me say just one small thing to you. If you think you are going to fuck my little girl and let her fall to pieces after, you have another thing coming," John said firmly.

"No sir, I have no intentions of doing such things. I only have the most honorable intentions with Bella," I said quickly.

"Really? And that's how you show it? Trying to take advantage of her in front of my god damned house?" he asked rashly.

"No sir, I adore Bella. I just want to be close to her," I tried to explain, my hands starting to shake really badly.

"Are you trying to say you two are in a serious relationship?" he asked.

"Well, you see. I would really like to, but I don't actually…" I rambled, not sure how to put together what was going on between Bella and myself. Anything I tried to tell him would only make me look like an asshole.

"For God's sake boy, it's really simple. Are you or are you not dating my stepdaughter?" he asked his eyes full of a mix of anger and worry.

"I'm not sure sir, but I would love to," I said with honesty, hoping this would be enough.

"Well then, I guess that we should try to figure this out don't you think?" he said.

"I suppose," I said nervously, looking down at my brown shoes.

"Come tomorrow night for dinner, and then let's see how serious this thing between you and Isabella is," he said looking quite smug.

"Yes, sir," I said, turning back to my car, trying to leave this waking nightmare.

"And Eduardo, don't be late," he said, before walking back to Bella's house and firmly closing the door.

* * *

The next morning I woke up earlier than usual and with an inexplicable desire to play. I walked down the stairs, happy to see that my parents were still in bed, and that I would have some time alone.

I quickly made a cup of coffee for me and walked down to my studio.

I turned on the lights and my recording instruments. Today I wanted to play something different from the usual.

I choose the track and mixed the sound of the other instruments before sitting on my piano bench.

My hands fell on the spent piano keys and the recording room was filled with music.

**Paradise - Coldplay**

_When she was just a girl  
She expected the world  
But it flew away from her reach so  
She ran away in her sleep  
And dreamed of  
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise  
Every time she closed her eyes_

_When she was just a girl_  
_She expected the world_  
_But it flew away from her reach_  
_And the bullets catch in her teeth_  
_Life goes on, it gets so heavy_  
_The wheel breaks the butterfly_  
_Every tear a waterfall_  
_In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes_  
_In the night the stormy night away she'd fly_

_And dreams of_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh_  
_She'd dream of_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh_

_La-la-la-la-la-la-la_  
_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la_  
_And so lying underneath those stormy skies_  
_She'd say, "oh, ohohohoh I know the sun must set to rise"_

_This could be_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_This could be_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh_  
_This could be_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_This could be_  
_Para-para-paradise_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-o_h

**(If you would like to see how this would go, here is the link of a Coldplay live concer . **** watch?v=TM-ejaxt_Xw )**

"Well it's nice to see you play something happier for a change," my mother said from the stairs.

"Mom, what are you doing up so early?" I asked, kind of embarrassed that my mom had heard me sing.

"The smell of coffee woke me up," she said, sitting on the white couch across the wall.

"Damn coffee," I murmured to myself.

"What is it dear?" she asked with a smile.

"Nothing, Mom," I said, before turning off the recorder.

"So, are you going to tell me how it was?" she asked excited.

"It was ok. It's no big deal," I said, trying not to bring up last night.

"Come on, Edward, I thought you were crazy about this girl?" she said confused, probably remembering how nervous I was before picking up Bella last night.

"I am," I said with honesty.

"Then, what's the big deal?" she asked with concern.

"It's nothing actually. I guess I am just too inexperienced," I told her.

"Oh, well then… it's perfectly normal for you to feel certain things in some particular moments…" she started to say, and I was sure she was feeling as embarrassed as I was.

"Mom, no, Jesus," I said, getting up from my bench.

"Honey, I think it's time for us to have this talk," she said, holding her silk robe tightly.

"Mother, you know I have lived with Emmett my entire life right?" I said with sarcasm.

"Edward, you can talk to me about this stuff. I know that with Emm away you feel like you have no one else to talk to. And it should be your father to have this kind of conversation with you, but since you two are not close I thought I should help you with this subject," she said, her ears starting to get a little bit red with embarrassment.

"Mom, don't worry. Emm told me everything I wanted and didn't want to know. Trust me," I told her, remembering how much of my brother's sex escapades I'd had to endure through the years.

"Oh well, then in that case why are you so nervous?" she said, looking rather relieved to not have to have 'The Talk' with me.

"It's not sex that I'm nervous about," I said, scratching the back of my neck. That was not even on my mind at that moment. I mean, it was, but I knew it wasn't a real possibility.

"What then?" she asked.

"I'm going to meet the parents," I said, trying not to remember how I almost peed in my pants when John knocked on the Volvo's window.

"Oh that's wonderful. It means the date went really well," she said, excited.

"It did," I said, remembering how happy I had been last night.

"Then why the sad face?" she asked.

"Bella's stepfather, kind of caught us in a bad position," I said, feeling my face bright red with embarrassment.

"Edward Masen Cullen, have I never taught you well? What were you thinking? Bella is a lady and should be treated as such," my mother said, clearly thinking I had done bad things with Bella.

"Mom, it's nothing like that. We were just kissing good bye," I said quickly.

"With your clothes on I hope," she said with suspicion.

"Of course," I replied.

"You'd better not be lying to me, Edward," she said firmly.

"I'm not Emmett, Mom. I would never do that to her. I adore Bella," I said. I remembered how tight she'd made my pants become, but it didn't mean my feelings for her weren't real.

"So let me see if I've got this straight. You like Bella, you guys had an amazing date and kissed, but her stepdad saw you guys kissing. And now you are having dinner with them?" she asked, confused as to what might have upset me.

"John was really pissed when he caught us kissing," I said sadly.

"And what Edward? You're both 18 years old. It's no crime to kiss as far as I know," she said laughing at my nerves.

"I just don't want her family to see me as a bad influence. I actually want them to like me," I said in a sad tone.

"You are an amazing young man. There is no reason they wouldn't adore you honey," she said.

"I just don't even know what to do," I told her.

"I think I just had an idea. Come with me," she said walking up the stairs.

What was Mrs. Cullen going to do now?

* * *

It was around 7 pm when I walked up the small stairs that led to Bella's front porch. The lights of the living room and dining room were on, and I could hear the movement inside of the house.

"Hello, Edward," Mrs. Williams said, opening the door for me to come in.

"Hello, Mrs. Williams," I said, looking around the hall for a sign of Bella.

"Well you are looking quite handsome tonight," she said, pointing at my dark blue jeans, plaid black and white shirt and black blazer. It was freaking hot to be wearing a blazer at this time of the year but I wanted to leave a good impression.

"You are looking quite lovely also, Mrs. Williams," I said, trying to use my brother's famous smile. He used to say that it always worked to make the females around him more docile.

"Oh this old thing," she said, looking down at her blue dress and nude high heels.

"This is for you," I said, handing her the plate I was holding.

"A cherry pie? You didn't have to," she said with a smile. I guess my mom's advice was right after all.

"It's my pleasure," I said with a small smile.

"Hello, Edmund. I'm glad to see you are here on time," John said, coming from his study.

"Yes sir, there is nowhere else I would like to be tonight," I said trying to look polite even if I still couldn't look him right in the eyes.

"You don't say," he answered with a smirk.

"Edward!" I heard Bella's little sister screaming and running in my direction.

"Hey there," I said with a smile. She was the cutest little girl I had ever met.

"What took you so long? I have been waiting for you for hours," she said with a pout.

"Oh really?" I asked with a laugh.

"Did you like my dress?" she said, spinning around to show me her pink floral dress.

"It's lovely. And nice shoes," I said, remembering how the ladies always wanted to be complemented on the small details.

"Thank you," she said with a big smile.

"Already trying to hit on my little sister Edward? How rude of you," Bella said, walking down the stairs.

"Wow, you are ... you are … looking … great," I said trying to find the right words to describe how gorgeous she was as I looked her up and down, from her tight ripped blue skinny jeans, to her red wedge shoes to her one shoulder white blouse.

**(all the outfit sets are on my polyvore account – link on my profile)**

"You're not looking so bad either," she said, grabbing my black blazer's lapel.

"Glad to see we are all so happy to see Edmin. Now let's go eat," John said annoyed, walking to the dining room.

"It´s Edward daddy. You are so silly sometimes" a laughing Claire said to John.

"We made Italian for you, Edward," Bella's mom said to me.

"Thank you, Mrs. Williams," I said with appreciation.

"Come on, you can call me Renée," she said with a smile, pointing to my place at the dinner table.

"Come sit beside me, Edward," Claire said, pulling me next to her, her long curly light brown hair moving around her pretty face, her hair band slightly falling over with the movement.

"I'm going to get the lasagna, dear. Isabella, come help me please," Renée said, before leaving for the kitchen with Bella right after her.

"I want to help too," a, impatient Claire said before running after the girls. Leaving me all alone with John.

"So Edwin, I can see that you've got all my girls under some kind of spell," John said with a cold glare.

"No sir, I'm just trying to be nice," I said, looking down at my lap, twisting a napkin in my fingers.

"Nice, sure," he said lowly, but not low enough for me not to hear it.

"Oh here it is. I hope you like Bolognese sauce," Mrs. Williams said, bringing a big plate with Lasagna.

"It looks great," I said, my stomach growling with the delicious smell of the food.

"It better, it was a bitch to do it," Bella said, carrying a plate full of homemade Italian bread.

"Isabella," John said with a warning look.

"Sorry," she whispered, annoyed to be corrected in front of everybody.

"I helped Mom and Bells do it," Claire said, bringing a small bowl with grazed parmesan cheese.

"Yes she did," Renée said with pride of her little girl.

"I'm sure it is going to be delicious," I said, looking at Bella who seemed to be quite happy at the moment.

"I just can't wait for dessert," Bella said with a malicious smirk and my pants felt a little bit tighter with the possibilities that that might bring.

"Bella," Renée said giving her a reprehensive look because of Claire's presence.

"I will behave…for now," she said, whispering the last part. But I was pretty sure she wanted me to hear it.

"Let's eat then," John said, starting to serve the lasagna pieces while Renée handled the pieces of Italian bread to go with it.

"So, Edward, Bella told me you guys met at school," Renée said, trying to start a conversation to make dinner more pleasant.

"Actually we're lab partners," I said, before taking a piece of the delicious food.

"I guess I got really lucky with Advanced Biology," Bella said smiling.

"I see," John said, looking like he was getting the main idea of Bella's malicious comments.

"We actually have a big project to do till the end of the semester," I said, trying to change the focus back to the real Science.

"Oh that seems promising. What is the theme?" Renée asked me.

"The theme?" I said lost in my own words, because Bella and I actually never had the chance to really discuss our project.

"It's about the Glucose control in diabetes and the Novel Glycated Haemoglobins as indicators," Bella said quickly not letting me look like an idiot in front of her family.

"It sounds like a difficult subject," Renée said looking quiet impressed with us.

"It is. It's actually a matter that's only discussed if you are majoring in Biology but Edward and I thought we could handle it. Right baby?" Bella said, with a big smile on her red lips.

"Yeah, it is Advanced Biology after all. It won't be a problem," I said, but wondering where Bella had gotten such a complex idea.

"Is that what you want to do? Be a scientist?" John asked with curiosity in his eyes.

"Actually no. I'm hoping to major in Music," I said with pride.

"Music? Are you planning to form a rock band or something?" he asked laughing, probably thinking I was joking.

"Actually it's more of a classical music kind of thing," I said, a little bit embarrassed to be made fun of.

"Classical music hmm? What do you play then?" he asked.

"The piano," I said.

"A pianist then. That I wasn't expecting," he said.

"Are you thinking about applying to Juilliard?" Renée asked me, with a weird shine in her eyes.

"That's my main objective, yes," I told her.

"Oh my," she said, looking quite emotionally at Bella.

"Can you teach me to play?" Claire asked.

"Yeah sure," I said with a smile. After all, you never know when a new talent might arrive.

"Yay, then I can play and Bella can dance," she said super excited.

"Dance?" I asked confused looking at Bella.

"She likes to pretend I'm a princess. I'm going to get dessert," she said before leaving the table in a rush.

"Did I say something wrong?" a sad Claire asked her mom.

"No honey, you did nothing wrong," Renée said with her eyes full of a strange sadness.

* * *

"A cherry pie Edward, really? I thought John would have a heart attack when you handed it to my mom," Bella said sitting on the steps of the front porch.

"I didn't think he would see it that way," I said a little bit embarrassed with the connotation it had received. It was just a pie after all.

"It's not like you are going to pop my cherry anyway," she said laughing.

"Glad I amuse you," I said with sarcasm.

"Come on, it wasn't so bad," she said, pushing her shoulder against mine.

"I suppose," I said, looking at the concrete of the sidewalk.

"Are you going to tell me you've never met someone's parents before?" she asked.

"Just every Thursday or other," I said with a smirk.

"Wait a second, are you telling me I am your first girlfriend?" she asked shocked.

"Well you are not the first girl and friend that I ever had," I said, embarrassed.

"Edward, I'm serious here," she said.

"So am I. You don't have to do this you know," I said.

"Do what?" she asked, confused.

"Say you are my girlfriend because of what happened to us. I know I am not the best bachelor out there," I said, looking at my Adiddas shoes.

"You're kidding right? I am not the kind of girl that goes out there letting any guy stick their tongue down my throat," she said serious.

"Neither am I," I told her, looking right at her brown eyes.

"You really don't get it, do you?" she said.

"Get what?" I said starting to feel a little bit melancholic.

"I like you, Edward, I really like you, as in more than a friend," she said, grabbing my hand with hers.

"I like you too, Bella," I said in a whisper.

"Then you know what it means then," she asked, her mouth so dangerously close to my own.

"What?" I asked her.

"It means you are all mine," she said, before her lips descending on mine with such a passion my thick glasses almost fell on the floor.

Her hands stuck on my messy hair, tugging it with such a force it almost hurt, but it felt so damn good.

And that was the moment when Isabella Swan became my first and only girlfriend.

* * *

_** A/N: Hope you all had liked this chapter and give me a review with your thoughts about it!**_

_**Lots of love to Y and A :)**_

_**More next weekend ;)**_

_**xoxo**_

_**C.**_


	13. Glad You Came

**Chapter 13 – Glad You Came**

**BPOV**

**A/N : Now here we go! Hope you all enjoy it =]**

* * *

I thought I would feel a little bit different today. That when I woke up something would be changed, that all that sadness and grief that had been my faithful companions for the past few years would be gone and a strange sensation of pure happiness would appear.

But even with a lighter heart and the contentment that being with Edward brought me I was still the same Bella. The same Bella that had a closet full of skeletons to hide.

"So tell me everything!" a super excited Alice said before crossing her right arm over my left one.

"To tell you everything it would take a life time," I said with sarcasm.

"Don't be a smartass. I've been waiting since Saturday to know how your date with my cousin was," Alice said.

"It was great," I said, remembering how sweet Edward had been.

"Come on, you can do better than that," she said annoyed.

"Your lovely cousin was the perfect gentleman," I said with a smile.

"Of course he would be. The boy is crazy about you," she said with enthusiasm.

"We had an amazing night. We went to the movies and watched Prometheus, and then had dinner at a nice restaurant," I said with pride.

"It's so Edward to take a girl to see a science fiction movie for their first date," she said with a laugh.

"It wasn't that bad," I said.

"Really? I bet you loved the Alien part," she said.

"Ok, it wasn't the best choice for a first date, but at least I got to hold his hand in the scariest parts," I told her with a wink.

"You mean the entire movie?" she asked.

"Precisely," I said, making us both laugh.

"So I guess we can say we have a new couple in town then?" she asked with hope.

"Well after he met my parents, it was the least I could do!" I said with a laugh, before putting my books inside my locker.

"I can't believe it. Edward meeting The Parents. How did that happen?" Alice asked me.

"Well it's a long story," I told her.

"We've still got time," she said.

***FLASHBACK***

_"Could you please get your hands off my daughter?" a very angry John said, pushing his hands against Edward's car's glass._

_"Oh fuck me," I said, too fucking shocked and pissed to even look at poor Edward._

_"Isabella Marie Swan, you'd better get out of this car this instant," John shouted looking really mad._

_"This is fucking ridiculous," I said, feeling so angry that he had ruined my perfect moment with Edward._

_"I'm sorry," Edward said, looking down at his lap, trying to hide his huge erection from everybody's view._

_"Listen here young lady, if you don't get in here in one minute I swear to God you are going to wish that I had only taken your car from you," John shouted in a very threatening tone._

_"What the hell are you thinking? You are not my fucking father!" I shouted before jumping out of Edward's car and walking in John's direction._

_"Well, I think he would have done the same thing if he was here," he shouted back at me. What a pretentious prick. Who the fuck did he think he was?_

_"You don't know shit. You have no idea what kind of man my father was!" I shouted, pointing the fucking truth out to him._

_"One more word and your car, Iphone, credit card, Internet, and TV are cut off for the rest of your life!" he shouted back at me._

_"I fucking hate you!" I shouted back, my eyes full of angry tears but I wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing me crying._

_"I would be doing a really lousy job as a parent if you didn't!" he shouted back._

_I couldn't even say anything. I had lost the battle even before it had started. I didn't even say a word to Edward, I just looked right at him, hoping he would understand._

_I rushed back to my house, leaving Edward and John behind, fearing what he might say to the new boy in my life._

_I got inside the hall, pushing the door closed with such force that the small glass on it shook._

"_Isabella, what happened?" my mother said walking into the hall._

"_Your husband happened. He is trying to ruin my life," I said, before jumping up the steps of the stairway._

_I ran to the third floor, opened my bedroom door, and closed it behind me. I was so tired of everybody trying to interfere in my life and saying what was best for me._

_Couldn't they see this shit was getting old? I wasn't a freaking child anymore._

_Feeling too angry to even think I threw my high heels on the floor and took off my fancy accessories, putting them on my vanity._

_I felt like I needed to blow off some steam, so I turned on the music really loud, letting the last song that was playing start again._

"_It's my life_

_It's now or never_

_I ain't gonna live forever_

_I just want to live while I'm alive_

_(It's my life)_

_My heart is like an open highway_

_Like Frankie said_

_I did it my way_

_I just wanna live while I'm alive_

_It's my life"_

_The rhythm of the music really made me want to dance. I looked at myself in the full body mirror and started to let the lyrics flow through my body. My hands ran over my body, my feet were moving from one point to the other, I was spinning, jumping, dancing. It could only last a few minutes but it had been so long since I had last danced. It was my point of no return. Dancing would never be a dead part of my life. I knew this now._

"_Bella," I heard John saying from the other side of my bedroom door._

"_Go away!" I shouted, still listening to the song._

"_Come on kid, don't make this harder than it has to be," he said in a soft tone._

"_Haven't you done enough, John?" I said, feeling so frustrated with him for trying to control my life._

"_Please Brown Eyes," John said, referring to my childhood nickname. I supposed I did have gigantic brown eyes when he met me, so he thought it was appropriate. But at the time it was one of the sweetest things someone had said to me since my dad had passed away._

"_I just want to talk, Bella," he said, probably feeling guilty for shouting at poor Edward. God I hope he could forgive me for whatever John had said or done to him. Maybe I should call him._

"_Bella," he said one more time, before I heard his body running down the door and sitting against it._

"_Fine, I don't want your old body lying against my door," I said turning off my stereo before opening the door, almost making him fall on his back._

"_Hi," he said, getting up._

"_Hey," I said, crossing my arms over my chest in an annoyed sign._

"_Can I come in?" he asked._

"_Be my guest, it's your house after all," I said, walking to my vanity and sitting on the bench in front of it._

"_I like what you've done with the place," he said with a smile, looking around my room before sitting on my velvet purple arm chair._

"_I bet," I said, starting to remove my makeup, avoiding looking at him in the mirror._

"_Look, Bella I am really sorry I shouted at you, I had no right," he said, running his hands over his grayish blonde hair._

"_You bet you didn't," I said coldly._

"_I just don't want to see you getting hurt again," he told me with honesty in his deep blue eyes._

"_Edward is not going to hurt me," I said, thinking about how ridiculous the idea of Edward Cullen ever hurting me was._

"_You said the same thing about Christian," he said with a sad look._

"_I don't wanna talk about him," I said, pulling my hair in a messy bun, trying not to remember about him._

"_You never want to talk about it," he said softly._

"_It's my right, it's my life, and I can choose to forget my past," I said, feeling the warm tears forming._

"_Yeah, you know what, you're right. After all, I did support every decision you made the past few years. I accepted when you gave up your dream, even if it haunted you and destroyed your mother. I endured your crazy and partying phase when it happened. I didn't even ask when your boyfriend stopped showing up or when you and your best friend cut all contact. But I won't´ close my eyes to it any more," he said in hard tone._

"_You are so over reacting," I told him._

"_Am I? After all you just almost died, lost your best friend and the boy that I watched you get involved with since you were 13 years old. When are you going to stop pretending that all those things never happened?" he said, looking really worried._

"_John I am fine. I got over it, and so should you," I said, trying to sound like my past didn't affect me anymore._

"_I just want you to be safe and happy," he said, his eyes full of emotion._

"_I am happy," I told him._

"_You know, when Laura died, I thought my life was over. I was alone and had lost the woman I loved. So when after all those years all by myself I met your mother, it was like my sun started shining again. I had her and you, the family I always wished to have. When I proposed to Renée and she accepted it, I went to your father's grave and promised that I would dedicate my life to making you both happy. That I would do things like I knew he would like to, and he would be proud of the woman you would become. But I don't think I'm keeping my promise am I?" he asked, looking down at my old doll house. The last gift my father had given me before passing away._

"_John, what had happened in Phoenix was not your fault," I said, referring to the elephant in the room._

"_Yes it was. As your step father I should have protected you. And I failed you, Bella," he said, looking down at his hands._

"_You did the best you could," I said, tears starting to fall down from my eyes._

"_I'm sorry Brown Eyes," he said, before I walked to him and gave him a tight hug. I didn't want to hurt him or my family._

_Sometimes I just felt so lost._

"_Me too," I said, drying my tears with my hands._

"_But just to let you know, I invited the boy for dinner tomorrow night," he said, with a small smile._

"_Really? Are you trying to interrogate my one and only suitor? Do you want me to stay old and gray all by myself?" I asked with a laugh._

"_Let's just hope Edwin is better at dinning with the parents then at trying to talk with one," he said with sarcasm._

"_It's Edward," I said laughing at him._

"_Yeah yeah, lover boy better not make me wait," he said trying to look serious._

"_Thank you John, for giving him a chance," I said with honesty._

"_Anything for you kiddo. Goodnight," he said, before giving me a small kiss on my forehead and leaving me alone with my thoughts._

***End of Flashback***

"So in the end Edward charmed my entire family," I said, walking down the corridor with Alice by my side.

"Who knew? My little cousin the Prince Charming," Alice said.

"He even got in the good graces of Claire," I said with a smile.

"Girl you got it bad," Ally said laughing.

"Look who's talking," I said, remembering how not so long ago she was talking nonstop about her cowboy.

"Talking about it, I decided the perfect theme for my birthday party," she said.

"Which is?" I asked, now curious about the mysterious party she had been planning.

"I will let you know later. Look there's your boyfriend. Ciao," she said, before going to her Calculus class.

At the end of the hallway Edward was trying to put some of his books inside his locker and failing miserably at it. He pushed them together till some papers fell down, spilling all over the floor. He bent down and started picking up the papers and trying to stop them from being stepped on by people.

"You know, you didn't have to go through all of this to get my attention," I said, bending to help him to get all his stuff from the dirty floor.

"Bella," he said with a small smile.

"Hey," I said my mouth just a few inches from his.

"Aren't you late for class?" he asked, looking down at his things, his eyes away from me.

"Well, how could I go to class before my morning kiss?" I said, trying to give him a soft peck on the lips. But before my lips could touch his, he turned his head around; making my kiss fall on his cheek which already had a small trace of beard.

"I've got to go," he said before looking down at the end of the corridor and walking away from me.

"What the fuck?" I said to myself feeling pretty confused and pissed off, before running to my Geography class.

* * *

"Ok, why are you staring at Edward like you want to rip his balls off instead of being joined at the hip with him?" Alice asked confused, when I chose to sit at a lunch table away from Edward.

"It's simple, your cousin is an ass," I said, taking another bite of my food.

"How come? I thought he was the perfect prince charming till a few hours ago," she said shocked.

"Well that was before he thought he was too good to be seen in public with me," I said with a grudge, really wanting to kick his pale ass.

"And why the hell would you think he thinks that?" she asked.

"Well it might be because I tried to give my supposed boyfriend a hello kiss and he totally turned his lips away," I told her, feeling angrier by the second.

"I can't believe this, it makes no sense," she said, before continuing to eat her lunch.

"No shit," I said rudely, looking at the back of the lunch room where Edward and Jasper were sitting.

"Hey, don't act like a bitch just because my stupid cousin is going through male PMS," she said with sarcasm.

"I'm sorry, I am just so fucking angry. I really wasn't expecting this from him," I said to Alice, remembering the words that John had said to me before about how I always thought I was dating the good guy.

"I'm sure my crazy loving cousin has some weird yet logical explanation for this," she said trying to cheer me up.

"He'd better, or I might just have to kick his sorry ass," I said, before taking one last look at my lovely Geekward.

"Anyway, about the party…" Alice started to say but the words were lost on me.

* * *

"Bella, can I talk to you?" Edward said, appearing from nowhere beside my car.

"For crying out loud Edward, you almost killed me here!" I said startled.

"Sorry," he said embarrassed, pushing his backpack back on his shoulders.

"So, to what do I owe the honor of your presence?" I asked with sarcasm.

"Please don't be like this," he said, looking defeated.

"Be like what Edward? Pissed? Because you are the guilty one here, not me," I said, pushing my messenger bag inside my Mini Cooper.

"I'm sorry, ok. I know I pissed you off, but I never meant to hurt you," he said looking down.

"But guess what? You did! I thought you wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with you!" I shouted at him.

"I do. You have no idea how much I want to do just that," he said, looking around to see if anyone was listening to our conversation.

"What? Are you ashamed of being seen with me? Is that it?" I said, feeling like I was about to explode.

"Of course not Bella," he said, taking my hands with his own.

"Then what it is Edward? Because as far as I know we are in a relationship. You don't do this kind of shit when you are involved with someone," I said to him.

"I know Bella. Being with you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have to believe in me," he said, his eyes full of affection.

"Then what the fuck were you thinking, Edward?" I asked, losing my calm in the middle of the empty parking lot.

"I just don't want to make your life more difficult than it has to be," he said in a sad tone.

"What in heaven's name are you talking about?" I asked confused.

"Being with me makes peoples' lives harder," he said dejected.

"I really don't know why you are saying this," I replied.

"Jasper used to be really popular when he got here you know? He didn't use to be the loner mysterious guy he is right now, but I guess you can't keep your status quo when you've decided to befriend the lonely geek guy everybody tries to avoid," he said.

"Edward, I don't think he see it like that at all. Jasper is your best friend. What you guys have is a real friendship and not some superficial shit like some of the people around here," I said, trying to make him understand how much he meant to different people.

"Then look at Alice, we are bound by blood, so she always has to suffer for being attached to the Other Cullen. When Emmett was here things were better, but right now her life is so much harder than it has to be. Her only friend before you got here was Rosalie and she is in California with my brother. She's always defending me. She was kicked off of the cheer team and the only committee she was able to stay on was the Reception Committee because nobody wanted to do it. Do you see it? I make the life of everybody I care about much harder than it has to be. I don't want that to happen to you too," he said, trying to make what he had done today look like a rational decision.

"Ok, so you think I'd rather be popular and hang with those fuckers than be with you, is that it?" I said, feeling pissed that he would make me look so shallow.

"I know you wouldn't, but I don't want you to have to suffer for being with me," he said.

"Then what Edward? You don't want to be with me anymore, is that it?" I asked shocked that he would want to end things before they even started.

"Of course I want to be with you. Just the mere thought of losing you makes it harder for me to breath," he said, softly holding my face between his hands.

"Then what?" I asked confused, once more holding back angry tears, feeling silly for letting him get so deep on me so fast.

"I just think it's better for us to lay low here in school, you know? I just don't want Newton to try to get between us or to do something that hurts you or us," he said softly.

"So, you want to date in secret?" I asked, feeling ridiculous, but at the same time glad that Edward hadn't changed his mind about us.

"Just for a while. I just want to have this only to ourselves, I don't want what we have tainted by those assholes," he said with honesty.

"Okay," I said, hoping that soon enough he would feel confident enough to not think I would let some idiot get between us.

"Thank you," he said, before quickly kissing me softly on the lips.

* * *

The next few weeks flowed really quickly and so did my relationship with Edward. We got closer each day and even though he still had this stupid fear that if anyone knew about us it could be really bad for me, I got to steal a kiss or two when we were in public.

I suppose it was fun at the beginning, the thrill of maybe being caught, using every chance just to feel his hands on my body and his lips on my own. But after a while it got old and I was starting to wonder if he was really worried about my social life or if he had changed his mind.

That add to the situation, my terrible sexual frustration was making me quite a bitch. Even Claire was saying that little old me was being a weenie, but come on I'd lacked sweet release for months now, so cut me some slack.

It was not like Edward and I didn't have any hot moments, but he always cut it before it got too far, saying it was for the best. I totally disagreed. Only I knew how many cold showers I had been taking lately and not even my self loving was doing it for me these days.

With the old excuse of having to work on our bio project I found myself parking my car in front of Edward's gigantic house one more time. I looked at myself in the mirror, putting a last coat of lip gloss on and checking if my boobs were looking good inside my plaid button short dress.

Ringing the door bell I waited for someone like old Alfred from Batman to open the door, but instead I was met by a sweet old lady that looked a lot like my grandmother Marie.

"Can I help you dear?" she asked me politely.

"I'm Bella, I came to meet Edward to work on our school project," I said, holding my biology books and carrying my backpack to reinforce the idea and not to look like I wanted to get in his pants.

"Please come in, I'm Mrs. Cooper," she said opening the door for me.

"Isabella, what a lovely surprise," a very elegant Esme Cullen said, walking down the marble stairs.

"Hello, Mrs. Cullen," I said, trying to look well educated. So what if I wanted my mother-in-law to like me?

"Come on honey, I told you to call me Esme. Mrs. Cullen is too formal for us, don't you think?" she said with a suggestive smile, so I supposed she pretty much knew I'd been shoving my tongue down her son's throat for the last few weeks.

"Ok, Esme," I said with a nervous laugh.

"I'm sorry, but once again I am late for an appointment," she said, while looking really gorgeous wearing a pale pencil skirt, a green silk blouse and nude really high heels. Go Mama Cullen for looking so hot after her forties.

**(all sets on my polyvore account – link on my profile)**

"It seems to be getting common, that," I joked.

"You are absolutely right. You have to come to dinner sometime this week, I'm sure Carlisle would be delighted to meet you," she said with a warm smile.

"I would love to," I said, even though meeting Edward's heartless father was not one of my priorities at the moment.

"Well Edward is in his room as always, please feel at home," she said, before grabbing her vintage Chanel handbag and leaving.

I walked up the stairs and went to where I remembered Edward's room was from my last visit a few months ago.

His door was opened, music was blasting really loud from his stereo and his back was to me. This way I could appreciate the way his blue denim jeans hung down his hips, how his black t-shirt showed his broad shoulders and even his old dark vans were looking pretty hot to me. God I needed to get laid.

But what got my attention the most was the song that was playing in the sound system and which Edward seemed to be really enjoying singing.

**The Wanted – Glad You Came**

_The sun goes down_  
_The stars come out_  
_And all that counts_  
_Is here and now_  
_My universe will never be the same_  
_I'm glad you came_

_You cast a spell on me, spell on me_  
_You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me_  
_And I decided you look well on me, well on me_  
_So let's go somewhere no one else can see, you and me_

_Turn the lights out now_  
_Now I'll take you by the hand_  
_Hand you another drink_  
_Drink it if you can_  
_Can you spend a little time,_  
_Time is slipping away,_  
_Away from us so stay,_  
_Stay with me I can make,_  
_Make you glad you came_

_The sun goes down_  
_The stars come out_  
_And all that counts_  
_Is here and now_  
_My universe will never be the same_  
_I'm glad you came_  
_I'm glad you came_

_You cast a spell on me, spell on me_  
_You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me_  
_And I decided you look well on me, well on me_  
_So let's go somewhere no one else can see, you and me_

_Turn the lights out now_  
_Now I'll take you by the hand_  
_Hand you another drink_  
_Drink it if you can_  
_Can you spend a little time,_  
_Time is slipping away,_  
_Away from us so stay,_  
_Stay with me I can make,_  
_Make you glad you came_

_The sun goes down_  
_The stars come out_  
_And all that counts_  
_Is here and now_  
_My universe will never be the same_  
_I'm glad you came_  
_I'm glad you came_

_I'm glad you came_  
_So glad you came_  
_I'm glad you came_  
_I'm glad you came_

_The sun goes down_  
_The stars come out_  
_And all that counts_  
_Is here and now_  
_My universe will never be the same_  
_I'm glad you came_  
_I'm glad you came_

"I don't think the guys from_ Joy Division_ would like to know you are singing a song from a boy band," I said, pointing at his black band t-shirt with the cover of the album '_Unknown Pleasures_' on it.

"Bella, hey," he said with a smile.

"Hey yourself," I said, walking inside his room.

"What are you doing here?" he asked a little flushed, probably because of being caught singing one of the summer's hottest pop songs.

"I didn't know you were a big fan of The Wanted," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Well you know how much Alice adores them, and after a while the song kind of sticks with you" he said.

"Liar," I said before softly kissing him on the lips.

"I think I can say it's my guilty pleasure," he said with a smirk.

"And here I was thinking I was your guilty pleasure," I said with a malicious smile.

"No, you are just my pleasure," he said, before kissing me with such a force that I almost fell from his arms.

I think that to say I was shocked was an understatement. Edward very rarely started something physical between us and this was the first time it had such a passion over it. He was more into soft kisses and sweet caresses. I used to be the crazy sex starved one.

"I missed you," I said between kisses.

"You saw me this morning," he said, trying to deepen the kiss.

"I missed actually being with you," I said, running my hands over his soft bronze hair.

"I'm sorry for putting you through this," he said, sitting on his leather desk chair.

"I'm just tired of having to hide that you are mine," I said, sitting on his lap.

"I am too," he said with a sad look.

"Then let's go public," I said with enthusiasm.

"We are, I just wanted to have you all to myself, just a little bit longer," he said, before kissing me one more time. Today seemed to be a special day for him, he never was so bold before.

The kiss soon started to get hot and heavy. My hands went from his messy hair to his broad torso that had the right amount of chest hair– a secret only I knew – to touch his back from inside his t-shirt.

He made his own exploration with his hands, going from my hair, to my cheeks, down my neck and my collarbone. Even though he never actually tried to cop a feel from my boobs, he was touching the other side of my breasts through my dress. I did like this naughtier version of him.

I was feeling the same tightening in my belly that I did every time we did this. I could feel myself getting wetter and soon I was dry humping Edward Cullen. On his desk chair. In his house. With only Mrs. Coop around.

"Bella, maybe we should slow down," a very out of breath Edward tried to say.

"No, I want you," I said, rubbing my clothed pussy harder against his jeans.

"I don't know if we are ready for this," he said, while sucking the tender skin of my neck.

"I can't wait anymore, I need you too much," I said, kissing him deeply and grabbing his hands and pushing them against my chest.

"Oh God," he said, realizing that he was actually touching the twins.

"I know you want to," I said, pushing his hands harder, making my nipples twitch.

"Bella, I…" he started to say, probably unsure how to continue. After all it was no news that my sweet Edward was a virgin.

"It's ok baby, I will show you how," I said, starting to unbutton the top buttons of my plaid dress.

"Oh fuck," he said, when the last button was undone to reveal my red lace push up bra.

"It's ok," I said, pushing his soft long fingers over the pale skin of my chest.

His hands were soft, like he was afraid to hut me, like I was a china doll that might break at any harsh caress. His eyes didn't leave the spot where my pink nipple was poking over the sheer lace. It was like the very first time he saw the sea. Wild and beautiful.

"Bella," he said softly, his eyes full of emotion, a mixture of love and lust.

"You can have a little taste you know," I said, before undoing the front clasp of my bra, exposing myself to him.

"You are so beautiful," he said, before touching my right nipple with his fingertips.

"You can touch me harder. I won't break," I said, making his whole hand wrap over my breast.

I knew he wanted to have my permission, so I slowly pushed his head down on lips for a sweet kiss, before making him go more south, to where he so much desired to go.

But nothing would prepare me for the feeling of Edward's tongue on my tender flesh, discovering the tastes and textures of every spot, making me crazy with pleasure.

"God baby, don't stop," I said, feeling he sucking my right breast harder, when his talented long fingers found their way to my left one.

I knew I could come just like this. Just the feeling of his mouth on my bud and the friction between my clit and his pants would be enough to send me to the edge. But I couldn't stop thinking about how his delicate fingers would feel inside of me. Actually since the very first time I saw him play it hadn't gone out of my mind.

"I need more Edward," I said, rubbing furiously against him.

"More?" he asked his eyes full of apprehension.

'Yes," I said, pulling his hand from my breast and taking it to my mouth. I needed to know the taste of his skin.

I licked his long middle finger and ran it from my mouth to my center. I pushed aside my matching lace boy-shorts to make him feel how hot and wet he made me.

"Oh God," he said, the huge tent inside his jeans twitching over my over-sensitive cunt.

"I just need you so damn much," I said, pushing his fingers inside of me.

They never felt better. It was perfect – the way they fit inside of me, long enough to hit the right spot and gentle enough not to feel uncomfortable – going very slow at first.

"I don't know what to do," he said, his mouth still against my chest and his fingers slowly moving inside of me.

"Let me show you," I said, pushing my hand over his, my fingers playing with myself with his own.

It started slow, like a new melody he was learning, but like any prodigy he soon didn't need my help. His touch was firmer, deeper, playing me with as much passion as he did his marble keys.

I was so horny, so wet and he was so good. I found myself soon fucking his fingers, running in the direction of release.

"I am so close," I said, holding tight on his back, my nails running over his skin.

"Shit," he said, rubbing his cock over me just as he fucked me with his slender fingers.

"Please don't stop," I said, feeling like I was about to fall from the cliff.

"God Bella," he shouted, pushing me harder over his cock and his fingers deeper in my pussy.

"Edward," I moaned, feeling my inner walls constrict around his fingers and my cum running down from my thighs to his jeans, probably making a huge mess in the process.

"Oh God," he said, his glasses all blurry from our heavy breathing.

"Welcome back baby," I said, before softly kissing him on his lips.

"I can't believe we just did that. What if Mrs. Coop heard anything?" he asked, moving his sticky jeans trying to get comfortable.

"I'm pretty sure she didn't," I said, feeling too relaxed to even care if she heard me shouting his name in orgasmic bliss.

"Isabella Swan, you are a crazy woman," he said with a huge smile.

"Baby I just know one thing, I am really glad I came," I said with a huge smirk – and not really talking about the song.

* * *

**A/N: Now there is, the edited chapter! Chapter 14 will be up this weekend! Let me knwo what you guys think!**


	14. Best Of You

**Chapter 14 – Best Of You**

**A/N: Tks for your support and reading my story! Please give me a review to let me know what you think ;)**

* * *

**EPOV**

"Fuck me sideways you totally got laid," Jasper said, leaning against my locker.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, laughing at him.

"Look at you, you're looking all happy and relaxed. That 'suffering in silence' look that you've had for years is totally gone," Jasper said shocked.

"So? I had a few good days, nothing big. Don't overreact, Jasper," I said, grabbing my Physics book and closing my locker.

"You so have to tell me how it was," he said, walking after me.

"Nothing happened, man," I said laughing at his enthusiasm.

"Really dude? I am your best friend! I should be the one to hear the gory details of your finally existing sex life," Jasper said with a smirk.

"Could you say that louder? I don't think that people on the other side of the school could hear you," I said feeling annoyed.

"Stop acting like a pussy Cullen, and tell me how you felt when you finally got one," he said pushing my shoulder.

"If you really need to know, my status as a virgin is still the same," I said lowly.

"What the fuck man? I thought you and Bambi were fucking like rabbits already," he said disappointed.

"You know, this Bambi thing is getting old," I said, still walking.

"Edward, my man, how can you possibly not want to hit that hottie?" Jasper asked with desperation, showing with his hands what he thought I should be doing with Bella.

"Could you please not talk about my girlfriend like that?" I said, pushing my backpack over my right shoulder.

"Dude, if you prefer I can talk all about Miss Alice Cullen," he said with an arched eyebrow.

"Fuck man, that's my baby cousin you're talking about," I said, trying not to imagine all the kinds of dirty things Jasper and Ally would do.

"Let me tell you man, there is nothing 'baby like' in that woman. Trust me," Jasper said with a huge smile.

"Really, Jasper, there is a limit you know" I said annoyed with this topic of conversation.

"Dude I totally get it, after all I don't tell you all my dirty fantasies that involve the lovely Mrs. Cullen," he said with a smirk.

"I am going to fucking kick your ass," I said, running after him. No one said shit about my mom.

* * *

"Really, Edward, did you have to push him so hard?" Alice said, trying to touch Jasper's small cut over his eye.

"It's not my fault your boyfriend wasn't looking where he was going," I said, remembering how hard Jasper had hit an open locker when I was chasing him.

"It's ok baby, you know what they say about a man with a scar," Jasper said with a malicious smile.

"Oh my big bad boy," Alice said, before kissing him hard on the lips.

"I think I just vomited a little bit in my mouth," Bella said, joining us at our lunch table.

"Thank you," I said, happy that someone else thought those two were disgusting.

"It's always a pleasure to insult the cowboy here," she said, sitting beside me.

"That's only because you want me so bad," Jasper said, receiving a slap on the back of the head from Alice.

"Bite me," Bella said in an annoyed tone.

"Damn, Ally, that shit hurts! And you guys really need to fuck. All of this sexual tension is making you guys a grouchy couple," he said, touching his forehead.

"Oh baby, I don't think you need to worry about that," Alice said with a smile.

"Alice," Bella said in a reproving tone.

"It's so clear that something happened between you two that it's annoying," Alice said with a smug look.

"Can we please stop wondering about my sex life?" I said, totally embarrassed.

"Don't worry baby, your secret is safe with me," Bella whispered in my ear making all the hairs on my neck stand up.

"So Edward, tell me, are you free next Saturday night?" Alice asked me, finally changing the subject.

"I don't think so, why?" I asked with suspicion. After all the pixie was known for her crazy ways.

"Well, as you may know on the 23rd I will be turning 18," she said with a smile.

"The 23rd will be on a Wednesday not a Saturday, Ally," I said confused.

"Can I finish?" she asked, annoyed at being interrupted.

"Proceed," I told her.

"Like I was saying, I will be turning 18 and I'm throwing a birthday party to celebrate. And you are being summoned to attend it," she said.

"I don't know, Ally," I said.

"Edward, you're my cousin, you have to go," she pleaded.

"You know how many parties I've been to since I started high school?" I asked her.

"I don't know, two?" she said.

"One, and we all know how great that ended up," I said avoiding eye contact with Bella.

"Edward Masen Cullen, are you really trying to ruin one of the most important nights of my life?" she shouted.

"Baby, don't you think you're overreacting?" a scared Jasper tried to say.

"If you know what's good for you, you won't say another word, Jasper," Alice said.

"Fine, woman," Jasper said in a defensive tone.

"You know parties are not my thing," I said, trying to not extend this discussion.

"Alice, let it be," Bella said, trying to end the topic.

"Fine. Don't go then. We'll have all the fun by ourselves," she said, visibly angry with me.

"Baby, you still haven't told me what the party theme is," Jasper said.

"It's Wonderland," she said with a smile.

Shit, what had Alice done this time?

* * *

"Dude you really can't do this to me," Jasper said with desperation.

"You know that's not my style," I told him while softly playing with his acoustic guitar.

"Your uncle totally freaks me out," he said, lighting a cigarette.

"Does your mother know that her little boy smokes like a truck driver? Besides, my uncle Andrew is awesome. My dad is the asshole in the family," I said.

"Really, Edward? You're going to leave your best friend to be all alone in a time of need?" he said dramatically, opening his bedroom balcony so the smoke wouldn't stay in the room.

"I would hardly call this a desperate hour. And stop being a pussy. It's not the first time you are going to see them," I said laughing at him.

"I hope you like living a lonely life because this will be the end of me," he said, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

"Stop being such a drama queen. God you are sounding like Alice," I said.

"And it's because of her that I'm fucked," he said with annoyance.

"Explain?" I said without patience.

"You know how the party theme is Wonderland? Well I thought she might say she would go as 'Alice In Wonderland' and I as the "Mad Hatter" since she said we should go matching. But no, she was all about how she wouldn't be known as using hallucinogenic drinks, tea cups, and white rabbits," he mumbled.

"So what? Is she going as a Princess and you as her mighty shining white knight?" I asked with sarcasm.

"Worse. She wants to be a freaking fairy," he said.

"That's not so bad, it actually fits her whole pixie persona," I said.

"Man, she wants to be freaking Tinker Bell," he said, sitting on his leather arm chair.

"No, she wouldn't…" I said, wondering if Alice could really be this dense.

"So yeah…I am going as fucking Peter Pan," he said angrily.

I couldn't hold my laugher anymore. This was too good to be truth.

"Fuck you Edwrad. This is serious shit. She is going to ruin my fucking reputation," he said.

"God, she is brilliant. I can't wait to see you in those green tights and small boots," I said laughing, imagining Jasper in his costume.

"Yeah, Cullen, laugh all you want, after all, you won't have to match your clothing with Bambi´s," he said annoyed.

"I'm sure that even if I went to that party Bella wouldn't do this to me," I said, looking down at the guitar.

"Besides, it's not like you guys would actually act like a couple if you went, so why match costumes anyway?" Jasper said with sarcasm.

"Jas, come on we already been through this," I said annoyed.

"I just don't understand how you can let your girl walk alone like that. Don't you worry that some douche might make a pass at her or something? After all in the public's eyes she is a single lady," he said to me.

"Bella can handle herself pretty well," I said with confidence in my relationship.

"I don't know man, I would never leave Alice alone at a party like that," he said running a hand through his hair.

"I don't see what the big deal is. As you know my uncle Andrew and Aunt Catherine will be there. They will be totally all over parental control."

"The thing is that this kind of party is the perfect excuse for all girls to let their naughty nurses come play and all the guys to pretend to be superheroes," he said frustrated.

"And your point is exactly?" I said.

"Do you want to let Bella play naughty nurse with another dude?" he asked.

"You are really not going to give up are you," I asked him, knowing pretty well what game Jasper was playing.

"I'm just trying to protect your best interests, man" he said, taking the guitar from me.

"And just out of curiosity how exactly do you want me to go to a party where everybody would like to make my life miserable? And not just that, to be with my girlfriend, wihch nobody knows about, and still keep our secret intact?" I asked frustrated.

"Well first of all you are being a dick by hiding your relationship from those assholes. And second look at who you're talking to. I am a fucking genius remember?" Jasper said, getting up from his chair.

"And what should I do then, Master?" I asked with sarcasm.

"I think you just may have given me the idea," he said, looking from me to the poster over his bed.

"Fuck me, you are a genius," I said shocked.

Who knew Jasper could be so smart after all?

* * *

"Please tell me," I softly said against the pale skin of her neck.

"Nope," Bella said, trying to get some distance from my lips.

"Bella, why can't you tell me," I begged.

"Because it's silly," she said, looking back at her notes and books.

"But if is silly then there is no problem in me knowing," I said, trying to use my best puppy eyes look on her.

"I'm sorry, are you trying to use your Jedi mind trick on me?" she asked in a teasing tone.

"Nah, they only work on weak minds," I said defeated.

"It's just a costume Edward. Really it's no big deal," she said lowly to me, trying not to bring unwanted attention to us.

"Then why don't you tell me?" I said, sounding stupidly childish I know, but I really needed to know, or my plan might not work.

"Go to the party and you might find out," she said with a smile.

"You know what I think about this," I said lowly, touching her hands under the library table.

"Alice made me promise I wouldn't tell you," she said.

"Since when do you listen to Alice?" I asked annoyed.

"Since she told me I've got the hots for the geeks," she said before giving me a quick peck on the lips.

"Why did you do that?" I asked shocked.

"Do what?" she said, trying to play innocent.

"Kiss me from out of nowhere, where anyone can see us," I said, feeling a light panic that someone might have seen the small kiss and our lives might become the next gossip in this place.

"Edward, I really don't care, you know that," she said, looking actually pissed at me.

"But I do. We've already talked about this, Bella," I said, pushing my glasses back in place.

"No, you talked and I listened. I am tired of being your little secret, Edward," she said.

"Keep your voice down," I said, before receiving an evil glare from Mrs. Peters our librarian.

"You know what, Edward, for a brilliant guy you can be really stupid sometimes," she said before grabbing her books and putting them inside her messenger bag.

"Where are you going?" I asked panicked.

"I don't know, but to a place where nobody will actually worry about being seen with me," she said, before leaving me alone one more time.

* * *

To say that Bella was really mad at me was an understatement. She was fucking furious.

She did everything in her power to avoid me, to not pick up my calls and not respond to my texts, to pass by me in the hallway and pretend I didn't exist. She was acting like she barely knew me. I think she was doing what I actually wanted – to keep us a secret – but she was doing such a good job that I was wondering if she actually had any doubts about us.

So when Alice's birthday party day arrived I was even more nervous about being around all those people. I just wanted to be with Bella and my friends. And I knew that for that to happen I had to get over my insecurities and stop being an ass.

Jasper was going to pick me up this time. He said it was an insurance policy so I wouldn't run away and leave him alone like I did last time, and also because I actually couldn't see enough to drive.

"Man, I am good," Jasper said with pride.

"Are you having a man-crush on me, Jasper?" I asked with a laugh.

"You wish that the fine specimen that I am would want anything to do with your sorry ass," he said.

"You know you want to," I said.

"Fuck, let me touch it," he said, touching my dark helmet.

"I can see that the tights are gone," I said pointing to his dark wool pants.

"We had a negotiation," he said, pushing his arrow to his back.

"From fairy to a thief, how nice," I said with sarcasm.

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with stealing from the rich to give to the poor," he said with his classic Texan smile.

"Nice," I said with sarcasm.

"Ok, now stop messing around and let's go," he said, walking out of my house and in the direction of the car.

'Really? You got your mother's Honda?" I asked looking at Mrs. Whitlock's silver Honda Civic.

"It was that or my bike, now stop bitching around and just get in," he said annoyed.

"And you complain about my Volvo," I said, trying really hard to not fall flat on my ass, since my costume did nothing to help with my lack of coordination.

* * *

Every time I went to Alice's house I was always impressed by it. It was one of those modern style houses, all white with walls of glasses and plenty of windows to let the sun light in. I suppose it had a majestic feeling to it – even if I still didn't know why they needed to have a five bedroom house if there were only three people living there – but what did I know right.

**(pictures of Alice's house on my polyvore account – link on my profile)**

We parked Jasper's mom's car in front of the garage, between many of Robert. E. Lee High's students'. Even if we got there early the party was at full blast. There were too many sexy nurses, doctors, firefighters and ninjas for my taste. Jasper was right, this night was a freaking excuse for everybody to let their fantasies run wild.

"Hey, man," Ben came to greet Jasper.

"Hey, bro," Jasper said, shaking Ben's hand.

"Robin Hood huh?" he said to Jasper.

"What can I say? You know how much I like to have my bow and arrow," he said showing him his plastic accessories.

"So, Dracula, super original man," Jasper said, teasing him.

"It's Angela idea, she wanted to come as a Vampiress," he said with a shudder.

"Little Angela Webber as a sexy vampire, who knew?" Jasper said giving me a malicious smile. After all he always did tease me about her.

"Shut up dude, that's my girl," Ben said laughing.

"Sorry bro, just saying, it's always the quiet ones," Jasper said.

"And who is this? I'm sorry, I'm Ben," he said offering me his hand to shake, making me go into panic mode. This was exactly why I didn't want to be here – I didn't know how to fake.

"That's my cousin Bob," Jasper said quickly.

"Bob? From Texas" Ben asked confused.

"Yep, he is visiting me here with my uncle so I thought, 'why not bring old cousin Bob to Ally's party,'" Jasper lied.

"Well, good to meet you, Bob" Ben said with a genuine smile.

"You too," I said quickly, my helmet muffling my voice.

"Damn that was close," Jasper said with a smirk.

"Bob? Really Jasper," I said annoyed.

"What's wrong with Bob? It's a very acceptable name," he said.

"You are really enjoying seeing me squirm aren't you?" I asked.

"You have no idea. Come on let's find our girls," he said, pulling me through the mass of bodies that was in front of Alice's house.

* * *

"Jasper, honey I'm glad you came," my aunt Catherine said, enveloping Jasper in a tight hug.

"Mrs. Cullen. If I may say you are looking dashing tonight," he said with a charming smile.

"Oh thank you dear, I always loved Breakfast at Tiffany's," she said, looking lovely in the classic look Audrey Hepburn was famous for: the Black dress, long black gloves, pearls everywhere and even the cigarette holder.

"Hello, Edward," she said with a smile.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked with desperation.

"Well, not many boys these days would dress in that costume," my uncle Andrew said, walking in my direction wearing a Indiana Jones costume, with a whip and everything.

"Don't worry man, nobody else will notice it if you act cool and activate the voice device," Jasper said to me.

"Should I worry about why my nephew would like to hide behind a mask?" Uncle Andrew asked me with concern.

"I just don't get along well with most of these people. I'm just here for Ally," I said.

"Do you want me to get her for you honey?" Aunt Catherine asked me with apprehension.

"Don't worry guys, Jasper and I are going to find her," I said, trying to avoid making a mess of this.

"Don't worry Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, I'm going to take care of our boy here," Jasper said with a smile.

"You'd better, I've got my eye on you boy," my uncle said, before leaving with my aunt to greet some other guests.

"Look, there's Alice and your Bambi," he said, pointing to the center of the spacious living room where there used to be white modern sofas to what was now a dance floor where Alice and Bella were dancing to the rhythm of some electronic music.

"Fuck my life," I said, when I realized what Bella was actually wearing.

"Got to say we are two lucky bastards," Jasper said, looking with lust at Alice in her small purple and green fairy costume.

"_Party rock is in the house tonight  
Everybody just have a good time  
And we gonna make you lose your mind  
Everybody just have a good time_

_Party rock is in the house tonight_  
_Everybody just have a good time_  
_And we gonna make you lose your mind_  
_We just wanna see yaa!_

_Shake that!_

_Everyday I'm shuffelin"_

"Did you tell her?" I asked angrily. There was no way Bella could have figured that out by herself.

"I have no idea what you're talking about man," Jasper said starting to dance by himself.

"Did you tell Bella or Alice about my dream?" I asked, ashamed that Bella might know about one of the many sexual fantasies that I'd had with her over the past few months.

"Of course not dude, I wouldn't talk about your wet dream around them. Besides she is dressed as Padmé and not as Leia," he said pointing out the obvious – Bella was dressed in the white tight pants and ripped top that Padmé wore in the fight battle of Episode II of Star Wars. She had the full outfit, with the high heeled white boots, utility belt, arm bracelet; her hair was in tight bun and she even had a small space laser gun. God she looked amazing.

**(all costumes pictures in my polyvore account – link on my profile)**

"Come on, let's talk to them," Jasper said pulling me through the mass of teenage dancing hormones.

"Wait a minute, don't forget the plan!" I shouted close to him – as close as my helmet allowed me to do.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, dancing around the crowd.

"Baby!" Alice shouted, before jumping into Jasper's arms and kissing him hard on the lips.

"God, do you guys have to do this all the time?" Bella said making a disgusted face.

"You're just annoyed that my asshole of a cousin didn't make it," Alice said, pushing her stylish curly hair over her shoulders.

"The night's still young," Bella said in a hopeless tone.

"Don't worry, since I couldn't bring my stupid friend I brought my cousin Bob," Jasper said, pushing me in Bella's direction.

"Bob?" Alice asked with suspicion.

"From Texas," I said, activating the voice device, so I would have the classic metallically voice.

"Nice light saber," Bella said pointing at my red saber.

"Thanks," I said.

"I'm Bella," she said giving me her hand to shake.

"Bob," I said.

"Nice party, Ms. Cullen, the place seems crowded," I said, trying to stick with Jasper's cousin persona – even looking out for a Texan accent.

"Yeah baby, how many people did you invite?" Jasper asked.

"The entire senior year of the school – I didn't want anyone feeling left out," she said with a smile.

"That's really nice of you ma'am," I said, thinking how great my cousin actually was. She did deserve the world.

"Let's go dance," Alice said, grabbing Jasper's hand and taking him through the dance crowd.

"Sorry bro," Jasper said before leaving with Alice.

"So, Bob, are you going to try to use your mind tricks on me?" she asked me the same question she had just a few days before.

"Only work on weak minds," I replied, making her smile a little bit.

"I must say Darth Vader was always my favorite character of the entire saga," she said with a smile. That was new, I didn't know my own girlfriend was a fan.

"Mine too, but Yoda is quite kick ass also," I replied.

"True," she said laughing.

"Um, do you want to dance?" I asked awkwardly.

"Well, since our characters had a romance that changed the future of the Republic, I think that the least we can do is dance," she said with a smile.

We danced, from fast to slow songs, our bodies close but yet far enough. I didn't want to press her too much and cross some line, after all she was a committed girl.

"Why the sad face?" I asked her when I went to get her some drinks, since I couldn't drink anything without showing my face and ruining my disguise.

"I just wanted somebody to be here, but he's not, and I'm disappointed – even if I was pretty sure he wasn't going to appear," she said, taking the whole drink in one single gulp.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said, starting to feel guilty about maintaining this façade.

"Come on let's get some air," she said, walking out of the living room and to the huge backyard with an enormous pool which was being used as another area of the party.

"God those guys are ridiculous," Bella said, pointing to Mike Newton who was wearing a Capitan America costume and his friends that were in different states of undress with their 'sexy costumes'.

"Only worse ones are those," I said pointing to a bunch of people that were trying to play Rock Band and failing miserably.

"God, if they can't even get a high score in the Easy Mode imagine if that was a real instrument," she said with sarcasm.

"Yeah, I guess some guys were made to throw balls and others to play music," I said in my metallic voice.

"You know, you don't actually need to leave this thing on all the time. It would be nice to hear your voice or see the face of the guy I have been talking to for the past two hours," she said with a soft smile.

"I think I need to keep the character," I said, taking out my light saber and turning it on.

"Luke, I am your father," I said, trying to do my best impersonation of Lord Vader.

"Really man, what have I told you about playing with this thing?" Jasper said, trying to take my saber from me.

"Only a Jedi is trained in the Jedi arts," I said, showing him my skills.

"Then how about a Rock Band challenge?" he said with a smile.

"Oh that would be fun," Alice said enthusiastically.

"Only if I can be the lead singer," Bella said.

"Fine, challenge accepted," I said in my metallic voice.

We walked over to where the Wii was connected with the playable instruments and each one of us chose a spot. Bella was in the vocal, Jasper on the bass, Ally on the guitar and me on the drums.

"I think this is the perfect song," Bella said, picking out a very familiar Foo Fighters song.

**Best of You** -_**Foo Fighters**_

_I've got another confession to make  
I'm your fool  
Everyone's got their chains to break  
Holdin' you_

_Were you born to resist or be abused?_  
_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_  
_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_

_Are you gone and onto someone new?_  
_I need somewhere to hang my head_  
_Without your noose_  
_You gave me something that I didn't have_  
_But had no use_  
_I was too weak to give in_  
_Too strong to lose_  
_My heart is under arrest again_  
_But I break loose_  
_My head is giving me life or death_  
_But I can't choose_  
_I swear I'll never give in_  
_I refuse_

_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_  
_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_  
_Has someone taken your faith?_  
_It's real, the pain you feel_  
_You trust, you must_  
_Confess_  
_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_

_Has someone taken your faith?_  
_It's real, the pain you feel_  
_The life, the love_  
_You die to heal_  
_The hope that starts_  
_The broken hearts_  
_You trust, you must_  
_Confess_  
_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_

_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_

_I've got another confession, my friend_  
_I'm no fool_  
_I'm getting tired of starting again_  
_Somewhere new_

_Were you born to resist or be abused?_  
_I swear I'll never give in_  
_I refuse_

_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_  
_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_  
_Has someone taken your faith?_  
_It's real, the pain you feel_  
_You trust, you must_  
_Confess_  
_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_

I wondered if she was trying to say something with that specific song. No, she didn't actually know it was me. It was indeed one of my favorite songs, and it could mean a lot in terms of our relationship, but I knew I had to get the courage to speak out. But I couldn't.

Claps and enthusiastic screams were what broke me from my personal spell, the crowd went crazy because of our high score and some were kind of annoyed that we got it, since Jasper was a real life musician.

"We rocked," Alice said, jumping on Jasper's back.

"I told you I was a rock star," he said with a wink.

"No shit Sherlock," Bella said, giving the microphone to another couple of kids that wanted to play.

"Hey sexy, you were looking good out there," a very drunk Mike Newton said trying to hold Bella.

"Get lost, Mike," she said, pushing him away.

"I can see today is the happiest day of your life. You finally come out of the closet?" Jasper said with a smirk, while looking at Mike's failed attempt to look cool in a Capitan America costume.

"Fuck off, Whitlock."

"Michael!" Alice shouted in a warning tone. She wouldn't tolerate any of his bullshit in her house.

"Stay out of this pixie, this is between Ms. Tease here and me," he said, trying to touch her one more time.

"Fuck off, Newton, I have a freaking boyfriend!" she shouted angrily, pushing him one more time away from her.

"Yeah, and where the hell is this supposed boyfriend that leaves you all alone at a party?" he said, clearly drunker than I thought.

"She is not alone." I said, still trapped in my metallic voice and all my secrets.

"Oh really? And who is going to say shit? You?" Mike said, trying to push me.

"Newton, I am warning you," Jasper said, while Alice was holding him down, probably not wanting a scene to ruin her entire party.

"This is ridiculous, you have no fucking boyfriend, you just like to be a dirty, slutty tease and I want to see this boyfriend of yours stop me," he said, trying to touch her ass.

But before he could move another finger, he was flying away, hitting the cold water of the pool, splashing all over the crowd.

"I am going to stop you, you fucking asshole," I said, turning off my voice device and removing my helmet.

"Edward," Bella said in a whisper, clearly shocked, but I am not sure if that was because of me showing up the party, pushing Mike in the pool, or for what happened next.

"You are mine," I said, before grabbing her roughly by her waist and kissing her harder than I ever had before. It was time for all those fuckers out there to know that this woman was off the market. She was mine.

"It's about time, man," Jasper said, but all I could hear was her moans and feel her hot body against mine. Today, I was finally free.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed!Give me a nice review to let me know what you guys are thinking so far! **


	15. Larger Than Life

**Chapter 15 – Larger Than Life**

**A/N: This chap´ter hadn´t been edited, so please be nice!As soon as my beta is done with it I will re-post the chapter!**

**Tks!**

* * *

**BPOV**

To say that Alice´s party of the point of no return of my relationship with Edward was an understatement. I was really disappointed when he said that there was no way in hell he would show up in her birthday party, especially after what happened in the only party he attend in his entire high school life. Which I knew it was because of me - of what happen between us - and even if I knew we were past all of this, I think he was still scared that something like that might happened again. And plus there were his stupid fear and insecurity about us being together in public; that little stunt he played at the library was a really shitty move.

But one more time he did amazed me. Who knew Edward Cullen was full of surprises.

_** Flashback**_

_Mike Newton was getting on my nerves; all he did the entire night was to harass me and try to coop a feel. Like that would ever happen!_

_So wonder how surprised I was, when his drunk ass said a bunch of shit about me in front of Alice, Jasper and cousin Bob! Jasper was clearly pissed and I knew he was a hot headed, I had heard many stories about his frequent visits to the detention room; but I didn´t want him to make a bad impression to Alice´s parent´s because he had to defend me. Beside´s I was more than ready to kick Newton´s ass for even thinking about touching me. But I didn´t have time to do anything about it, because before I could say anything to his shitty head I saw him __ flying away, hitting the cold water of the pool, splashing all over the crowd that had getter to hear our discussion._

"_I am going to stop you, your fucking asshole" cousin Bob said, turning off his voice device and removing his Darth Vader costume helmet. _

"_Edward" I said in a whisper, not believing in what I was seeing. I should have guessed something was up with this cousin Bob shit; the guy didn´t even had a real accent._

"_You are mine" He said, before grabbing me roughly by my waist and kissing me harder than he ever had before. I knew this act was a full pissing contest on me, a way for him to make sure everyone knew I was with him; that old geek Cullen had finally gotten a girl. But right now I didn´t care. He finally had done the right thing._

"_It was about time man" Jasper said laughing._

"_Edward, what is going on" Alice´s mom asked, looking at the now wet crowd and to the drunk Captain America swimming in her expensive pool._

"_Yeah, what is going on" I said holding tight on him, and totally out of breath, my hearth jumping out of my chest._

"_I am sorry aunt Catherine, but that asshole was harassing my girlfriend" he said ,throwing daggers with his eyes to Mike, that was now trying to get of the pool but failing miserable at it._

"_Girlfriend hum" Alice´s dad asked with a smirk on his lips._

"_I had no idea you two were dating" Alice´s mom said, probably wondering how she didn´t notice that her daughter´s best friend had been dating her nephew. _

"_We were trying to be discreet about it, but is good that everybody knows now" Edward said, giving me a warm smile._

"_Well I am glad to hear, good for you honey" she said with a smile; score Alice´s mom totally liked me._

"_Now, please Mr. Newton I would really appreciated if you could get out of my pool and leave my house" Mrs. Catherine Cullen said with authority._

"_And even if we don´t appreciated any act of violence – he said giving a hard startle to Edward - We also won´t have a man trying to harass any of my guests. Now please remove yourself, before I do it myself" Mr. Cullen said in a cold tone. _

"_Whatever, this party sucks anyway" Mike said, getting out the pool and walking away the party and taking Lauren, Jessica and Tyler with him; Is not like anyone actually would miss them._

"_I am sorry Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, I really didn´t want to cause a scene" I said ashamed._

"_Bella, you did nothing wrong it was that asshole fault" Alice´s said, totally mad that Mike had ruined the party´s good vibe. _

"_She is right Bella, but I would appreciated if there´s no more scene´s for tonight" Catherine said._

"_Don´t worry Mrs. Cullen" I said._

"_Good, now if you excuse us, we have a party to supervised" Mr. Cullen said, giving me a wink and making me blush - God dam those Cullen man´s and their sweet charms._

"_Should I worry about you and my uncle Andrew" Edward asked me with a smirk._

"_Oh God, now I am the one that throw up a little bit in my mouth" Alice´s said with disgust._

"_Come on Ally, your daddy is totally a DILF __**( Dad I Would Like to Fuck)**__ " I said with a smile._

"_Ok, I am going to take the pixie fairy here to get a drink, before the thing get ugly. Come on baby, let´s leave the love birds to talk" Jasper said, getting Alice by the hand and leaving me and Cullen boy alone._

"_So, cousin Bob" I asked, with an arched eyebrow._

"_Totally Jasper´s idea" he said in his defense._

"_You cut your hair" I said, totally mesmerized that now I could actually look at his deep green eyes._

"_Yeah, and left the glasses at home, I don´t think Darth Vader actually had any vision problems" he said shyly._

"_Through I love your geek glasses, I may say those contacts have their advances. I now can really look at your eyes." I said, touching his face._

"_I am sorry" he said softly._

"_For what" I asked._

"_For taking so long to do this; for acting like an asshole; for hurting your feelings. I had promised you I would never do this, and yet I already broke this promised. I just want to make you happy Bella" he said, pushing behind my ear a small piece of my hair that had fallen over my face._

"_You already did" I said, before running my hands over his strong square jaw._

_He was looking at me with such a emotion, like I was one of the most precious things in his life, like I was the reason for all his happiness; it had been a while since I had feel such emotions towards me. For the first time in the past two years I felt like I was deserving of such a passion._

_** End of Flashback**_

It had been a couple of weeks since Alice´s party; and many things had changed since them: the gossip had slowly decreased and finally stopped - I think that not even I was that entertainer for the people in here; Michael Newton still tried to make Edward´s life a living Hell, but got the message and stood now far away from me; Jasper and Alice still looked sickening sweet together, even through now Edward and I were very close to their level.

"Hey, you are here early" Edward said, putting his things over our bio table, looking around the empty class room.

"Hey yourself, looking good" I said, enjoying the view of my boyfriend in a pair of dark washed jeans, gray t-shirt and those Fuck Me Hard dark boots. Oh yeah, I liked this look very much. Who doesn't like a man wearing boots?

"I am to please" he said, before kissing me softly in the lips. Oh I liked this new confident Edward.

"Besides you are not so bad either" he said, looking at my blue pair of skinny jeans, dark boots, white crop t-shirt and black vest. Yeah, today I was looking pretty good.

**( sets on my polyvore account – link on my profile)**

"Well, I do have this super hot boyfriend, I need to look good to him" I said with an arched eyebrow , softly running my hands over his thighs, feeling the rough denim over my fingertips, the only thing between his skin and my own.

"Luck him" he said, before kissing me harder this time. His hands running over my back, while his tongue slowly massaging my own, it was the sweetest torture. I couldn´t wait to feel him all over me.

"Mr. Cullen and Ms. Swan – I hope to not be interrupting" Mr. Banner asked with sarcasm, clearly troubled with our PDA in his class room.

"Sorry professor" Edward said, looking quiet embarrassed.

"If it was any other students I would send to the principle office in a second, but since you two are my best, I will let it slide, this time". He said, clearly disappointed at our acts.

"Won't happen again" I said smiling at the old man.

* * *

Today was the date to deliver our final assignment and through we did work pretty hard to get a great project – a material worth of a college class – it was kind of sad to let it go. This project was always the perfect excuse for me and Edward to be together alone, especially in a bedroom, where we used to make out more than actually do any work. But yet I believe we did pretty well considering everything it had happen between us for the past few months. Who knew moving to Jacksonville would be such a good thing?

"Hello there Bambi" Jasper said, sitting across me and Edward in the lunch room.

"You know, you are not that creative as you think you are" I said with a smirk.

"You are the one with the big, scared brown eyes" he replied.

"I hope you know Bambi was a male deer" Edward said clearly annoyed to my suppose nickname.

"It's such a sad movie, how could they kill Bambi´s mom and his father leave him all alone in the woods' Alice said, looking quiet devastated about it.

"Ok Disney world, let´s change subject shall we" I said annoyed, really this was starting to look like Fucking Disneyland.

"So what are you wicked kids up today" Jasper asked, while chewing his food.

"Gross" I said in annoyance.

"Bella we so should go out today, there is a Spring Sales that I am dying to go and Jasper won´t go with me" Alice said with a pout. I guess that shit used to work every single time she used it.

"Ally baby you know I adore you, but there is a limit" Jasper said, trying to sound reasonable.

"I am all about limits you know" Alice said with an angry look. I guess the cowboy got burned this time.

"You are screwed" Edward said, pushing Jasper on the shoulders.

"Fuck of man" Jasper said.

"So what do you say" she asked me with glimmer in her eyes.

"I don´t know Ally" I said, not sure if Edward may had another plans for us today - some much dirtier plans – some that might finally involve less clothing this time.

"Bella you should go with Ally and then stop by and have dinner with my parents and me tonight" he said with a shudder.

"Are you sure" I asked him.

"Yeah, my mom is quite demanding on your presence tonight. I think my father also wants to meet the 'mysterious Isabella' as he likes to say. Besides I do have piano lessons this afternoon" he said with a sweet smile.

"If you are sure" I said with uncertain.

"Excellent, today you are all mine" Alice said with a big smile.

* * *

"Alice, please let´s stop, I can´t even feel my feet anymore" I said, holding more bags that was probably healthy to my credit card.

"How can we stop now? There still Victoria Secret to go" Alice said excited, almost knocking out an old lady with her bags in her excitement.

"Really? I don´t think I need to know the kind of kinky underwear you wear for Jasper" I said with disgust, after all there was a limit for everything like he had said earlier – mine was to know about my friends dirty sex lives.

"Not for me silly, for you" Alice said, pulling me through the doors of the land of sheer and satins.

"I don´t actually think I am in the corset phase just yet" I said, looking at all the kinds of expensive underwear that Victoria´s Secret had to offer.

"Come on Bella, are you going to tell me you are not playing on seducing my cousin soon" she said, bringing me a see through purple bra and panties set.

"Not my style" I said, looking at the dark colors section.

"Come on B, Victoria knows The Secret to make any girl look sexy" Alice said with a wink.

"I just think is too much you know, we haven´t barely hit third base yet" I said lowly, not wanting the entire store to know about my almost existing sex life.

"You are kidding me" she said in shock.

"Your cousin is a very reserved man" I said with a small smile.

"I can´t believe in this, if depends on Edward he is going to die a virgin" Alice said, while looking at a sheer white set of underwear; quite angelical if I may say.

"I don´t think you have anything to worry about" I said making us both laugh, and grabbing a new black push up bra, and a few boy shorts - I was really in need of those.

"Bella, can I ask you a question" Alice said, with uncertain.

"You just made one" I responded.

"No smartass, I am serious" she said, grabbing her new lingerie and going to the cashier to pay for her things.

"Ok, you can ask me anything that doesn't evolve me and your cousin doing the deed" I said, paying for my new sets, I bet I would look dam good with those new panties.

"How come you never talk about Phoenix? Or about your life back there" Alice asked, clearly just plain curious about my past. She was my best friend, I suppose it was only natural for her to want to know about my life.

"There is not much to say, I was born there, grown up there and moved here. No big deal" I said with a shudder, before leaving the store.

"How about that friend of your Angeline" Alice asked me, when I reached for a small table to sit down.

"She was my friend since I was six years old" I said coldly – not really wanting to go down that road again.

"Was? What happened? If you don´t mind me asking it" Alice said, sitting next to me.

"What´s up with you and 20 questions today Alice" I asked annoyed, knowing pretty well I was being rude with my only friend.

"I am sorry, I was just curious. You seem to get pretty upset every time someone brings her up" she said, with an apologetic smile.

"I guess is just a tough subject" I said, running my now sweating hands over my skinny jeans.

"Why?" she asked me.

"Because she is gone, and is entire my fault" I said, finally letting the flashbacks running through me.

_*Flashback – Phoenix 2010 *_

"_How could you be so irresponsible Isabella" Andrea shouted at me._

"_I am so sorry" I said between tears. I didn´t mean for any of this to happen._

"_You have no right to talk to my daughter like this" my mom said, she never actually liked Andrea, especially not bitchy Andrea._

"_Because of her I lost my baby, she was only 16 years old, how could you do this" Andrea shouted desperate, tears streaming down her pale face._

"_You were the one suppose to be driving, not Angeline, not my Angie" she shouted, hugging her husband Peter – which also had tears in his eyes – but stood there strong for his wife._

"_Let´s just take a deep breath here, this is no one's fault it was an accident" John said, hugging me, letting my tears wet his entire expensive shirt._

"_How could you do this Bella" a voice said from the hospital bedroom's door._

"_Christian, I am so sorry" I said between tears, not supporting the idea of losing him too. But I knew that this time I had went too far and was too far gone. This was the last straw. This time I had actually loosened him. He had forgiven me for lot things before, but he would never forgive me after what I did to his baby sister. _

"_So am I Bella, so am I. I just don´t know you anymore" he said, running a hand through his long dark hair, his eyes full of pain and sorrow - before leaving me alone – all alone – all over again._

"_You listen to me - stay away from my son and from my family – or I swear you are going to wish you were the one that didn´t come back from that accident" Andrea said pointing a finger on my direction._

"_Now you went too far, Bella is hurt also and need to rest; she is suffering just like you - please just leave" my mother said, mentioning the door._

"_Let´s go Andrea" Peter said, taking a hysterical Andrea in his arms and leaving._

"_Everything is going to be ok baby" my mom said, kissing my bruised head and drying my tears._

_But I knew that nothing would ever be ok ever again. Today I had lost two of the people´s I most loved in my life._

_Today all my dreams had died inside that car._

_*End of Flashback*_

* * *

On the road to Edward´s house I couldn´t stop thinking about my conversation with Alice. I had tried to lock this inside for so long, not bearing to think about that night - I never stopped to actually consider how much not dealing with all of that had affected my life.

In one night I had lost my best friend, my boyfriend and a promising future. In that night I decided I had no right to keep dreaming and that I should give up all the things that meant so much to me. I wasn´t worth of any of that - after all if Angie couldn´t have all of those things, neither should I.

That was the last time I saw any members of the Michaels family. It was almost two years ago.

I turned off my Mini Cooper engine and felt the suffocating feeling of my pass weight on me. Would Edward act like Christian and leave me for what I did? Did I deserve forgiveness? Did I have the right to be happy after what I have done to my best friend?

While I was still deep in thought Edward was opening the front door for me and inviting me in.

"Bella! How was shopping with the Cullen version of a Shopaholic" Edward asked me, before giving me a sweet kiss in my forehead. I really loved when he did that, he truly made me feel loved in one simple gesture.

"I am glad I am wearing my combat boots today" I said with a smile, putting my messenger bag in a hall arm chair. "Well if you can handle my cousin in a Sales Spring you can take anything life throws at you" he said with a smile.

"Bella dear, I am so glad you made it" Esme said, coming from the kitchen.

"Hey Esme, Mrs. Cooper" I said, still quite shy in front of Edward housekeeper. After all only God knows how many times she may have heard me and Edward in the past couple of months.

"Hello Ms. Swan" Mrs. Cooper said with a small smile, while finishing the dinner.

"I hope you eat meat" Esme said uncertain.

"Well, I got have my protein from somewhere" I said, looking at Edward, remembering how he said the same in our first date.

"I can see why you like her so much, is not everyday a girl can say things only Emmett would say" she said with a smile.

"That´s my girl" he said, pulling me closer to his body.

"Edward, would you set the table please" she asked him.

"Sure ma'" Edward said, going to the dinner room.

"I would like to help" I told her.

"None sense, you are my guest" she said with a warm smile.

The sound of the garage opening and a car movement brought us to the attention that someone had arrived; and that could only be Carlisle Cullen.

"God night Dr. Cullen" Mrs. Cooper said opening the front door to a young blond man around his forties, dressed in gray dress pants, a blue dress shirt, carrying a leather briefcase and a lab coat.

"Good evening" he said formally.

"Carlisle dear, let me introduce you to Bella" Esme said, looking quite dashing next to him. They sure made a gorgeous couple, that's why they made such good looking kids.

"Hello Mr. Cullen" I said, offering him my hand.

"Dr. Cullen" he corrected me politely.

"Father" Edward said, joining us.

"Edward" he said in the same cold tone; I guess Cold War wasn´t over in all the places after all.

"The dinner will be served briefly" Mrs. Cooper said before despairing in the kitchen.

"So, the famous Isabella Swan – I was starting to think you were a mythological creature" he said with a smirk.

"As you can see Dr. Cullen, I am very real" I said trying to be polite.

"Let´s sit in the living room while we wait for supper" Esme said leading us to the pale colors of the warm living room.

"So tell me about you Isabella, I heard that even my brother Andrew had the pleasure of meeting you previously" he said, sitting in an elegant leather arm chair next to the stone fireplace.

"Yeah, I became instant friends with Alice right after I arrived in Jacksonville" I said, trying to sit with my best posture and trying to be the most polite I ever had been. Edward´s father was the most uptight person I had ever known.

"Oh yes, my niece is really quick in making friends, quite the fire ball that one" he said, while Esme brought him some amber drink – scotch I assume.

"And then she meet our son in Advanced Biology; I think Edward finally found a good match for all his activities" Esme said with a small smile on her red lips – it seemed that Mamma Cullen actually wanted Psycho Father to like me.

"A good partner for his studies and not a distraction I presume" he said, taking another sup of his strong drink.

"Bella actually is being a great help; my GPA was never better" Edward said, probably or wanting to impress his father or shut the hell up of him.

"I am glad to hear, after all Isabella I accept nothing but excellence" he said, finishing his drink.

"Excuse me, the dinner is served" Mrs. Cooper said interrupting our little chat.

"Excellent" he said, before getting up and walking in the direction of the dinner room with Esme quickly by his side.

"What a lovely guy" I whispered to Edward.

"No shit" he replied annoyed.

"Thank God you got all on your mother" I said, walking after him to the spacious classic dinner room.

The dining room had high ceiling and white Greek columns all very elegant, yet with an excess feeling of luxury. The walls were the same pale color than the living room, but more intense. There stood a rectangular dinner table with six stuffed Victorian chairs. A huge golden Chandelier hang on the center of the ceiling making the light sparkle all over the room. While the living room was yet as fabulous it had a warm hommely feeling, it was very Esme like; this room had Carlisle all over it – a big ostentious room.

"So Isabella, why did you move to Jacksonville" Carlisle asked, while cutting a huge piece of his stake with potatoes.

"Well my stepfather company promoted him, and he is now the manager of the sector in Jacksonville" I said simply, he really had no business in knew John´s crap. "Interesting, which branch does he work" he asked me.

"He is a Civil Engineer, so he is supervising a lot of constructions in the area" I said, before eating some of my vegetables.

"He seems an intersecting man" Esme said with grace.

"And your father? Didn´t he minded you moving from Arizona to here" he asked coldly.

"My father passed away when I was a child" I said, suddenly loosing my appetite. I really didn´t like to cheap my father´s memory talking like that.

"My condolences" he said.

"Thank you" I reply quickly, not wanting to prolong this uncomfortable moment.

"So Bella, did you already decided with colleges are you going to apply" Esme asked with curiosity.

"Not particularly, I am considering Columbia and Stanford" I said, not really thinking about the plan that I had been working on my entire life. That was not a possibility for me anymore.

"One in New York and other on California – yet both very prestigious" Esme said with a smile, I think she liked my choices.

"What do you plan in majoring in" Carlisle asked me.

"Well I think that probably in Bachelor of Arts and Sciences

"I said quickly. "Aren´t those tow completely opposites" he asked me.

"I like to have different possibilities" I said not wanting to prolong this torture that was the Carlisle Cullen interrogation.

"How curious - Did Edward tell you about his future in Juilliard" Carlisle asked with a smirk.

"He did mention it" I said, not in the mood tonight to talk about that school.

"He is a brilliant musician, I am sure he will achieve a lot if he works really hard" he said, giving Edward a cold glance.

"Honey, I think we are boring the children with this conversation" Esme said, since Edward had barely said a single word since the dinner had started.

"Well, I do have to retire myself anyway, if you all excuse me" he said, before cleaning his mouth with the napkin tissue and left the dining room, despairing from our sight.

"I am sorry for all those questions Bella, I hope you are not offended" Esme said, seeming really ashamed of her husband behavior.

"Not at all Esme" I said with a small smile.

"I don´t want to bore you both anymore. Edward why don´t you go show your music studio to Bella" Esme said, while she and Mrs. Cooper took the rest of our dinner from the table.

"Thanks mom, let´s go Bella" Edward said, taking me by the hand.

* * *

Edward took me to a room that I had never seen before in all the other times I had been in his house. The previous basement had been converted in a music studio, with light wood floors and bright walls. It was a place that Edward clearly felt comfortable being in.

"Well, this is my music room" he said looking around the room.

"Is pretty awesome if you ask me" I said with a smile.

"Yeah, like you noticed my father really invests in my future" he said, sitting in a chair in front of a recording table.

"I think he was pretty clear about your future as a pianist – he thinks you are the next Mozart" I said sitting in front of him, in a white leather coach.

"He wish" Edward said timidly, like it was no big deal all the things he could do with a piano.

"I think you are incredible Edward, you really should give yourself some credit" I said.

"Since we are talking about this, I want to show you something I wrote, if that's ok with you" he asked with uncertain.

"You can show me whatever you want to – I am sure it will be great" I said, expecting to hear some erudite music I wouldn´t know shit about; yet one more time my boy did surprised me.

"I wrote this for you" he said, picking up an acoustic guitar and starting to play it.

_**Larger Than Life **_

_Why do I feel larger the life  
When I'm alone with you  
And why do the answers all come down to,  
I do, I do?_

Look at my face, into my eyes  
I've been touched by you  
Give me your hand  
Take me away  
Oh baby tell me the true

Why do I feel larger the life  
When I'm alone with you  
And why do the answers all come down to,  
I do, I do, I do?

And why are the tears we cry from laughter..  
It's good, it's so damn good...  
Maybe this is the everafter for me and for you

Take of my time, take of my trust  
I give it all to you  
Don't say that you love me  
Don't say a word  
I feel the same way too

Why do I feel larger the life  
When I'm alone with you  
And why do the answers all come down to,  
I do, I do, I do?

And why are the tears we cry from laughter..  
It's good, it's so damn good...  
Maybe this is the everafter for me and for you

I know what it feels like  
What it feels like  
When you are on your own  
This doesn't feels like  
It don't feel like  
Nothing nothing but known

Why do I feel larger the life  
When I'm alone with you  
And why do the answers all come down to,  
I do, I do, I do?

And why are the tears we cry from laughter..  
We're good, we're so damn good...

_Maybe this is the everafter for me and for you_

His skilled fingers played the guitar with precision and passion. His eyes were closed and his voice was rough, and yet felt like velvet on my skin, this man was more than I could ever expect it for.

And without saying those 4 little words I knew that what he felt for me was real. It was much more than some teenaged infatuation, much more than lust, much more than any of this.

That was the night I knew that Edward Cullen really loved me.

And I think I may love him back.

* * *

_**A/N:What did you guys think? Sorry for any grammar erros,I promise it will soon be fixed!**_

_**Take care!**_

_**xx**_

_**C.**_


	16. I Want You To Want Me

**Chapter 16 – I Want You to Want Me**

**A/N**_**: I am so sorry for this 7 month delay. I know some of you have lost faith in this story, but my life was a mess since August. I got pneumonia, my grandmother passed away, I got really depressed and basically I couldn't write anymore. My life was terrible and I started my Masters Degree also. But I promise to not give up on this story that I love so much if you guys don't.**_

_**Thank you for all your support! Enjoy!**_

* * *

**EPOV**

_The sound of music woke me up from my deep sleep. I pushed down the covers, feeling the foggy sensation that sleep had left on me. While my feet touched the soft carpet, I slowly stretched my body. It was a nice feeling, comfortable, the tension melting away. When the sun was high and it was another hot summer day everything felt different._

_I walked down the stairs expecting my parents to be in the kitchen having their Saturday morning breakfast as usual, but to my surprise I only found deep silence and they were nowhere to be seen. Yet the low sound of a soft velvet voice kept me going._

_I could hear the faint sounds of a lyric being sung by a female – but I just couldn't get what it was saying._

_I kept looking for the voice, going through the gardens to the backyard. And there she was between the flowers and tress, looking like an ancient goddess – glorious and wild – laying down in the sun. Her skin was glowing from the extreme heat of the summer, her cheeks even more pink than usual, with a small smirk on her soft lips._

"_What are you doing here?" I asked her shocked, mesmerized by her beauty._

"_That's the way you treat the woman you love?" she asked me with a wicked smile while playing with a soft strand of mahogany hair._

"_How did you get past my father?" I asked confused, while she sat comfortably on one of the pool chairs._

"_Does it really matter?" she asked me with a smile, getting up from her place in the sun._

"_No," I answered trying not to focus on the way her nipples seemed to harden with each breath she took._

_She walked slowly in my direction wearing only a small blue bikini – the girly plaid type. Her long dark hair was falling down her back in waves; her porcelain skin had a light bronze shade from the sun. Never had she looked more beautiful to me than in that moment._

"_Why won't you touch me Edward?" she asked me, running her hands down my bare chest._

"_I don't know what to do," I said feeling like an inexperienced idiot. Here she was, this goddess, and I didn't know shit about how to please her._

"_You always make me feel so good – stop worrying so much and just enjoy," she said before pulling my head down and giving me a hard kiss._

_Her lips were hot, her tongue demanding my attention, her hands were pressing my hard body over her soft one. My hands went to her cheek, trying to softly touch her pale skin, trying to show her in one simple touch how much she meant to me. How I could never express how she had already changed my life forever. I tried to be gentle and appreciate this deity in front of me, but my body seemed to have ideas of its own. My traitor dick just couldn't hold on any longer._

"_God, I want you so much," she said, pushing me onto the lounge chair before straddling me on it. Her hot core kept rubbing against my thin sleep pants._

"_Fuck," I said when my hard cock shivered against her hot pussy._

"_I need you inside me so bad," she said, pushing my head to her right breast while one of her hands was guiding my hand inside of her blue bikini._

"_Bella," I moaned, feeling how tight and wet she was. She was always so wet. So fucking wet._

"_Just fuck me already, Edward," she said before pushing her bikini to the side and taking me whole inside of her in one long, deep thrust._

"_Fuck," I shouted, feeling my dick going so deep into her hot and wet cave. It was too much for me, too good and too fast. The need to fuck her was more than I could take. Before I could even thrust deep inside of her I was gone, and my cum was running down her creamy thighs._

"_Well, who knows? Maybe you'll be more lucky next time," she said softly before getting up from my lap, leaving me in one hot mess._

* * *

"Fuck," I shouted against my pillow, feeling my hand all covered in my cum.

Even in my sleep I apparently couldn't get enough of Bella. Things had been getting pretty intense in the last few weeks, her soft touches, her hot kisses, even her casual glances seemed to be enough to drive me crazy. That woman was making me insane.

I knew that the rate we were going wasn't enough for her. I knew because every time we were together she asked me not to stop, yet I stopped every single time. It was not like I didn't want to have sex with my girlfriend, who wouldn't? She was one of the hottest women I had ever met. But while Bella had plenty of experience in the sex department, I on the other hand, was only very intimate with my right hand. And I knew that it was only a matter of time before Bella got enough of my bull and decided I wasn´t worth the trouble. I knew if I didn´t decide to man up soon and finally try to satisfay my girlfriend´s need´s she might find someone else to do it and I would be dammed if I would let that happend.

It was no secret that I was a virgin. Fuck it, Jasper had been teasing me about this forever. No wonder my brother thought I was gay. I didn't even have the guts to buy porn. But with the internet who needs to buy porn magazine´s anyway?

But it was much more complicated than that. It wasn't just about me not having sex. I was never a very secure kind of guy. Through my first years of adolescence things were pretty bad for me. I was too tall, too skinny and too fumbling. I had always been awkward. The only thing I was always good was with music, which I guess explains why I'd always rather spend a Saturday night in my music room than at one of Emmett's many parties. That and the bunch of douche bags that used to attend those events, bullies like Mike Newton and his gang. After all I was already bullied at school, I didn't need it in my house.

I guess I was a big coward. I could defend myself, I really could, but that is so beside the point. Emm made sure to take me with him to train, so I could get strong and be able to defend myself. It didn't matter that I could have kicked Mike's ass a long time ago, but I really shouldn't have to. That is the point. He had nothing to do with how I decided to live my life or how to spend my free time. But I can't lie and say that all those things he and his friends had done to me hadn't left a mark. It's like they say _"__The wound heals, but the scar, that scar remains"._

Maybe that's why I was always doubting Bella's feeling's for me. And maybe that's why I wasn't moving forward with our relationship. After all how could I believe she really was interested in me if even I couldn't understand what she saw in me. I was just the Other Cullen.

Ok Edward, stop feeling sorry for yourself and quit being a dick, Bella is different. She sees YOU! The real you, not the empty version that the entire school decided believe. So don't cheapen your relationship like that. You love Bella and maybe one day she will love you too.

* * *

"I think I need some help," I said right when Jasper answered his phone.

"No shit Sherlock, that's what I've been telling you all these years," he said with sarcasm.

"No man, I really need some help," I said nervously pushing my glasses back in place.

"Ok, Edward, what is going on?" he asked me in a serious tone.

"Could you come over? I'd rather talk about it in person," I said, trying to put my books back in place.

"I'll be there in a few then," he said, before hanging up.

I tried to tidy up a little, otherwise Jasper would be a whining bitch about it. No one but me and Alice knew what an actual bitch he was about cleaning. While I was picking up my music sheets from my desk I saw that Emm was online on Skype. And for a second I wondered what my brother would say about all of these things?

Before I could even make my decision I had a call coming from my brother. I thought about not picking it up, ignoring it like I tended to do, but I missed my brother. No matter how annoying he was, Emmett was my big brother, and if there was one person on the planet who understand a lot about the opposite sex it was Emmett Cullen.

"What's up little bro?" Emm said from his side of the screen, wearing nothing but basketball shorts and a smile on his face.

"I hope that you're wearing underwear under that," I said with disgust.

"Oh yeah, Rosie's lacy panties. You know how much I love a nice pair of panties," he said with a smirk.

"Jerk," I said annoyed.

"Bitch," he replied like he had done our entire life. It felt like it was only yesterday since I had seen my brother, and not months.

"So how is California?" I asked him.

"Sunny," he said with a smile.

"No shit," I laughed. God Emm was such a clown.

"Come on Eddie, what has your panties in a twist again?" he asked me, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I am not, I'm cool," I said, pushing my glasses back in place.

"Edward you always were such a fucking bad liar," he laughed.

"It's just, that... I don't even know how to say this," I said, feeling insecure and stupid for even being ashamed to talk about this with Emm.

"Just spit it out, Edward," he annoyed.

"I need to know how to make my girlfriend feel good when we have sex," I said too low and too fast. Hoping that he wouldn't understand and that there was no need for me to die right here in shame.

"What?" Emmett shouted.

"What the fuck man?" Jasper said at the same time from my bedroom door.

"Don't you knock anymore?" I said, irritated and hiding my face with my hands. I could feel how red hot my cheeks were getting. I was more than humiliated, I was mortified.

"I can't believe little Eddie is about to loose his V-card. God this is too good to be true. Rosie come here babe, you got to see this," Emmett shouted, looking to somewhere inside his apartment.

"Thank you sweet Jesus! I thought this day would never come," Jasper shouted excitedly.

"I'm glad my life can amuse you both. Now close the fucking door," I said to him.

"God you so need to get laid. Who knows, maybe then you will loose that stick inside your ass," Jasper said before jumping on my bed.

"First of all fuck you! Sometimes I wonder why I am even friends with your sorry ass," I said feeling ridiculed.

"It's because I am fucking gorgeous," he said with a smile.

"What's up Jazz?" Emm said to the camera.

"Emmett my man – long time no see," Jazz said.

"You two pussies need to come visit me sometime, California is awesome," Emmett said with a smile.

"It works both ways you know" I said with a smirk.

"Oh poor Edward, already complaining about his life to his big brother_. 'My name is Edward, I am a loner virgin emo'_" Rosalie said mocking me.

"Blondie, I didn't know you were here, 'cause if I'd known I would never have said anything," I said angrily.

"No shit, but guess what? If you want to get that dick wet you so need my help," she said, jumping on my brother's lap and looking like the annoying bitch she always was.

"God, kill me now," I said, hitting my head over my keyboard.

"Just stop being a pussy and listen..." she started to say.

"I really don't need another person that has been nothing but mean to me to say shit about my life," I shouted.

"She's mean to everybody," Jasper said.

"I see you've still got your sidekick. So still think cowboy boots are in fashion do you?" she asked with sarcasm.

"Fuck you," he said with a smile.

"I've already been, thank you very much," she said with an evil smile.

"I think I just threw up in my mouth," Jasper said annoyed.

"God this is pointless," I said, feeling like an idiot to even think this might actually work.

"Babe, be nice," Emmett said to her.

"I am always nice" she said before putting a small kiss on his lips.

"I think she's right bro. Who better to talk about pussy, than someone who owns one?" Emm said.

"Do you need to be so crude about it?" I asked snappily.

"Yes," all of them said at the same time.

"Well Edward, I guess that today I am going to teach you how to trully fuck a pussy," she said with a smirk.

"Let´s start_** Operation Edward –The Last Virgin**_** on the Planet**" Jasper said with a laugh.

What the hell had I gotten myself into?

* * *

"Oh, we should do this some other time. It was a blast," Rosalie said excited laughing like a crazy woman.

"No, please no," I said dying of embarassemt. Trust me, you don´t want to know that much about your brother´s girlfriend's sex life EVER!

"Oh come on bro, Rosie here is a genius, even you have to admit that!" Emm said laughing at my embarassement.

"I have to say that I might have learned a new thing or two," Jasper said with a shrug.

"Let´s just pretend this conversation never happend okay?" I said, feeling dirty all of a sudden.

"Okay, all this sex talk's got me horny. Baby I need you," Rosalie said, before biting lightly on Emmett's neck.

"Ok guys I have a lady that needs me so I'm going to go. Let me know when you loose your V-card bro. See ya," he said quickly before ending the call.

"Well that was disturbing," Jasper said.

"You think?" I asked with sarcasm. Really dude, TMI here!

"_That kind lovin'__  
__Turns a man to a slave__  
__That kind lovin'__  
__Sends a man right to his grave__I go crazy, crazy, baby, I go crazy__  
__You turn it on__  
__Then you're gone__  
__Yeah you drive me__  
__Crazy, crazy, crazy for you baby__  
__What can I do, honey__  
__I feel like the color blue."_

"Hey baby," Jasper said picking up his phone.

"Crazy hmm? Very clever," I said. Who wouldn´t get crazy after dating Alice for months?

"Nah that´s just Edward being annoying as always. No we were just haging out, playing videogames and shit," Jasper said casually.

"Please, don´t have phone sex in front of me," I said, pushing him out of my bed and lying down on it, feeling like my head was going to explode.

"Yeah, why don´t you stop by and we can have a small party the four of us? Besides Mrs.C. makes some mean cookies," he said with a laugh.

"Is Bella with her?" I asked, getting up from the bed.

"Yeah baby, I miss you too. Love you too. Bye," He said,turning off the phone.

"You better take a shower and get of those damn PJs because Bella and Ally are coming here," he said with a smile.

"And you just tell me this now?" I shouted at him, before grabbing my things to take a shower and get of my funk.

"I am telling you now. Oh nice, World of Warcraft," he said,before sitting at my desk and ruining my campain. Oh the things that I did for love.

* * *

"I am telling you, Bella, she had been doing a blow job for Mike Newton not less than 15 minutes before, then all a sudden she gets all over Eric Yorkie," Alice said, while opening the iron gates that led to my backyard.

"Why am I not surprised? Lauren is such a bitch," Bella said while putting her long locks in a high messy bun. Fuck she was hot – she was wearing something very close to what she wore in my dream. I could see that behind her ripped jeans shorts and cropped gray t-shirt rested a blue bikini. Please God kill me now before I sport a tent in front of my best friend and cousin.

"It's just wrong to blow a guy and then go stick your tongue down his best friend's throat," Alice said with disgust in her voice.

"I mean, there needs to be a limit right?" Bella responded with a big laugh – God I loved when she laughed, she had such an amazing laugh.

"I think somebody has to tell Lauren that," Alice said while walking in our direction.

Jasper and I had decided to do a small jam session while we waited for the girls, so we'd taken our guitars and went to lay close to the pool in the backyard. I bet they didn´t even notice we were playing and not the radio 'til they came real close. We were that good.

"Oh God, I love _10 Things I Hate About You, _is like my favorite movie ever," Alice said excitedly running over to Jasper who was singing and playing with one of my accoustic guitars.

"I hope you know this is a 1977 song right?" Bella said with a smile.

"Nerd," Alice said while singing along with the lyrics.

**_I Want You To Want Me _**_**– Cheap Trick**_

_I want you to want me._

_I need you to need me._

_I'd love you to love me._

_I'm beggin' you to beg me._

_I want you to want me._

_I need you to need me._

_I'd love you to love me._

_I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand new shirt._

_I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me._

_Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?_

_Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?_

_Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'._

_Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?_

_I want you to want me._

_I need you to need me._

_I'd love you to love me._

_I'm beggin' you to beg me._

_I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt._

_I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me._

_Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?_

_Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?_

_Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'._

_Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?_

_Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'._

_Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?_

_I want you to want me._

_I need you to need me._

_I'd love you to love me._

_I'm beggin' you to beg me._

_I want you to want me._

_I want you to want me._

_I want you to want me._

_I want you to want me_

While I was playing my own accoustic guitar with Jazz I could see Bella smiling through her dark Wayfarer Ray-Bans. I knew she loved Cheap Trick as much as I did. It would always amazing me what brilliant taste she had in music. I remember when a few weeks ago she showed me an old box of records that had belonged to her father. She said that listening to his favorite music always made her feel like she was still close to her dad. And Cheap Trick was one of his favorite bands also, so when she told me that they used to dance listening to '_Voices' _I'd never felt more close to her.

No matter how much she tried to look like a bad ass I knew she was just a girl that had been hurt too many times. That´s how I knew that everytime she listened to that song she cried because she missed her dad.

And that was the kind of small thing that made me love her even more. I just wanted her to want me as much as I wanted her.

"Are you trying to say something to me, Edward?" Bella said sitting next to me.

"Should I?" I said, before lightly kissing her on the lips.

"I don't know," she said, trying to deepen our kiss.

"If I was trying to sing my feelings out for you I probably would try this one," I said, before starting to sing the lyrics that meant so much to me.

"_Wherever you go i'll be with you  
Whatever you want i'll give it to you  
Whenever you need someone  
To lay your heart and head upon  
Remember after the fire after all the rain  
I will be the flame  
I will be the flame"_

"Are you trying to get laid baby?" she asked, taking off her sun glasses, her eyes full of emotion.

"Why? Is it working?" I joked.

"Maybe," she replied with a big smile.

"I think it´s getting too hot and heavy in here," Alice said while running her hands through Jasper´s hair.

"Maybe we need to leave the love birds alone for a while. Come on baby, let´s get some pancakes," Jasper said, winking at me and taking the pixie with him.

"God I love a late breakfast," Ally said, before climbing on Jasper´s motocycle and leaving Bella and me alone.

"So where are Mama C. and Mr. Asshole?" Bella asked me before pulling off her flip flops and laying down on the chaise beside me.

"I bet they are playing tennis with Mr. and Mrs. Braden," I said not taking my eyes off Bella – she got more gorgeous each day.

"How very rich people of them," she said, pushing her sun glasses back in place.

"I guess it's their guilty pleasure," I said to her, puting down my guitar.

"Please don´t speak about your parents and pleasure at the same time... Wait just a minute, are you trying to say that we're alone?" she asked me with a malicious smile.

"Alone at last. Come with me," I said to her, helping her get up and walking back to the house.

We quickly went up the stairs, and I could see the look of surprise in Bella´s face when she realized we were in my bedroom.

"Okay, are we going to play Halo or something like that? Because you know I suck and all," she asked confused.

"No," I said, before grabbing her by the waist,her body right over my own.

I didn´t leave any time for one of her smart comments, my need for her was too big, not just my physical need to be with this gorgeous woman – but to show her how much I desired her and how much she made me feel like a man – how much I loved her.

"Edward," she monaed against my mouth, her hands grabbing my hair with such a force it almost hurt, but I was too turned on to care.

"Just don´t say anything," I said, before sucking the pale skin of her neck. She tasted so good, sweet and spicy at the same time. Something so Bella.

My hands went down her waist to slide to her firm ass, squeezing it, making her move against my now very hard cock. I walked us until the back of her knees touched my bed, and softly I pushed her on it.

I could hear her moans and feel her heart beating fast against my chest. I knew my new atitude was shocking her, but I knew she was enjoying every second of it. In all those months we had been together she never got over this thrill of just making out with me.

The feel of her soft body under mine, on my bed no less, was making me consider just ripping her clothes off and burying myself deep inside of her hot core. But I knew if I did that I would regret it. Our first time should be something special and not just a quicky before my parents came back from the Club.

But that didn´t mean we couldn´t have a little bit of fun.

"Edward, come back," Bella said, trying not to let me get up, but this time I wasn´t getting up to stop I was just too hot.

I quickly took of my t-shirt and my converses - while she also took off her croped t-shirt, leaving her only in her plaid blue bikini and ripped jean shorts - her toned stomach covered in a thin layer of sweat while her full breats were taunting me in the small cup of her bikini top.

Before I could chicken out I pushed aside the material of her bikini, exposing to me her perky pink nipple. First I just wanted a small taste, a small lick, a small caress. But the taste of her aroused skin made that sweet kiss become a hunger for more. One lick became my lips around her nipple, biting and sucking in my mouth. Her moans filled my bedroom walls which had only seen the shy boy, now full of sounds of skin against skin and deep pleasure.

"More," she moaned making me suck her right breast harder, while my hand caressed the left one.

Her hips kept pushing over my clothed jeans, and no matter how much the friction was delicious, this was not about my pleasure and my aching dick. This time it was all about Bella.

My hands left her breats and went to her shorts, opening up the button and then pulling down the zípper. She helped me get rid of it, throwing them somewhere on the floor. I didn't bother to look where they went, all I wanted was to get her naked as soon as possible.

My hands went inside her bikini botom, looking for her delicious pussy.

"Fuck you are so wet," I said, kissing her firmly on the lips while my fingers went to her core, lightly touching her moist cave, all tight and begging to be fucked. She was so wet that her thighs were getting wet and I couldn´t wait one more minute.

My fingers were wet and two easily pumped in and out of her. She was so tight that I got worried about blowing my load like 5 seconds after we started.

I found her clit like she had taught me the last time we hooked up, and my name came out between hot moans of her lips, but this time I needed to give her more. So I unwrapped her bikini strings leaving her exposed to me. Never had she been more beautiful.

I kissed her flat stomach, her belly button, down to her hip bones and to her shaved pussy. I didn´t know what to expect, but I'd heard it was one of the best things a guy could taste, and they were right.

The first taste on my tongue of her clit sent sparks over my body. I was even more turned on, my cock hard as stone and I was addicted to it. That one small lick turned into m tongue fucking her clit while my fingers went deep inside of her. Good hand coordination was an unexpected reward for all my piano lessons.

"Oh fuck Edward, please don´t stop," she said, pushing my head deeper and harder onto her.

I sucked harder and pumped faster, her thighs were closing over my head, and she was so wet that I was pretty sure it would stain my sheets. But I knew she needed more and so I gaver her more. I took out my fingers and went deeper, fucking her with my tongue.

She started moaning louder and I knew I was getting her close, she kept pushing my head deeper into her, my tongue going as fast as I could, drunk on her sweet taste.

"Deeper baby, faster, I need you to fuck me with you tongue," she said, grabbing my hair and pulling at it, trying to reach her release.

I fucked her hard and deep, my fingers pushing her clit so that she would feel so fucking good. I needed to give her this.

Before I could even know what was going on she was cumming all over my face. Her hot liquids went down my chin, and I dried her clean with my tongue. To feel her orgasm was the best feeling I had ever experienced. There was nothing compared to making the person you love happy and satisfied.

"Oh fuck," she said, pushing me lightly away from her sensitive pussy.

"Indeed," I said, feeling pretty damn happy with myself.

"I always knew you had it in you," she said before lightly kissing me on my lips.

"I just had a really good teacher. A really hot, amazing, gorgeous,smart,wonderful teacher," I said, between kisses.

"Well then I guess you are in for a nice reward..." she said with a malicious smile, her hands going down to my now very hard leaking cock.

"Edward, baby we're home," my mother shouted from downstairs, closing the front door.

"Shit," Bella shouted, falling down from the bed, looking for her clothes.

"Bella, calm down," I said,trying to get my boner to fade by thinking about Emmett in Rosalie's lingerie and my dad's speeches about responsability.

"If your mother opens that door I swear I will never suck your dick ever," she said with a murderous look.

Who knew that someday I would be cock blocked by my own parents? Who knew my life could suddenly look so normal?

* * *

_**A/N: So what did you guys think? I am sorry for the Hiatus,but I promise to update more like I was till July! Please don´t give upo n me and let me know what you guys think.**_

_**Reviews makes the heart grown fonder and the fingers type faster.**_

_**Lot´s of love to LeKat for being the best Beta ever!**_

_**Xoxo**_

_**PoisonAngelMuse**_


	17. The One That Got Away

**Chapter 17 – The One That Got Away**

**A/N: I hope you guys have some tissues, 'cause this might end up being emotional! Enjoy!**

* * *

**BPOV**

I have to say that life in Jacksonville still surprised me everyday. No, I am not talking about the weather or the amount of time people spent on the beach or even fishing. It was the small things that made me love this city a little bit more every day.

It was seeing how happy my mom wass to teach kindergarden again, it's seeing John´s pride when he talked about the new work site he's building, it's seeing my little sister beg for a puppy and have her biggest dream come true. His name is Thor and he is a Cocker Spaniel – what can I say, the little guy runs at the speed of light.

But what made me the happiest was the new people in my life. I can barely remember what my life was like before Edward, Alice, and Jasper. I mean, I can remember what it was, I just didn´t like what I remembered. While my life in Phoenix was full of dark memories of a sad past, Jacksonville was sunshine, warm and sweet. It had been years since I'd been this happy.

"Bella, are you even listening to what I'm saying?" Alice asked from her bed where we were actually studying for a Chemistry test next week.

"Of course I am, Ally," I said laughing at her annoyed expression.

"Listen here Bells, not everyone is like super smart like you and Edward, some of us actually have to study hard to pass a test," she said, throwing a turquoise pillow in my direction.

"Are you always this dramatic?" I asked, looking up from my notes.

"Since she was in my womb," Catherine said from Alice´s bedroom door.

"Mother!" Alice shouted in a reprehensive tone.

"Hey, ," I said with a smile. Damn I wish I would look this hot when I got to my 40's. The woman looked like a Hollywood star with her light, long, wavy brown hair and bright blue eyes. While Alice got her charms and amazing smile from her father, her pale skin and blue eyes were all her mom's. _**(look at my polyvore account – link on my profile page)**_

"Hey Bella. I can see you two are deep in some studying here," she said, sitting in Alice´s white arm chair.

"Yeah, we've got this really complicated test next week, so we decided to start studying," I said to her.

"It's nice to see two responsible teenagers. Those days it´s rare to see," she said with a smile.

"Mom, don´t go all therapist on Bella," Alice said rolling her eyes at her mom´s comment.

"It´s ok," I said looking down at my hands. I figured wouldn´t think I was so responsible after all if she knew about all of the bagage I'd brought with me.

"You know, Bella, I strongly believe that a person is not defined by the mistakes of her past, but by what she makes of them in the present," she said with a warm smile.

"Ok stop harassing my best friend," Alice said angrily.

"Ok ok I'm going. So sensitive this one," Catherine said in a defensive pose.

"Alice be nice, your mom is cool," I said to Alice's annoyance.

"See kiddo, I'm cool," Catherine said with an arched eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah mom your are 'the bomb'," Alice said with sarcasm.

"Ok grumpy, I'm going to leave you two alone. I have to get ready for my hot date," she said with a big smile, leaving me and Alice alone one more time.

"Hot date?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, it´s a thing with my parents," Alice replied, pulling her long hair in a messy bun.

"A thing?" I asked curiously.

"It´s like their own little tradition, every two weeks they try to go out on a date to have some alone time. They've been doing it since I was ten," she said, trying to quickly end the subject.

"Are you trying to say that every two weeks your parents go out to have monkey sex?" I asked laughing.

"Oh God, why did you have to say that? Now I will have to bleach my brain to get rid of that image," she said, falling back on her white bed.

"Man, this is precious," I said, laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee in my pants.

"Yeah, laugh all you want, but one of these days you're going to see your mom and John doing the nasty, and then it won't be that funny anymore. Stop laughing Bella!" Alice shouted, trying to make me stop laughing at her expense.

"Ok I'm sorry. It´s just that your parents look like they're living an eternal honeymoon," I said to her.

"It feels like that to me," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Your parents are just so different from Edward´s parents. I mean Esme is great and all, but Carlisle looks like he has something stick in his ass,". I said, remembering how harsh Edward´s dad had been all the times I'd seen him.

"I guess my uncle does get on some people´s nerves," she said, putting down her books on the beside table.

"I just don´t get it Ally. Why is your uncle such an asshole when your dad is so nice? I guess 'two peas in a pod' doesn´t actually apply here," I said.

"It´s a long story," she said with a sigh.

"I've got time," I said with a smile.

"Well I guess we can say that my father and my uncle have very different personalities. But more than that this has a lot to do with Mr. Edward Cullen Senior, my grandfather," she said sadly.

"What about him?" I asked with curiosity.

"Well my granfather is a very complicated man. He worked his way to the top to make a name for the Cullens. Coming from a poor family he wanted the best for his own. Even if he was a hard worker he was also a very kind and loving husband and father, and when my dad was 7 years old my grandmother got pregnant with my uncle Carlisle. It was a very complicated pregnancy and since she had lost a baby before, she was very careful, staying in bed for almost all nine months. But all that care was not enough. There were some complications in the delivery and she died a few weeks after Uncle Carlisle was born. My grandfather was never the same after that. I think he did the best that he could raising two young boys by himself and still making his business grow. But the memory and the pain of losing my grandma was too much, and he lost that spark I guess," Alice said, picking up an antique picture frame from her vanity.

"That´s so sad. I 'm sorry for your grandmother," I said to her, thinking about how much I missed my grandma Marie. She still lived in Phoenix, and yet it had been months since I'd last spoken to her.

"It´s ok. I feel sorry for my dad though – he always used to tell me stories about her, how amazing, caring, and beautiful she was. Look this is her, Elizabeth Ann Cullen," Alice told me, handing me the portrait.

"Wow, you look a lot like her," I told her. Even in the black and white picture with the 60's retro look, we could see the similarity between Alice and her Grandma – the cheekbones, the smile and the dark hair that Emmett also had.

"My grandfather is the blond side of the family, that's why my dad and Uncle Carlisle are blondes, but Emm and me kind of look like her I guess," she said with a smile.

"I guess that means Edward only has the same name as your grandparents and nothing else," I said with a smirk.

"Yeah, he is all Aunt Esme´s, but I think his piano skills are something he and my grandma both shared. Apparently she was pretty good on it. I guess that´s why my uncle always pushed Edward so hard to be the best at it," she said, putting the picture back in its place.

"Yeah, it must be really sad to not meet your mom," I said, feeling sorry for Edward´s dad for the first time.

"Yeah, and besides he and my grandfather were never that close. Even when my uncle decided to name his son in his honor, things didn´t improve much from what I've heard," she told me.

"Ok, the Edward one I get it, but Emmett too?" I asked confused.

"It was my great-grandfather's name," she said laughing.

"Are your named for someone too? Like a lost great aunt or distant cousin?" I asked laughing.

"I guess my mom really liked _Alice in Wonderland,_" Alice said laughing.

"Cute," I replied laughing also. God how nice it was to have Alice Cullen in my life.

"Well, it's good you already know all of this, so you won´t think it's too strange if you see my grandfather giving my uncle the silent treatment at the party next week," she said.

"What party?" I asked confused.

"Oh my God! I can´t believe Edward forgot to tell you. Thank God I told you, otherwise my aunt would have been so pissed if you missed it because he was too busy playing video games to properly invite his girlfriend," Alice said annoyed.

"Alice, slow down! What the hell are you talking about?" I said, feeling more confused by the second.

"Bella, next Saturday is my aunt and uncle´s 20 year anniversary. There will be a huge party to celebrate it! I can´t belive Edward forgot to invite you!" she said sounding very frustrated.

"Hey it´s no big deal. I'm sure that he would have said something about it sooner or later," I told her, trying to defend my poor Edward. That boy had so many things going on lately. That hot, amazing, lovely boy. Who knew he was such a fast learner – I thought remembering how hot our last meeting had been, his hands on my skin, his body hard against mine, his delicious tongue – from a shy geek to sex God in a few months. I always knew he had it on him, he just needed a little help to loose it. And I would be dammed if I wouldn´t enjoy every delicious sencond of it.

"Bella, you are so not getting it! This is one of the most anticipated parties of the year. You don´t just go to it, there is a lot of planning to do beforehand," she said, looking at me like I was crazy for suggesting that Edward´s attitude was ok.

"Alice it's just a party. We can pick up something for me to wear on Friday if you're that worried," I said rolling my eyes at her.

"Isabella Swan, don´t you roll your eyes at me! We are not talking about just some party, we are talking about a freaking Gala here!" she shouted, jumping from her bed in the direction of her monsterous closet.

"Alice, what the hell are you doing?" I asked, going after her, only to find her throwing long dresses from one side of her closet to the other.

"What do you think I'm doing? We've got to find you something perfect to wear," she said, looking like that was the most normal thing in the world.

"You don´t have to do that. I have my own clothes, thank you very much," I said, sitting in a small arm chair on the side of the closet.

"You've got to be kidding right? Bella, I live for these moments! I've never said anything about your military rocker chick kind of look, so do not take this from me," she said, using her puppy eyes trick.

"Fine you annoying Pixie," I said, wondering what kind of crazy _Haute Couture __she had in store for me._

* * *

"I am so glad we don´t have the same shoe size," I said, laying down on my own bed while Alice roamed my entire closet looking for the perfect pair of heels for the Gala. Or at least that was what she told me she was trying to do.

"You will be so happy I am doing this for you when you see the people at the party," she said, throwing my things around from one side to the other.

"I don´t care what they think," I said annoyed.

"No, but I bet you want to look hot for Edward, and he will so love that deep blue J. Mendel lattice gown we picked for you," she said excitedly.

"That you picked you mean," I said, feeling ridiculous to be a gigantic Barbie doll for Alice.

"No, we decided on that one. I am so glad that I went to Barney's last time I was in New York! It was such a good purchase," she said, looking between a pair of black peep toes and deep blue suede pumps.

"Oh yeah, a $6,000 dress that's still got a price label on! Really, Ally I think you should be the one wearing it and not me," I said thinking about the deep blue silk mousselin strapless gown with lattice woven bodice and fine accordion pleated skirt, feeling really uncormfortable with this. I wasn´t rich but also wasn´t poor. Me and my family had a very comfortable life, but I just didn´t go out buying very expensive dresses from time to time.

"Bella, I told you I was going to wear my new Marchesa yellow dress that my dad bought for me on his last trip to London," she explained like it was so simple. Her dress was indeed gorgeous – a deep V-neck gown from Notte by Marchesa. Cut in flowing silk, it came finished with sequin and crystal embellishment, perfectly defining her pixie figure. – a thing that I never expected any parent to pick for his own daughter. But Andrew Cullen was one of the most intriguing people I had met in my entire life.

_**(sets on my polyvore account – link on my profile)**_

"Hmm Bella, I don't want to intrude or anything, but who is this hottie?" she asked, holding a picture that had been put away for a very long time. I had almost forgot how gorgeous his face was.

Christian.

"Where did you find that?" I asked, feeling my hands lightly shake. He always had this effect on me, even after all these years.

"It was in one of your shoe boxes, with a bunch of other pictures," Alice said, clearly uncomfortable for finding those pictures.

"It's been a while since I last saw those," I said, taking the black and white picture in my hands. I remembered that day so well; it was his last day of high school, he had his backpack on and the wind was blowing his long dark hair. His eyes were deep brown, his beard looked like it hadn't been shaved for a few days, and he looked tired. We had fought a lot that week. I was so angry he was leaving for college, leaving his family, Angie, and especially me. How could he choose to be away from the person he said he loved? _**(pictures in my polyvore account – link on my profile)**_

"So Bells, who is it?" Alice asked with caution.

"This is Christian, he was my first boyfriend," I said, feeling the need to sit down for a little while.

"Oh, that Christian. He was the brother of your best friend Angeline right?" she asked, sitting next to me on the bed, her hands still holding that shoe box that held little pieces of my past.

"This is Angie," I said, grabbing a bunch of other pictures I hadn't seen in years. She and I in our first ballet recital, with our little pink tutus; us in front of Angie´s first car; me and Christian holding each other; Angie and I in school; me wearing his leather jacket and aviators; and the last picture I took of Angie before the accident – she was laying down in her living room, her long brown hair falling down her face and her deep green eyes looking right at me – it was like she could see right through me. _**( pictures on my polyvore account).**_

"Wow, she is gorgeous," Alice said, looking down at the picture in my hands.

"Yeah she was always very beautiful," I said in a sad tone, lightly touching the picture.

"You know, you never told me the entire story," Alice said with a compreensive tone. I think that it was clear that this was a difficult subject for me. Maybe Alice would be the one to understand me, to really see my pain, to see all the things I had lost.

"It's a very long story," I said, remembering that not long ago she had used the same words with me.

"I think I've got some free time," she said, lightly giving me a small friendly hug.

"It all started when I was six years old..." I started to tell her the tale of my past.

_** Flashback**_

_Six year old Bella._

"_Mommy I don't wanna go," I whined to my mom, crossing my arms, feeling the tears starting to pool in my eyes._

"_But why baby? You love to go dance," my mom said, lightly touching my hair._

"_The girls are mean there," I said sitting on the floor._

"_I'm sure this year is going to be different, you can even make a friend," she said with a warm smile._

"_Tantrum?" a blonde woman said, holding the small hand of a little girl dressed in a pink tutu._

"_She gets a little bit nervous to meet new people" my mom said to the blonde lady._

"_I'm Andrea, this is my daughter Angeline," she said, pointing to the little brunette with the big green eyes._

"_Hi," she said quietly._

"_Hey," I replied._

"_Angie is a little shy, and she is also new here, we just moved from Boston," the blonde lady said._

"_I'm Renee and this is Isabella, so nice to meet you," my mom said, shaking hands with the lady._

"_Why don't you girls go to class, and we will be waiting for you in here alright?" Andrea said with a smile._

"_See baby, I told you you would make a new friend," my mother said with a smile._

_Ten Year old Bella_

"_Bella, your spinning is all wrong," Angie said, looking at me from the wall mirror._

"_Like yours is so much better," I said rolling my eyes._

"_Of course it is. I'm more focused," she said with a smile, making the spin perfectly._

"_Show off," I said, irritated._

"_You know, it's ok to be a little mad," she said with caution._

"_I am not mad," I said looking down at my worn out Pointe shoes._

"_Your mom is getting married and you miss your dad. It's ok to get a little mad," she said quietly._

"_What do you know about it? Your family is more perfect than Barbie and Ken," I said nastily._

"_My parents almost divorced last year," she said looking down._

"_What? Why didn't you tell me, Angie?" I asked her, shocked to hear it._

"_Because if I told you it would become real," she said, before doing another perfect spin and leaving me completely speechless._

_Twelve year old Bella_

"_God, boys are so stupid," I said, looking in the direction of a group of boys messing around on their bikes._

"_Tell me about it, I live with one," Angie said, eating her ice cream._

"_Your brother is stupid. He is always so mean to me and why are his pants always falling down? I can see his underwear," I said with disgust._

"_He's mean with everybody, it's part of his badass faze, or at least that's what my mom always says," she said, looking at the end of the street where Christian was with the other older boys._

"_I just don't get it, why does he need to show his boxers all the time, and why is he always staring at older girls' chests?" I said looking down at my dirty converses._

"_Who knows? As far as I know he could be an alien. Come on Bells, Lizzie McGuire is about to start," she said, taking me by the hand back to the house._

_Fourteen year old Bella _

"_God, I can't believe we can't go to the Hanson concert," I said annoyed, laying down on Angie´s bed._

"_I told you your mom wouldn't let us go to a concert in Houston," she said not looking up from her magazine._

"_It's not that far," I whined._

"_It's in another state," she laughed back at me._

"_Whose side are you on anyway?" I said, getting up from her bed._

"_I didn't know we were on a battle field. Stop being so dramatic Bells," she said, pushing her long hair back on her shoulder._

"_I'm going to go get something to drink," I said, going out of her room and down the stairs towards the kitchen._

"_Wow, where is the fire kitty?" Christian said after I crashed right over his hard chest. He surely had been working out. Should a sixteen year old have that many muscles? Where the hell had that thought come from?_

"_Leave me alone," I said, pushing him away and going to the kitchen._

"_You know, this is my kitchen, you are the one that should leave," he said, trying to look much more threatening than he actually was. After all I had known him almost all my life._

"_Don't you have some cheerleader to be sucking faces with?" I asked annoyed, while grabbing a glass of water._

"_Oh I can see someone is PMSing, good to know you are finally an actual girl," he said with sarcasm._

"_I have always been a girl you idiot," I said annoyed, putting down my glass._

"_No, you were just a baby, but now I can finally see some girl traces in there," he said, pointing to my now much more prominent chest and hips._

"_You are disgusting," I said, feeling my cheeks starting to burn up. God I hated him._

"_I think you actually might just like me," he said, crossing his arms over his chest making his arms muscles more obvious. God, when had he become so hot? No! Bad Bella, you like sensitive guys like Taylor Hanson that write about true love and not some bad mixture of rock star with skater._

"_You are delusional," I said, trying to get away from him as fast as I could._

"_Not at all. I think little Bells Swan might actually have a crush on me," he said with a wild smile. God his smile was so beautiful._

"_Why don't you just go kiss my.." I started to say, but before I could tell him to kiss my ass his lips were actually on my lips. His hands holding my face gently. His long hair tickling me, he was hot and his body felt too large and hard against my soft one. His tongue softly tried to enter my mouth, and that was what broke the spell of the moment and brought me back to reality. I was kissing my best friend's older brother. He had just been my first kiss._

_That was enough for me to find all my strength and push his body far away from mine._

"_Just remember little Bella, I was the first one to kiss those plump lips," he said with a smirk, before leaving me alone in the kitchen, too shocked to move._

_Sixteen Year Old Bella _

"_Why you date those assholes I will never know," Christian said, coming from behind me at my locker._

"_Look who's talking, you date anything that has boobs," I said, grabbing my books and closing the locker._

"_Not everything, just the hot ones," he said with a smile._

"_You are disgusting," I said, walking down the hall._

"_If I'm so disgusting, then why do you always end up with your tongue inside my mouth?" he said with a smirk._

"_Could you talk any louder? I don't think all the students of the school heard," I said with sarcasm. Why I put up with this shit I would never know. Maybe it was because he was so hot. Yeah, probably it was that._

"_Come on Isabella, at least you have to admit the truth, you can't be that dense," he said, walking behind me._

"_What truth Christian? We make out when I am drunk! It's not like it was real love or some shit like that," I said rolling my eyes._

"_Oh, don't kid yourself. You come back every time because I am so much better than those assholes you go out with," he said._

"_Listen, Angie is my best friend and you are her brother. I don't want to lose her because we fool around from time to time," I told him. Why was he still talking about this?_

"_Ok then Princess, let's make a deal. I take you out, officially, show you what a real man is made of. If you still think I'm only worth some drunk make out, then I will leave you alone and you can go back to your sad football tools," he said, pushing his hair back. He always did that when he was nervous. After ten years you get to know someone's nervous habits. Wait a minute, am I making Christian nervous? Since when had the tables turned?_

"_You won't give up will you?" I asked annoyed._

"_Not 'til I get what I want," he said, trying to softly touch my face._

"_Fine, but when this is over you will leave me alone," I said, leaving for my now, very late Calculus test._

_But I never knew that from that day on, Christian would always be there, he would never leave me alone, not even now. He still haunted me. No matter how much I tried to fight this, no matter that Edward Cullen was the owner of my heart, one part of me would always belong to him._

_** End of Flashback**_

"That must have been really intense," Alice said, totally mesmerized by my story.

"It was. Soon after that first date we became an official couple, and incredibly Angie was ok with me dating her brother. She was more than ok actually, I remember she said that 'it was about damn time' that we got together. Apparently I'd been in love with him since I was twelve years old," I said lost in my own memories.

"But why did you guys break up?" she asked me.

"Life happened," I said, putting all the pictures back inside the lost shoe box.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked me.

"Well, Christian finished high school and went to college. He chose to go to Georgetown University, which was a little bit far away from Phoenix," I said with sarcasm.

"I guess he must be really smart then," Alice said with a warm smile.

"Yeah, apparently I like smart guys," I said, thinking about how much Edward and Christian had in common. Edward would probably leave me to if he was in Christian's place. I was the one that got lost after all.

"But, in two more years you could go to a University close to him. After all New York is a few hours away from there," she said, probably thinking about my recent idea to attend Columbia University that I had shared with her a few days ago.

"Maybe, but that's all in the past now. Both of them. My life is here now, with you and Edward. I am more than happy with my life, I won´t be stucked on my past." I said, picking up the box and putting it back inside my closet.

"I'm sorry," she said, and I knew it was sincere, that´s Alice for you. I knew that from that moment on I could always confide on her, she was my best friend, and it was time for me to let people all the way in. It was time to let Edward all the in, he needed to know how deep my feelings were for him, he needed to know that I was in love with him.

"It's ok Ally, I am ok, he is just the one that got away," I said, before putting away that box from my life for good.

It was time for me to just live my life. And let them go.

I was the one that got away. And for the first time in years I was finally happy.

**The One That Got Away - ****Katy Perry**

_Summer after high school__  
__When we first met__  
__We'd make out in your Mustang__  
__To Radiohead__  
__And on my 18th birthday__  
__We got matching tattoos__Used to steal your parent's liquor__  
__And climb to the roof__  
__Talk about our future__  
__Like we had a clue__  
__Never planned that one day__  
__I'd be losing you__In another life,__  
__I would be your girl__  
__We'd keep all our promises__  
__Be us against the world__  
__In another life__  
__I would make you stay__  
__So I don't have to say__  
__You were the one that got away__  
__The one that got away__I was june and you were my johnny cash__  
__Never one without the other__  
__We made a pact__  
__Sometimes when I miss you__  
__I put those records on__  
__Someone said you had your tattoo removed__  
__Saw you downtown__  
__Singing the blues__  
__It's time to face the music__  
__I'm no longer your muse__In another life__  
__I would be your girl__  
__We'd keep all our promises__  
__Be us against the world__  
__In another life__  
__I would make you stay__  
__So I don't have to say__  
__You were the one that got away__  
__The one that got away__The one__  
__The one__  
__The one__  
__The one that got away__All this money__  
__Can't buy me a time machine, no__  
__Can't replace you with a million rings, no__  
__I should've told you__  
__What you meant to me, whoa__  
__'cause now I pay the price__In another life__  
__I would be your girl__  
__We'd keep all our promises__  
__Be us against the world__  
__In another life__  
__I would make you stay__  
__So I don't have to say__  
__You were the one that got away__  
__The one that got away__The one (the one)__  
__The one (the one)__  
__The one (the one)__In another life__  
__I would make you stay__  
__So I don't have to say__  
__You were the one that got away__  
__The one that got away_

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys liked and give me some feedback! I love to hear what you guys think about this story, and to know that my work means so much for many of you guys really does inspire me.**

**Lots of love to LeKat for being a kickass beta!**

**'Til next time.**

**PoisonAngelMuse**


	18. Someone Like You

**Chapter 18 – Someone Like You**

**A/N: Hope you all like this one! Lots of love for LeKat, that even being sick, was abble to be the best beta ever! Enjoy =]**

* * *

**EPOV**

The loud sound of furtinure being moved, scratching over the wooden floors, the voices of men shouting, and noisy trucks being unloaded onto the front porch woke me from my deep sleep.

I slowly opened my eyes, realizing that the day light was very faint, and I could still feel the chilly air of the recent sunrise. What time was it anyway?

I looked for my glasses on my nightstand, turning on the bedside lamp, slowly getting used to the light. I took my Iphone and looked over it. It was 7am. On a freaking Saturday. Fuck my life.

Feeling the desperate need to go back to bed and let sleep take me one more time, I tried closing my eyes and pulling the blankets a little closer to my face. But it was no use, the constant noises downstairs kept me wake and soon I was way more awake than I wanted to be. Seeing no point in staying in bed, I pushed away the warm covers and decided to go see what the hell was going on downstairs.

Walking down the familiar staircase of my house, I felt like I couldn´t reconize the place; it was fucking empty. What had been an elegant living room, with soft couches and arm chairs was now empty, the only remaning thing being the paints and portraits on the walls.

A group of eight men was holding boxes. From the sound of them, they held glasses or something like that, and they kept moving from the front door to the french doors that led to the backyard.

Another group, now of women, were cleaning the wooden floors and carrying vases full of flowers from one side to the other.

My house didn´t even look like my own home. It was filled with strangers and I didn´t like it.

"Mom!" I shouted from the foyer, but there was no sign of her being there.

Not feeling like talking to all of these people, I decided to look for something to eat, hoping that they hadn't decided to take the fridge as well.

But just like all the rest of the entire first floor of my house, there were strange people there also, but this time looking like they were cooking. A group of two women and three men, dressed in white chef's clothes, were cutting and preparing things which I really couldn´t figure out, while other men brought boxes full of bottles of what looked like wine.

"Good to see you're up," I heard from behind me, and almost dropped the orange juice carton I was holding.

"Jesus Christ!" I shouted.

"You know, you shouldn´t use the Lord´s name in vain," my mom said, looking up from her clipboard with a smirk on her lips.

"Funny," I replied with sarcasm.

"So I've heard," she said, while checking something on her clipboard.

"So, are we moving or what?" I asked confused. After all, why should there be so many strange people in my own home on a fucking Saturday morning? And such an early morning it was.

"Oh honey, who knew you were taking Emmett´s place as the joker of the house?" she said laughing.

"Should I even know what that means?" I asked confused, taking a sip of the juice.

"Edward Cullen, how many times do I need to tell you? Don´t drink directly from the carton, it´s disgusting," my mom said, while making an annoyed face.

"Sorry, but I can´t even find the glasses," I said with a smile.

"Here," she said, opening the right cupboard where the glasses had always been as long as I could remember and handing one to me.

"Thanks," I said lowly, taking the glass from her hand and filling it with the juice.

"Aren´t you just a typical moaning teenager today?" she said.

"I'm just not comforatble with half of the city walking around my house," I finally said.

"Can you be more anti-social Edward? Those are hard working people," she said, pointing at all the people running around carrying things.

"I am not anti-social, I'm just selective," I said with a shrug.

"Please, even Grandpa Ed is more social than you these days," she said with a smirk –she knew that comparing me to Edward Senior, my 75 year old grandfather was a low blow – the guy walked around with a walking cane for God's sake.

"Can you please just tell me what the hell is going on? Am I in the Twilight Zone or something?" I said to her.

"Why? Would you rather move those boxes and furniture yourself?" she asked with an arched eyebrow; she already knew the answer to that.

"No, you know how much I lack in coordination. Besides I didn´t know today was the 'moving furniture around day," I replied with sarcasm.

"I can´t believe you forgot," she said with a shocked look on her face.

"Forgot what mother?" I asked annoyed.

"About the party," she said angrily, putting her clipboard on the kitchen counter.

"What party?" I asked, feeling really confused this time.

"Mine and your father´s 20 year aniversary! I can´t believe you forgot it!" she shouted, crossing her arms over her chest, looking angrier by the second.

"That´s today? I thought it was going to be on the 28th," I said, scratching the back of my neck. Oh yeah, I was screwed.

"Edward, today is the 28th," she said shortly.

"Oh crap," I said lowly.

"What?" she asked even more annoyed.

"I may have forgotten to mention this to someone," I said, looking down at my flanel sleeping pants.

"Oh no, I can´t believe this. Did you really forget to invite Bella?" she said looking like I had kicked her puppy.

"It may have slipped my mind. A lot has been going on lately," I said, thinking about how little talking and how much making out Bella and I had going on lately. Yeah, I guess that it had slipped off my mind.

"I can´t belive you, I raised you to be better than that Edward! Now she will think me and your dad don´t want her here," she said looking desperate.

"Calm down mom, I just need to give her a call. Bella is going to be cool about it. Just chill ok?" I said, regretting it as soon as the words flew out of my mouth.

"Chill? Edward this is not some High School party, this is a Gala. My Gala!" She said angrily.

"Ma, I am sorry ok? I am going to fix it, I promise," I said, starting to feel bad. Man, I hoped Bella didn't get pissed like this.

"Oh no young man, I am going to invite her myself. You'd better stay there and try not to be rude to those people, do you hear me young man?" she said, giving me her 'Mom Glaring Death Eyes'.

"Yes ma'am," I said, before hearing the sound of her high heels leaving the kitchen.

Fuck me. The day had barely begun and I'd already pissed off one woman. Could it get any worse?

* * *

The answer to that was yes. Not onlywas my mom super mad at me for forgetting to invite Bella, she also decided to invite her parents, so I guess that not only was I going to have to stand being in front of half of Jacksonville's stupid High Society, I would also have to endure the hard stares of John Williams and my father´s snark comments about my personal life.

So here I was, picking a fraking suit while Titanium played on my speakers – so I liked to hear a beautiful voice mixed with eletronic music – so what? At least like this I could pretend for a little while that there was not going to be a huge gala in my backyard in a couple of hours. Then I would have to be polite and make small conversation with people that represented the things I most hated.

I ended up deciding on a dark Givenchy satin trimmed wool blend suit that Alice had given me on my last birthday, along with a white shirt and white tie. I finished it with a light brown leather pair of shoes. Dressed like this, I would still feel like me even if for one whole night I would have to pretend to be somebody else.

At least I would have Bella and Alice with me, so the night wouldn't be a total waste.

After a hot shower, a little jerked off thinking about my last encounter with Bella – just to release the tension – I was dressed like the good boy and ready to go.

I didn't know if I should wear my contacts today or stay with my heavy dark classic pair of glasses, and before I could even decide a pillow hit me right in the back of the head.

"What the fuck!" I shouted at the sudden intrusion into my private space.

"Good to know you still scream like a little girl," I heard someone saying.

"Emm," I said lowly, feeling confused once more.

"Aren't you gonna give a hug to your big brother?" he asked me from my bedroom door.

"Man, you are here," I said, giving my brother a brotherly hug.

"Nice to know you still miss my sweet ass," he said with a smirk.

"What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in California?" I asked him.

"Yeah, but it's Mom and Dad's anniversary, Do you really think the old man would let me miss it?" he said with sarcasm.

"He said he would cut you off if you didn't come, didn't he?" I asked him, knowing exactly how persuasive my father could get.

"Oh yeah," he said, before jumping on my bed, putting his feet all over the covers.

"Emm, fuck off, you are going to ruin my covers," I shouted at hum, pushing his dirty feet off my bed.

"Bitch," he shouted at me.

"Jerk," I replied – yeah, now it actually felt like home again. Nothing like a big brother to annoy the hell out of you to make you feel like yourself again.

"Oh, so this is the hot piece of ass you've been fucking," he said, grabbing a picture of Bella that was on my bedside table.

"Fuck you, don't talk like that about Bella," I said, taking the picture frame from his hands.

"Don't get so offended princess. I say things like that about Rosie all the time, and you don't see me crying like a bitch about it!" Emm said laughing.

"Yeah, but you date the Devil's daughter," I said annoyed, remembering how annoying Rosalie actually was. That was something I defiantly didn't miss.

"Oh come on bro, she is not that bad," Emm said giving me a big smile.

"Really? Not that bad? Do I need to remind you what happened the last time that evil creature walked into this same bedroom?" I asked angrily, Rosalie really did know no boundaries.

"I can't believe you are still pissed about that toy," Emmett said with annoyance.

"It was not a toy, it was a two thousand dollar first edition of Yoda. You can't just fuck up Yoda and get away with it," I shouted, remembering how she had decided to play with it like it was a doll, 'til one of the arms fell off. Thanks Rosalie for ruining Yoda for me.

"Calm down Young Skywalker, much to learn you still have," Emm said in a mocking tone.

"Sometimes I wonder how we are even related," I said annoyed.

"The force runs strong in our family," he said, grabbing one of my light sabers and standing in a fight position.

"No, I promised myself I would never do this with you again," I told him, remembering how the last time we'd tried to play with sabers I'd ended up with a black eye and a bruised wrist – which made me unable to play for weeks –my dadwas not very happy about that.

"Come on, are you scared to have your ass kicked?" he said mocking me.

"Hell no, I just don't want to ruin your hopes of winning," I replied, turning on my other saber, which made the same sounds as in the movies when I moved it. Those things were awesome. Worth every penny.

"Then bring it on, Young Jedi," he said, moving his saber from one side to the other.

"Well, since I am going to hell anyway, maybe I should do it thoroughly," I said, pulling on my Darth Vader helmet. After all, better to be safe then sorry, right?

* * *

"I can't believe you two, two grown men fighting like little boys," my mom said walking from one side to the other, while me and Emm were sitting on the couch in the TV room. Yeah, today I'd gotten my mom mad in every way possible.

"I'm sorry," we both said, looking down at our now very dirty shoes.

"Sorry? That's all you two have to say?" she asked angrily.

"I am so sorry Ma, I promise I won't do light saber fights inside the house anymore," Emmett said, looking ridiculous to be schooled like he was still 5 years old.

"Edward Masen and Emmett Thomas, I swear if you two try any other funny things today, I am going to ground you both for the rest of your lives! No matter how old you both are, or where you two live, I am going to make sure that you two stay grounded until you turn old and gray. Do you both understand me?" she said, going into angry mother mode.

"Yes ma'am," we both said, knowing we had taken this little duel a bit too far. So yeah, I guess breaking a crystal jar and pushing Emm in the mud was probably not the best idea.

"Now, you both go clean up before your father sees you two looking like that. I still have to get ready and in less than half an hour our guests will be here. Do you think you guys can do that?" she asked.

"Yes, we are both sorry. Now don't worry and go get ready for your party Mom," I told her.

"Be nice. Both of you," she said, before leaving us both alone.

"See, I told ya this was a bad idea," I told Emm who looked like he didn't give a crap.

"Bitch," he said to me.

"Jerk," I replied.

"Come on little bro, let's get this party started" Emm said, walking out the room.

And that's how life with Emmett at home is like. I'd almost forgotten what a pain in my ass he is. But I would not change him, no matter what.

* * *

Not long after that the party started and now was at full force. There were countless faces that I knew belonged at my mom's country club, my father's tennis partners, charitable institutions, book clubs and golf buddies. All of this screamed Carlisle Cullen – too polite and exuberating – I knew this party was more for him than for my mother. She had mentioned to me that she expected him to take time off work, and take her on a nice vacation, just like he used to do before me and Emm were born.

No matter how much my mother was the image of a trophy wife, she was a simple woman with simple and yet elegant taste. I think that's why she spent so much of her time trying to do charity work; it was a way for her to feel like herself, and not like some Malibu Barbie.

I knew she loved my father more than anything. Even after 20 years of marriage, she still looked at him like he was her sun. I would never understand why, but then again, I think she knew a side of him that nobody else knew.

"Why so serious?" a deep voice asked me, touching my right shoulder.

"Hey Uncle Andrew," I said, smiling at my uncle, who held a scotch glass in his hands.

"How are you, Edward?" he asked me nicely. Fuck, my uncle was so nice, sometimes I wondered if he was actually related to my father.

"Fine, just enjoying the party," I said with a false smile.

"Looks like you would enjoy it more if it was a funeral," he said, making me laugh hard.

"Oh, you know me so well," I said laughing.

"Of course I do, you are my nephew," he said warmly.

"Yeah, I guess that not everybody does," I said, looking to where my parents were with a couple of his country club friends. My dad was actually showing off the Blue Nile sapphire and micropavé diamond ring he had given my mother for their anniversary .It was beautiful of course, but I knew she would rather have worn something smaller and more personal than a nice ring to match the dark blue color of her expensive designer dress.

"You know, he always was like that – he doesn't know any other way," Andrew said, looking in the direction I had been looking not so long ago.

"I don't know what you are talking about," I said, looking down at my brown shoes, which still had small drops of mud on them, my small way to rebel over this night.

"Carlisle, he always was this harsh, tense, formal guy who looked like he had something stuck in his ass," he said, making me laugh.

"Yeah, I guess not everybody can be cool like you Uncle Andrew," I told him with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess I didn't have all the weight on my shoulders that your father carries. You know, your grandfather wasn't the nicest man with your father. I think both of them still don't know how to handle my mother's passing away when Carlisle was still a baby. But it's not his fault, it's nobody's fault. One of life's many mysteries I guess," he said before taking another sip of his drink.

"I think this Scotch is getting to you man," I said, trying not to let his words affect me too much. I knew exactly the severe man my father was; no matter what he thought he was guilty of, he didn't need to project his fears on his family.

"Just remember something Edward, your father does love your mother more than anything in the world, even if sometimes he doesn't let it show," he said, before lightly touching my shoulder and walking in the direction of my aunt Catherine and Alice. They were both a vision, my aunt did justice to her years in a lovely red long dress while Alice looked like the sparkly little fairy that she was in her yellow one. And I couldn't not envy the love they felt for each other. I'd always wished that my relationship with my dad was more like my uncle's and Alice's, but now I saw that you can't just play a broken record. My family was happy, even though one of us didn't even know what being really happy actually meant.

**(all dresses in my polyvore account – link on my profile page)**

* * *

"Edward honey, look who I found lost in the room," my mother said, bringing Bella and her family next to her.

She was a vision in a strapless blue silk dress, something I am sure she couldn't have had lying around in the closet, so I knew I should send a thank you note to my cousin. She surely knew how to make women more beautiful than they already were.

"Bella, you look stunning," I said, lightly kissing her on the cheek.

"Thanks," she said lightly blushing over the compliment.

"Mr. and Mrs. Williams, it's so nice to see you two again," I said, shaking hands with Rene and John.

"Edwin," John said with a small laugh, I guess that had become a small inside joke for him.

"John, be nice," Bella said with a angry look to her stepdad.

"And how about me? Did you forget me already Edward?" a sad Claire asked, looking upset that I had left her for the end.

"No, of course not Princess Claire," I said, going down to give her a small hug.

"Isabella, how nice to see you again," I head my father's voice from behind me.

"You too Mr. Cullen. Congratulations on your anniversary," Bella said politely.

"Thank you dear. I must say you look lovely. I didn't know you were a fan of _Haute __couture" _he said looking at her designer dress that I am sure cost much more than Bella would be comfortable to know.

"I'm not, this is Alice's. I just borrowed it because this is such a special occasion," she replied, trying to act cool, but I knew that inside she had died a little bit. Fuck you dad for having to be such an asshole.

"Well, no matter what, you do look very nice," he said, putting his arm on my mom's back, a gesture he had been doing a lot tonight.

"I am sorry I don't think I've had the chance to introduce myself. I am John Williams, Isabella's stepfather," John said, giving my dad's hand a hard shake. Go John!

"Pleasure" my father replied dryly.

"Honey, look your father's arrived. Excuse us please, and enjoy your night," my mother said politely, taking my father in the direction of the hall where Edward Cullen Senior had just walked into the room.

"Baby, I will be back in a minute" I said to Bella, before walking in my grandfather's direction. Oh yeah, now let the games begin.

* * *

"Oh look at you Ally Bee, you look stunning" my grandfather said, giving Alice a small kiss on the forehead. He'd always had a soft spot for Ally, after all she was his only granddaughter

. "Thanks grandpa," she said with a warm smile. She did looked stunning today.

"Oh look, you are wearing your grandmother's Cartier bracelet. You know this was the first big present I was able to give her after I started my business," he said, lightly touching the Caresse d'Orchidées par Cartier bracelet, one of the many pieces of jewelry that he had given to Alice that belonged to my late Grandmother Elizabeth. My mom and my Aunt Catherine also owned a few pieces. I could still tell from the look in his eyes that even after all these years he was still in love with my grandma even if she was not among us anymore.

"Hey Grandpa," I said shyly to him.

"Eddie, come here boy," he said, pulling me into a hug. Since I played for him a few years ago we were closer. I knew he liked to hear my grandma's favorite songs, so once a month I tried to go visit him and play for him. It always brought happiness to his eyes when I played.

"Oh I've forgotten, I was looking at some of your Grandmother Liz's things and I found one of her leather music books. She wrote such beautiful music, and I want you to have it. I am sure she would like that," he said with a smile that didn't even leave me space to try to say no.

"Wow, thanks. I promise to go visit you next week and then I can get grandma's music book," I said with a smile.

"Good, it's been too long since I last heard you play," he said with pride.

"What about me? Did you forgot about your older grandson?" Emmett said, with a smile and open arms.

"It's nice to see you boy," he said, giving a tight embrace to Emm. They'd always shared something special, something that only my Uncle Andrew also shared, some kind of bond that I couldn't even begin to understand. I think that after Emm was born the old man finally found a small amount of happiness again that continued when me and Alice joined the family.

"And now I feel unloved," Uncle Andrew came to our encounter while holding hands with Aunt Catherine.

"Aren't you looking handsome son...and this immortal beauty here. You take care son, or I may try to steal her from you," my grandfather said, while giving a small hug to my aunt.

"Father, you can't flirt with my wife in front of the kids," my uncle said laughing.

"What can I say, I've still got the charms. If you get tired of this one, I can always find a space in my heart for you Catherine," he said with a smile, making all of us laugh while holding tight on his cane. He needed it each day more and more, and I wondered how long I would still have with the curious man that was Edward Cullen Senior.

"Hello father," my dad said, as he approached us with my mother right beside him.

"Carlisle," my grandfather replied shortly.

"Thanks so much for coming tonight Mr. Cullen, it means a lot to us," my mother said politely trying to ease the situation.

"Esme, we have been family for more than 20 years, you named a son after me. I think it's time you let Mr. Cullen go and call me Edward," he said with a warm smile, very different than the cold stare he'd shared with my father not even a minute ago.

"Ok Edward, I am very happy you could join our family tonight," my mom said softly, she always knew how to calm down the old man.

"I know, that's why I came. I didn't want to disappoint you dear, not you," my grandfather said, walking along my mother in the direction of the dining room, leaving all of us behind. I couldn't say that what he had said shocked me, because he had always been like that with my father. Their relationship couldn't be colder. But for the first time I actually saw hurt in my father's eyes when he left, and no matter if he had a fake smile on his lips, I knew today that he was hurt like anybody else. Today he was just a man that suffered for not having his father love.

* * *

"God, everything looks so gorgeous," Bella said to me with a smile.

"'Specially you," I said, pushing her long curled hair away from her face. She was so freaking gorgeous that I couldn't believe she was actually mine.

"You are just saying that because I'm your girlfriend," she said with a smile.

"No, that's not why," I said, really wanting to tell her how much I felt, how much I loved her. But I never knew if it was the right time, if she would say it back, if I would scare her away.

"Ok, I've got to say this year your parent's security was way tighter than last year's party," Jasper said, running in our direction.

"Where the hell did you come from?" I said, happy to see him, but also wondering how he passed those gorillas my father had hired with a very specific guess list to hold.

"I ran from them and then jumped the gate, oh fuck I ruined this. Fuck, Alice is going to kill me," he said, looking at his ripped dress pants.

"And why is that?" I asked him.

"I am Ally's plus one, of course, and this lovely tuxedo is all hers. I swear that woman is a machine. There's no stopping her," he said, pushing his hair back in place and putting together his tie.

"Tell me about it, she played Barbie Bella with me for an entire day," Bella said looking like she went through the Spanish Inquisition with Alice.

"Well well, look what the cat dragged in" Jasper said, looking in the direction of the foyer.

"Who are they?" Bella asked with curiosity. I knew they would attract a lot of attention. If someone would like to play perfect family it would be the Hale´s.

"That's Rosalie Hale, my brother Emmett's devil girlfriend and those are her parents," I said, pointing to Daniel and Lillian Hale. Like always they were dressed to impress, in a small fortune in clothes and jewelry, trying to always look their best.

"They look like movie stars," Bella said, probably enchanted with Lillian and Rosalie's beauty. Sure they were very beautiful on the outside, but on the inside not so much.

We could see Alice running in Rosalie's direction and tightly hugging her, after all they had been best friends almost their entire lives, and I knew that if there were two people in the world that Rosalie actually loved they were my brother and Alice. They hugged and exchanged excited noises, and Rosalie apparently showed a new ring to Alice, one which thank God was on her right hand and not on her left, but still I had a deep feeling that Emmett had something to do with it.

"She and Alice are friends it seems," Bella said quietly, and I knew in that moment that she wondered if she was good enough to be with us here tonight. Silly girl, she was so much more than I would ever deserve.

"More like BFF's. They've been friends since they were in diapers," Jasper said, taking another sip of his drink.

"I don't know what makes me more disturbed, you using the term BFF or your stalking tendencies with my cousin," I said to him, wondering how long he'd actually been in love with Alice but didn't act on it, maybe for my sake, or maybe like Bella he also thought he wasn't good enough.

"She is gorgeous," Bella said quietly, looking at her long blond curls, her slim form and her very expensive dress and jewelry. "Yet she is a fucking bitch," Jasper said with a smile.

"If she is so bad, then why is your brother dating her then?" she asked with a smirk.

"I don't know, as far as I know he may like her because she give's good head, go figure," I said laughing.

"Edward Cullen," Bella said shocked, while Jasper gave me a high five. He knew just as much as I did that sex must be the best thing Rosalie had to offer since she was the devil's spawn. What else could it be?

"Oh look, your parents are doing a speech," Jasper said, pointing towards the dance floor.

My father got the microphone, and asked for the music to stop because he wanted to say some things.

"I wonder what this is about," I said to them.

"Goodnight, to all of you, our closest friends and family. We are here today, to celebrate a very special day for us, to celebrate one of the happiest days of my life, the day I married the love of my life. It's funny because I remember like it was yesterday the day I met her, it was the summer of 1988, when it was still ok to wear big hair and too much hairspray," he said with a smile, making my mother's eyes fill with tears and the crowd laugh.

"I was just a freshman in college and she was the most beautiful girl there. I always saw her, drawing, she was an Art major. And every time I saw her, my heart would feel like it was going to explode, and for more than one year I tried to just go and say hello to that beautiful woman that haunted my dreams and for one year I failed. Until one day I didn't have a choice, since I almost fell on top of her on an afternoon while she was on the campus grass. And you know what she said? She just looked at me and said it took me long enough to find the balls to go talk to her. In that moment I knew she was the one I was looking for," he said, looking with such love and devotion to my mother, that I no longer wondered why my mother always tried to make me see my father's side of things.

"It took me another three years to actually propose, and on this date in 1993 she made me the happiest man in the world when she said yes to me. She is the reason all of you are standing right here with us. Without this woman I wouldn't be the man that I am, I wouldn't have this beautiful family and would never be this happy. Esme, I love you. Happy anniversary, Love" he said, before lightly kissing her on the lips and drying her tears softly with his thumb.

"This is our song, so please share it with us tonight, thank you," he said, before giving the microphone to a waiter and taking my mom to the dance floor, to where a very familiar song started to play. I'd always wondered why they both loved that song so much.

"Come on Edward, let's dance," Bella said, taking me slowly to the dance floor. And even if I knew I was a crappy dancer, tonight I would try, because I would do anything for her, be anything. Because I loved Isabella Swan with every fiber of my being.

Lots of couples soon were all over the dance floor, my parents, my uncle and my aunt, Emm and Rosalie, Jazz and Ally, Lillian and Daniel. They all shared the same look of love that my parents had in their eyes. The same look that I saw Bella giving me, and in that moment I knew, that even if she didn't know it yet I could feel it. There were no more doubts, I knew this time it was true.

_**Someone Like You- **__**Van Morrison**_

_I've been searching a long time  
For someone exactly like you__  
__I've been traveling all around the world__  
__Waiting for you to come through__Someone like you __  
__Make it all worth while__  
__Someone like you __  
__Keep me satisfied. __  
__Someone exactly like you __I've been travellin' a hard road__  
__Baby lookin' for someone exactly like you__  
__I've been carryin' my heavy load__  
__Waiting for the light to come shining through__Someone like you __  
__Make it all worth while__  
__Someone like you __  
__Make me satisfied__  
__Someone exactly like you __I've been doin' some soul searching__  
__To find out where you're at__  
__I've been up and down the highway__  
__In all kinds of foreign lands__Someone like you __  
__Make it all worth while__  
__Someone like you __  
__Keep me satisfied __  
__Someone exactly like you__I've been all around the world__  
__Marching to the beat of a different drum__  
__But just lately I have realized__  
__Baby the best is yet to come__Someone like you __  
__Make it all worth while__  
__Someone like you __  
__Keep me satisfied __  
__Someone exactly like you__  
__Someone exactly like you__  
__Someone exactly like you__Best is yet to come__  
__Ohhhhh the best is yet to come__  
__Someone exactly like you_

"Bella, I..." I started to say, but before I could say anything else her lips where softly on my own.

"It´s my turn to talk Edward," she said, her arms tightly over my neck, my hands on her waist, while our bodies rocked over the soft music and Van Morrison´s voice softly touched us like velvet.

"Ok," I said softly, anxious to hear the words fall off her lips. Something I had been waiting so long to hear.

"I know that some things are better showed in actions than in words, you showed that to me in so many different ways, but this time this need to be said. I need to say this to you," she said softly touching the hair in the back of my neck.

"Ok, you can tell me everything you want. You know I always will be here for you," I said, starting to look scared when sunddenly her eyes filled with tears.

"Baby, what´s wrong?" I asked scared, maybe this was nothing like I had thought, maybe this was her way of telling me goodbye. Oh God, could it be?

"I love you, Edward," she said softly, her eyes full of tears and her lips trembling, her hands over my skin, her lips on mine. Tonight I was finally complete. Tonight I knew the true beauty of loving someone and being loved in return. Tonight I was finally happy.

"_And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more"_

* * *

_A/N: Thanks so much for reading! Please let me knows what you guys think so far :)_

_xoxo _

_PoisonAngelMuse_


	19. Dark Side

**Chapter 19 – Dark Side**

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy this emotional chapter and try to watch the video or listen to the song along with it!**

* * *

**BPOV**

It's never easy to open your heart to someone. To let them all the way in. To let them see not only the pretty and happy, but the sad and ugly too, to go all the way deep inside of you. It's hard to take the first step, to trust that the person is not going to run away at the first sign of complication, or isn't going to let you down when you need them the most. It's a tricky thing – trust – something so hard to get but so easy to lose.

I was the kind of person that never let anyone in, not really. It never seemed worth the risk of putting my heart in the line of fire. To get really hurt, like I had been over and over again. Maybe I was insecure and a coward, after all, what is life if it's not worth risking to live, not to just stand by and see your life passing by your eyes, but to actually live it at its fullest.

Maybe it all started when my mom fell on her knees when Billy told her my father had passed away in service. My dad was the first one to let me down, to break the most sacred of all promises, to always return back home. He swore that no matter how hard, dangerous, or difficult it would be, he would always come back to us. Yet he didn't, he left me and my mom all alone on a cold winter night.

Then it was Christian, the boy who'd stolens and broken my heart more times than I can count. He took my love for granted and left me alone to deal with all my pain. He made me love him, just so he could break me, leaving me again alone in the dark. Maybe he had a thing for seeing me cry, or maybe he just didn't know how to handle us. But in the end he just left me to deal with my sins by myself.

Angie, my best friend, my sister. Just left me alone in a world I couldn't live in anymore, not without her. How could I continue if she had left it? It wasn't fair, and it broke me every time that I reminded myself I was the reason why she was gone. And just like that she took with her all the things I loved the most.

And there was Edward, oh my sweet and innocent Edward, a boy that seemed to look right at my soul and see all the things I tried so hard to bury deep inside. Like he could actually see all my sins, my pain and loneliness, like he could touch something that I tried so hard to shut down. And that's how I knew he would be the worse of all of them. Edward was the one person that could really hurt me.

So to be able to open up, and say what I was so desperate to say, that I loved him, it was one of the biggest steps I'd taken in the past couple years.

I could still remember how his hands were shaking, how his breathing was deep, how his eyes seem to be so full of emotion, so intense, so full of deep, pure and simple love.

I knew he loved me, and I knew he was waiting the right time to say it, but I also knew that if I only said it back after him he would just assume it was over pity or some crap like that. That boy was so messed up and insecure. He just didn't see what I saw. How beautiful and amazing he was.

So I took the first step and said it first.

I must admit I practiced a lot in front of the mirror before I actually had the guts to do it. I thought about all the right words to make him truly understand what he meant to me. To make him see he was much more than some high school crush, that he wasn't a pity case, or something for me to pass my time with before college. He was the real deal and that scared the shit out of me. To let my heart open like that again, to see my future with another person one more time, it was much more than I could take. But I knew he wasn't Christian, I knew the risk was worth taking. Edward was worth it. Our love was worth it.

It had been a few weeks since Carlisle and Esme'ss anniversary party, and even though Edward and I had told each other how we loved each other many times since then, it still made me want to cry every time I heard it.

Would he still love me if he found out the truth? The truth about my life in Phoenix and the reasons behind all of my apparent detachment to the place I'd lived almost all my life. I don't want to think about what he would do if he ever found out about Angie. Would he act like Christian and abandon me when I needed him the most, or would he stay by my side and be there for me?

After all, did I deserve forgiveness? Andrea sure didn't think that I did; soon after the crash she moved as far away from me as she could, going to live in Boston, taking with her what was left of my heart. To her I was only the cause of all her family's suffering, and she was probably right, after all it was my fault that Angeline was driving that night. So it made sense for her to go as close to Christian as she could. They needed each other so much to get through all of that pain, and still after all those years, I wondered if they did get over it or were still stuck in all that suffering.

The memory of that night still gave me chills, to think about the way your entire life can change in just a second, how much you can lose.

Feeling the darkness starting to consume me, I decided to work this out of my system in the dance room before I became another moody teenager. Which is so not my style by the way.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since I had actually been in here, most of my free time I spent with Edward or Alice, so Claire was the one that was most enjoying the mirror room. Since she started having ballet lessons two months ago she'd gotten obsessed with it, trying really hard to learn and be the best she could. Probably all her excitement had to do with the fact that my mom had showed her some VCRs of when I was her age in one of my many recitals. Apparently she wanted to be just like her big sister.

I didn't know if that should disturb me or make me feel proud that I had inspired another dancer, but I couldn't let go of the feeling that my mom was behind all of this, trying to force me to go back to dancing.

She'd never gotten over my decision to not pursue professional ballet. She'd always dreamed I would end up in Juilliard and after some hard work would try to get to the New York City Ballet Company. Who knows, in her mind I was the perfect candidate for being the prima ballerina of the Royal Ballet of London. But no matter what she thought I had the potential for, it would never happen, the woman was delusional.

Deciding to go for a round, I changed my jeans and t-shirt for a pair of black tight leggings and a gray stretch knit long blouse, that was comfy and yet gave me a lot of freedom of movement. For a second I looked at the wood box under my bed that held one of my ballet shoes, wondering if I should try it one more time, but decided against it.

_**(set on my polyvore – link on my profile)**_

I walked to the dance room and switched on the lights, looking around to see if things were the same, even the annoying stickers on the mirror and the posters on the walls. I walked to the corner where there was an arm chair and a small coffee table, putting my IPod in the waiting speaker dock.

Looking through my long music collection I searched for something that fit my unstable humor, not liking most of the songs I found, till I got to Kelly Clarkson's last album. That actually was perfect, it was like the woman had written the freaking CD thinking about me.

I put my long hair in a messy bun, pushing the falling strands far from my eyes, while looking down at my black painted toe nails. Now those really suited my humor these days.

I decided to do a quick warm up, and slowly started to stretch my arms and legs, using the dancing bar to help. I needed to let go of some steam and not to get a sprained muscle. Soon I was warmed up and looking at my reflection in the mirror.

The song started pumping through the small speakers and I just let the song take my body with it. My pace was the same as the beat. In that moment I was that song.

_**Dark Side – Kelly Clarkson**_

_There's a place that I know__  
__It's not pretty there and few have ever gone__  
__If I show it to you now__  
__Will it make you run away__  
__Or will you stay?__Even if it hurts__  
__Even if I try to push you out__  
__Will you return?__  
__And remind me who I really am__  
__Please remind me who I really am__Everybody's got a dark side__  
__Do you love me?__  
__Can you love mine?__  
__Nobody's a picture perfect__  
__But we're worth it__  
__You know that we're worth it__  
__Will you love me?__  
__Even with my dark side?__Like a diamond__  
__From black dust__  
__It's hard to know__  
__We can become__  
__If you give up__  
__So don't give up on me__  
__Please remind me who I really am__Everybody's got a dark side__  
__Do you love me?__  
__Can you love mine?__  
__Nobody's a picture perfect__  
__But we're worth it__  
__You know that we're worth it__  
__Will you love me?__  
__Even with my dark side?__Don't run away__  
__Don't run away__  
__Just tell me that you will stay__  
__Promise me you will stay__Don't run away__  
__Don't run away__  
__Just promise me you will stay__  
__Promise me you will stay__Will you love me? Ohh...__Everybody's got a dark side__  
__Do you love me?__  
__Can you love mine?__  
__Nobody's a picture perfect__  
__But we're worth it__  
__You know that we're worth it__  
__Will you love me?__  
__Even with my dark side?__Don't run away__  
__Don't run away__  
__Don't run away__  
__Promise you will stay_

w w w . watch?v=jU8yJWcvkKc

My movements started slowly, my hands and legs following the soft beat of the song, mixing pop dance moves along with classic ballet ones. I was spinning, jumping, my body shaking from the rush of the song. The lyrics going so deep inside of me.

My hands moved softly, my legs spinning my body in pirouettes, followed by an elegante brisé and finishing my move with a _Jeté_ , jumping from one foot to the other, with my legs going in the direction of the movement.

Suddenly my dance routine wasn't about burning some steam and letting go of my darkest fears, it wasn't a mixture of pop and ballet, it was all about my love for dancing. For letting go of all the reasons that had left me hanging all those years.

It was time for me to let go.

It was time for me to be me again. All of me, and not just this version of me that I let people see, it was time to put myself out there one more time.

It was time to come clean.

The song reached its end and I stopped with soft movements, my body in a clear final position. I was so in deep concentration that I didn't even notice I wasn't alone anymore until I heard the sound of clapping.

And there he stood, leaning over the door , watching me with mesmerized eyes and a sweet smile on his lips.

Shit.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a ballet dancer?" he asked crossing his arms over his chest.

Fuck my life.

* * *

Of all the moments that boy could come though that door and this was the one he choose?

Of course I could try and lie, but I didn't know how much he had seen, and what was the point anyway? I had a freaking dance room next to my bedroom for God's sake. Speaking of which, how had he gotten here in the first place?

"Hey baby, what are you doing here?" I asked, trying not to shout what the fuck was he doing in my sacred space without my permission.

"Hey, my piano professor canceled my class so I decided to come here and see if you wanted to do something with me," he said slowly, looking at me and then to his worn out dark leather boots.

"I see, but how did you get here?" I asked him, wondering why my dear stepfather would let a boy come up to my bedroom like that. John had a very clear policy about no boys in the bedroom.

"Your mom let me in and showed me the way of course," he said clearly starting to notice how pissed I was.

"How nice of her," I said, walking in the direction of the stereo, shutting off the music.

"Are you mad at me, Bella?" he asked me, softly touching my hand.

"I'm not mad," I said, feeling way too uncomfortable with this conversation.

"Then why are you so cold with me?" he asked confused, clearly hurt by my attitude.

"I'm sorry, I just wasn't ready for this yet," I said, sitting down in one of the arm chairs, feeling defeated.

"Ready for what, Bella?" he asked, sitting in the other arm chair across from me.

"To have this conversation with you," I said frustrated.

"Ok, now I am really confused," he said, pushing his glasses back in place.

"Do you have any idea what you being here means?" I asked.

"I think I have a good idea," he replied with a small smile.

"I don't think you do," I said, walking to my bedroom to get the box where all the things that I feared the most where held.

It was time for him to know everything.

* * *

I walked back to the room with the box in my hands. It surely felt heavier then it should be, but that was probably due to the sad story behind the existence of that box and not from the real weight of it.

Edward stood there, silent, his confused eyes following me from one side to the other. His hands were lightly touching his short beard, his boots lightly tapping on the wooden floor of the dance room. Knowing he was as nervous as me to have this conversation made me unsure. Should I really open the Pandora's box? Should I bare all of my dark past to him? Would I lose him in the end?

And maybe that was the real answer that I needed to move on with my life – would he stay after all I had to say or would he take my heart with him and leave me – it wouldn't be the first time.

"Open it," I said, handing him the box.

"What is it?" he said, slowly opening the box and looking at its contents.

Inside there were my favorite Pointe shoes; the satin was worn out and dirty, but it was perfect just like that. Also there were some CDs, and a few photographs of me through my life as a ballet dancer. There it was: me and my entire life. My dark side of the moon.

"Who is this?" Edward asked, holding the same photo that Alice had seen a few weeks ago.

"That's Angeline, she was one of my best friends," I said sadly.

"She was?" he asked lowly, probably scared of what the answer would bring.

"It's a long story," I said, feeling the tears starting to pool in my eyes.

"If it's ok with you, I would like to hear it," he said , softly holding my hand.

"I'm afraid," I murmured, trying not to let him see my tears.

"Of what?" he asked softly.

"Of losing you. Because I am pretty sure you are about to leave me after I tell you this," I said, starting to lose my grip.

"I am not going anywhere," he said, holding my face lightly.

"It happened a couple of years ago, I was sixteen and things were kind of messy for me..." I started to say, letting the memories come back to me.

**FLASHBACK**

"_God, I can't believe this shit," I said, throwing my back violently on my bed._

"_Bells, you are making a big deal over nothing," Angie said, walking behind me to my room._

"_A big deal over nothing? How can you say that Angie? He is fucking leaving!" I shouted at her, feeling so angry I could break something._

"_Yeah, we all are going to leave eventually, that is what is so awesome about college," she said, rolling her eyes, totally not getting the point here._

"_Are you on drugs or something? He is fucking leaving me," I shouted at her, frustrated._

"_No Isabella, he is leaving all of us, so stop being a bitch and remember that he is my brother before being your boyfriend!" she shouted back, which was very unusual for her. Angeline was the calmest person I had ever met._

"_Then how can you be so calm about it?" I said, the tears finally getting to me._

"_God Bella, he won a scholarship in Georgetown, you know how important this is," she said kindly, but even if I knew how big this was, I still felt cheated._

"_Yeah, well I thought he would go somewhere closer and then after we both went to college, he would go to Columbia," I said, so pissed that he had said to me he would go where he could be with me. Fucking liar._

"_Come on Bella, stop being so fucking selfish, maybe you should be moving to Boston and not NYC for college, if you think this is what it takes to be with the one you love," she said to me._

"_Are you insane? Do you have any idea how much I have being going crazy to get into Juilliard, I wouldn't give up on that! That is not the fucking plan!" I shouted._

"_Don't you think that I have been through the same thing as you? Juilliard is my dream as much as it's yours Bella, but I on the other hand am not asking for somebody to give up their dreams for me. So grow up Isabella and stop acting like the world spins around you," Angie said, before grabbing her bag and leaving me alone. After all that was what they always did._

* * *

"_I thought you might be here," I heard his rough voice saying from the door of the dance studio. _

"_Then you know I came here to be alone," I said, slowing practicing in front of the mirrored walls._

"_You are really going to be like that? Are we even going to talk about this?" he said clearly frustrated._

"_Talk about what Christian? How you fucking betrayed me? How could you?" I shouted at him._

"_You talk like I was fucking some chick behind your back! I did not betray you ,Bella," he said, grabbing me by my arm._

"_So what you call what you did, you asshole?" I said, pushing him away from me._

"_I won a freaking scholarship. You want me to just give up on it because you don't want me to go to Washington?" he shouted back at me._

"_You promised me you would go to New York with me," I shouted back at him, what a fucking asshole, how could he not see it?_

"_It's a four hour drive Bella, it's not on the other side of the fucking country," he shouted back._

"_That is not the point. You promised you would be there with me, that we would find an apartment, you, me and Angie! How could you forget that?" I asked madly._

"_I did not forgot that Bella, but I also thought I had no chance to win this scholarship." he shouted back._

"_I didn't even know you had applied for Georgetown," I said, pushing the falling strands of hair back in their place._

"_I applied for many places, Bella, not only NYU and Columbia, you know that," he said lowly._

"_Then why didn't you tell me about Georgetown? Why did I have to find out about my boyfriend moving to D.C. from freaking Emily Harding?" I asked, my heart crushing at each second, the thought of him leaving me was breaking me._

"_I didn't want to disappoint you ok! I knew it was a chance in a million to be accepted, but I also knew that even if I was, I couldn't afford it. The scholarship changed everything Bella! Please, you have to understand, with this economy if I didn't have this scholarship I would have had to get a job just to pay the rent, imagine all the loans I would carry with me after I graduated. Now I will go to the college I always dreamed about and I won't have to leave my first born there as payment," He said full of emotion, and I could see how excited he was, how much passion he had. Still, for me he was picking a path I could not follow._

"_So, Law School is more important than me then?" I said stubbornly._

"_Georgetown is my Juilliard, Bella," he said looking heart broken._

"_Then I guess your choice is pretty obvious then," I said coldly, feeling like life was taking something from me again._

"_Don't do this Bella," he begged me, trying to hold my hands, to change my mind. But I wouldn't let him. I had to protect myself, I couldn't let him hurt me like that._

"_I'm doing nothing Christian. Columbia has such a great Pre-Law course, but you just can't see that can you? You have it all figured out , and you decided this on your own, you decided to leave me," I said, looking down at my Pointe shoes, not standing to look at his deep brown eyes. If I did I would crash and burn. I just couldn't´ do that._

"_Don't see it like that," he said, trying to touch my face, but I turned away from his touch, and for him that was it. He knew I had made up my mind._

"_I have no other way to see this," I said, turning back to the mirror, trying to focus back on my practicing._

"_Is this what you really want Isabella?" he asked , his eyes full of pain and sorrow, but I knew him, soon his eyes would be filled with another emotion: anger. It would be for the best, it would be best if we both just let it go._

"_Yes, I see no point in dragging this along. It's best if we both just started living our decisions. You in D.C. and me in New York," I said lowly._

"_Whatever, just remember this was your choice and not mine. I do love you Bella, but I won't give up on all my dreams for you, and if you really did love me you would support me on this. I can't believe this crap. Have a nice life Isabella," he said, before grabbing his helmet and leaving me alone in the dance room._

_Then I let all the tears that I was holding in consume me._

* * *

"_Bella you have to stop with this, it's been three months already," Angie said, walking behind me in the hall._

"_I'm fine Angie," I told her, really not into starting this whole Christian drama one more time._

"_No you are not fine, all you have been doing is practicing and going to school, this is so not you," she said , clearly worried about me._

"_It's what you do all the time" I told her. Angeline was one of the quietest people I had ever met, the girl really needed to get her nose out of the books._

"_Yeah, but that is my normal self, this version of you is a sad version of Bella. Come on, when my brother was still here you weren't like this, you went out all the time. You were this shining and happy person. I miss happy Bella," she said lightly touching my arm._

"_You are so overreacting," I said, opening my locker top put my gym bag inside._

"_Really? Any more of this and you can join the nuns," she said with an arched eyebrow._

"_Looking good Bella, are you coming to my party on Friday?" Aaron Riley asked me with a sweet smile. Oh yeah, Aaron, the captain of the football team, tall, with deep blue eyes and super hot. He and I did have our moments when I was single. Christian really hated Aaron Riley._

"_Is that a special invitation?" I asked him with a flirting smile._

"_For you, always," he said with a big charming smile. Oh yeah, he was still hot as hell. And I might just get burned._

"_Then I might make an appearance," I said with a smile._

"_I'll see you there then," he said, before walking down the hall._

"_What the hell was that, Bella?" Angie asked me shocked._

"_You told me you wanted the old Bella back, this is her coming out to play," I said with a smirk._

"_I wanted you to go out with me and our friends, go to a concert, go anywherem but not to go out with Aaron Riley," she said angrily.._

"_I am not going out with him, I am going to his party" I said to her._

"_To him that's pretty much the same thing," she said in an annoyed tone._

"_It's like you said, it's been three months. It's time for me to move on," I said before grabbing my books and ending the discussion._

_It was time for me to let it go._

* * *

"_I can´t belive I let you bring me to this party," Angie said, looking with disgust at Phoenix High's not so sober population._

"_Come on Angie, live a little," I said with a smile, before taking another drink of my beer._

"_Unlike you, I am the responsible one, I am driving remember," she said with a smirk._

"_I am responsible, I am the one that gave you my car keys," I said laughing._

"_Oh look, there's your prince charming," Angie said with sarcasm._

"_Oh I always knew you had it in you," I said, laughing at her, after all she was the nicest girl ,never saying bad things about anybody._

"_Hey Bella. Michaels," he said to me and Angie, looking me up and down with apreciation, I knew I looked hot. _

"_Rilley," she replied with annoyance._

"_So, how is that biker brother of yours?Already in jail or still going strong?" he asked with sarcasm. He knew just like everyone else that he went to Georgetown University after he graduated, which was the main reason I was at this party. Actually that was exactly the reason._

"_How about those grades of yours?Still failling everything?" she asked coldly._

"_Ouch, aren´t you a little bad ass?" he said, before taking a sip of his drink._

"_You have no idea," she said with a glare._

"_Ok you two, be good," I said, trying to lighten up the mood._

"_Why don´t I bring you another drink and you can save me a dance?" he said with a charming smile._

"_Definitely," I told him, watching him disappear in the middle of the crowd._

"_What the hell is going on with you Bella?That is not you," Angie asked me with a sad tone._

"_It's time to move on. Your brother already did, it's my turn to do the same," I told her, before taking a shot of whatever it was._

_I had to admit that taking ten jello-shots plus all the beer was not such a good idea. The room suddenly appeared to be too bright and moving too fast, and I wasn't feeling so good. But that did not stop me from dancing with Aaron and some other boys, which I can assume was really what made Angie so pissed. But everything I did these days appeared to piss my best friend off._

"_Ok, that's enough," she said, taking my beer cup from my hand._

"_What, come on give it back," I said, trying to reach for my cup but failling miserably. Crap._

"_You are wasted. I need to get you out of here," she said, trying to make me get up from the couch that I had been stuck on for the past 20 minutes, since I had lost the ability to walk straight. Damm heels._

"_No mom, just five more minutes," I said laughing, why I had no idea._

"_That´s enough Isabella Marie Swan, we are leaving right now," she shouted, before grabbing my lather jacket that was thrown on a chair and making me get up._

"_Fine," I said walking with her to my old Jeep was my father´s old car, my sweet sixteen birthday present._

"_Thank God I am the one driving," Angie said, before closing her door._

"_I don´t think I like this bad ass version of you," I said drunkly._

"_And I don´t like this slutty drunk version of you either,so suck it up," she said, turning on the car and down the road._

_The drive was long, and a light rain started to fall which was weird for this time of the year. Yet it suited my mood,the sound of rain falling made me want to sleep._

"_No way Young Lady, you are not dreaming on me, you'll have to face John and not me," she said, shaking me up and not letting me sleep._

"_Fuck him for all I care," I said, annoyed._

"_Hell Bella, don´t talk like that. You know he loves you like a daughter," she shouted back at me._

"_Fuck him, fuck my dad and fuck your asshole of a brother," I shouted back._

"_And here we go. Is that what all of this crap is about?You are doing this to annoy Christian? For pete´s sake Bells he's not even here, how is he suposed to know about this?" she said trying to reason with me._

"_I don´t care, he is an asshole and he can die for all I care," I said, feeling like a petulant child._

"_Oh my God, you can´t honestly mean thatm" she said shocked, our screams going against the sound of the heavy rain that started to fall._

"_Of course I can, he doesn´t give a sgit about me anywaym" I stormed._

"_What the hell are you talking about? I'm sure he still loves you as much as you love him," she said to me._

"_No he dosen´t. If he did then he wouldn´t be with somebody else, would he," I said, tears falling down my face,the sobs taking the air out of my chest._

"_What?No Bella! That's probably a mistake! I would know if he was with someone else." she said unbeliving._

"_Then why when I called his cell phone two weeks ago a woman picked up? It was pretty late too, so we both can imagine what was going on. I've lost him, forever," I said, crying so hard I could barely speak the words._

"_Don´t say that Bells, my brother is crazy about you, you two will get past this, trust me," she said kindly with her warm smile, the only thing capable of calming me down in a moment like this. What would I do without her?_

_Before I could reply the streaming light of headlights appeared in the middle of the rain._

"_Angie look out!" I shouted._

_But it was too late, the truck was too fast, and it was raining too much._

_The world spun, the power of the crash hit us with force, the sound of metal twisting mixed with our screams. And all faded to black._

* * *

_The bright white lights on the ceiling woke me up from my foggy sleep. I could hear whispers and the sounds of machines. I tried to open my eyes but it felt so hard to do, my mouth was so dry and I couldn´t say a word._

_What the hell had happened?_

* * *

"_Bella, baby can you hear me?" I heard a soft voice whispering. I knew that voice._

"_Mom," I whispered, my voice barely audible._

"_Honey, I am so glad to hear your voice," my mom said, lightly kissing my hand, tears in her eyes._

"_What is going on?" I asked, confused, now focusing on the white walls and the smell of bleach._

"_Bells, do you remeber anything?" John asked, sitting next to me._

"_I don´t, I think, maybe we were in the car," I said, everything feeling so confusing. I didn´t know what was truth and what was just a dream._

"_You and Angeline were in the car, coming back from a party, it was raining a lot. Do you remember that?" he said calmly._

"_I think so," I said, remebering the sound of the rain mixed with tears._

"_There was an accident, a truck crashed over your car. It took you off the road, and down a hill," he said quietly, yet his eyes were also full of tears._

"_I don´t, I don´t understand what you are trying to say," I said confused,my head was aching and the lights were too bright._

"_You and Angeline got hurt. You hit your head pretty hard and got a strained wrist,"he said, poiting tom y casted arm._

"_What?Where is Angie?What is going on?" I said, trying to get up from the bed, but failling._

"_The truck hit Angeline´s side, so she got the worst of the crash. I am so sorry Bella," he said, lightly kissing my head._

"_What are you talking about?Where is she?" I said frustrated._

"_Bella, please you have to calm down," my mom said, trying to hold me still._

"_Where is Angie?" I shouted at them._

"_She's in a coma, breathing through a machine. She is really bad, Bells," John said in a devasted tone._

"_This can´t be happening," I said, the suffocating tears running down my cheeks,the air leaving my chest, the pain much more unbearable than anything I had ever felt._

_What had I done?_

* * *

"_How could you be so irresponsible, Isabella?" Andrea shouted at me after pushing harshly through the door._

"_I am so sorry," I said between tears. I hadn't meant for any of this to happen. If I'd known I would never have gone to that party, I would never have drunk, she wouldn´t have been there with me._

"_You have no right to talk to my daughter like this," my mom said, walking to stay in front of me, to protect me. But I didn´t desserve it, not after what I had done to Angie._

"_Because of her I lost my baby, she was only 16 years old, how could you do this?" Andrea shouted desperately, tears streaming down her pale face._

_I guess it was true then. Angie wouldn´t come out of it. She was gone._

"_You were the one supposed to be driving, not Angeline, not my Angie," she shouted, hugging her husband Peter – who also had tears in his eyes – but stood there strong for his wife. Silent. Destroyed inside._

"_Let´s just take a deep breath here, this is no one's fault it was an accident," John said, hugging me, letting my tears wet his entire expensive did this have to happen? _

_Why had she been the one to get hurt?It wasn't fair._

"_How could you do this, Bella?" a voice said from the hospital bedroom's door._

"_Christian, I am so sorry," I said between tears, not supporting the idea of losing him too. But I knew that this time I had gone too far and was too far gone. This was the last straw. This time I had actually lost him. He had forgiven me for a lot of things before, but he would never forgive me after what I did to his baby sister._

"_So am I Bella, so am I. I just don´t know you anymore," he said, running a hand through his long dark hair, his eyes full of pain and sorrow - before leaving me alone – all alone – all over again. This time forever._

"_You listen to me - stay away from my son and from my family – or I swear you are going to wish you were the one that didn´t come back from that accident," Andrea said pointing a finger in my direction._

"_Now you've gone too far, Bella is hurt also and needs to rest; she is suffering just like you - please just leave," my mother said, motioning to the door._

"_Let´s go, Andrea," Peter said, taking a hysterical Andrea in his arms and leaving._

"_Everything is going to be ok baby," my mom said, kissing my bruised head and drying my tears._

_But I knew that nothing would ever be ok ever again. Today I had lost two of the people I most loved in my life._

_Today all of my dreams had died inside that car._

_*End of Flashback*_

"After a few weeks they decided to take Angie to D.C. where Christian was going to college, to see if they could get a better treatment," I said, drying the tears with the back of my hand.

"Did she ever wake up?" Edward asked me, holding my trembling hand.

"I don´t know, I don´t think so," I said,feeling so ashamed.

"How come?" he asked me.

"I tried for a few months to get information about her condition, but her parentes were very clear when they said I was going to stay away from their family. And after a while I just gave up, after all what right did I have to want something? It was my fault she was in a coma, that she had to breathe through machines, that she would never come back. And even if she did, she probably wouldn´t walk, maybe talk. I ruined my best friend´s life," I said sobbing.

"Don´t talk like that Bella, it was not your fault. You weren´t driving that truck," he said, drying my tears with his thumbs.

"But it was my fault, I was the one that wanted to go to the party, the one that drank too much and asked her best friend to drive. It was supose to be me, not her, it was suposed to be me in that bed," I said sadly.

"So that's why you stopped then? If she couldn´t move on, dance, go to Juilliard then neither could you?" he asked me in a gentle tone.

"Why should I? What right do I have to move on with my life, to have all those dreams and ambitions if she doesn't? It is just not rightm" I said, looking around, seeing little pieces of me and Angie´s dream in every parto of this dance room.

"Bella, I don´t think she would like you to live like this. From what I heard she was a kind and loving person. She wouldn´t want you to be stuck in the past, to stop living, to be a shell of yourself. If anything you must honor her by living life at its fullest, for you and for her, to make both of your dreams come true. And not to run from them. Stop runing Bella and start living," he told me, lightly caressing my face.

"Why aren´t you running" I asked him between tears.

"Because I love you, and nothing is going to change that," he said, before lightly kissing me on the lips.

"I love you too," I said, holding him.

"_You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not."_He said before his lips decended on mine one one more time.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you all like this chapter! I am so sorry it took me this long to write but real life was insane!**

**Just want to say that I love you all my readers, you guys make my day like no one else! I am thinking about opening a facebook account to have a bigger contact with you guys, what do you all think?**

**Lots of love for LeKat for keeping up with my crazy ways =D**

**Tell me what you guys think about it!**

**And in case you want to know, this last tine was from the book **_**My Sister's Keeper**__** from **_**Jodi Picoult****.**

**Xx**

**PoisonAngelMuse.**


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